My name is Antonio. I was born in Italy in 1953. In my youth I was rebellious, indecisive, and always looking for something to fulfill me. I have been living in the US since 1993. I am married and have two wonderful children. My wife is a wonderful person and supports me in my own personal growth. Here I studied Thai chi and did a variety of workshops that involved transformation. However life in the United States has been very difficult and stressful I did not feel like I belonged in this country and would often get angry at anything and anybody. I was feeling a lot of guilt because I am an only child and left both of my elderly parents in Italy. In fact two years ago my father died. My guilt just became overwhelming because my mother was left really alone to fend for herself.

In June of 1996 I started my own business with a very close friend and I not only lost a lot of money but also my dear friend. He became very sick while involved with my business and he ultimately killed himself. I was very angry with him because he did not keep his word and because he literally stole money from me.

I finally went to work as a laborer in order to pay back my debt and support my family. While I was working I had multiple injuries. These injuries were median nerve damage, bi-lateral carpal tunnel, several herniated discs and a very bad knee injury. I underwent several operations that further complicated the problem. I found myself experiencing chronic pain and a variety of doctors and medications. The medications were the most difficult to deal with because I could not live without them yet I was suffering serious side effects with them. These side affects included depression, mood swings, palpitations and generalized anxiety. I was unable to sleep and most of the time I would have fits of anger.

While in Italy this summer I decided something had to change. I started by going to a holistic therapist. He basically told me that if I continued to live this way I would die. He described me as a burning building. He put me on a strict detox diet and told me I would have to get rid of all my medications. I was able to stay on the diet but I was extremely fearful of giving up my medications. When I came back to the United States I knew that I had to find a completely different lifestyle. I called my Thai chi master. He talked to me about Falun Gong. I immediately got in touch with cultivators at Tufts University.

This has become a journey of self discovery and exploration. Through my studies of Falun Dafa I have realized many things. First and foremost I realized my lack of commitment to myself in all areas of my life. I then learned that I had attachments that kept me from realizing my goals in life. This originally showed up as my own inability to concentrate while reading the books. I was unable to sit still and would have to get up repeatedly to smoke a cigarette. I experienced extreme pain in my whole body while doing the exercises yet I realized that in life I was often quitting when things became difficult.

After one month of cultivating I was able to quit smoking. This happened primarily due to other practitioners who continued to urge me to quit, but I agreed to give it up when master Li addressed the smoking issue in his book. When I finally came to that chapter, I made a firm commitment to finally give it up, and I succeeded. I became aware of my need as a cultivator to purify my body. I then realized that I could also give up my medications with the help of master Li. I continued to practice and study daily and slowly I weaned myself off of all the medications that I was taking. I must say that I still experience pain although my relationship to the pain is different or I have let go of my attachment to the pain.

I realize now that my ability to endure the discomfort in my life is not only necessary but it will get me to the next step on my road of cultivation. Although I have been cultivating for only three and a half months, the exercises continue to be difficult and I am still unable to assume the lotus position. Through the readings I have been able to give up all the anger I was living with especially regarding my dear friend, who committed suicide. I realized how much growth came from my relationship with him. I have been able to live in this country now feeling a part of it. I have been able to really let go of my attachment to guilt regarding my mother and accepting that she has her own karma. I focus daily on truthfulness, benevolence, and forbearance (Zhen-Shan-Ren). This is not always easy although I feel that these values are cultivation! I realize now that my tribulations will allow me to see that which I was unable to see before Falun Dafa. For example in my relationship with my wife I have realized that I was no longer laughing the way that I used to. During a fight now I can kid around and ask for her De. She then starts laughing and the fight ends before it even starts.

I can go on and on about the benefits of Falun Dafa in my life. But the most recent benefit just happened the other day when I had to have hand surgery. Prior to the surgery I did some exercises and felt very peaceful going into the operating room (I did have a lot of tribulation even about having the surgery itself). I was given medications to take postoperative yet I did not take them. I feel that after doing Falun gong, my mind and body are responding at another level where I am able to support pain differently then in the past.

I want to thank all of you for giving me the opportunity to share my experience with you. I would also like to thank my wife and my family of cultivators that continue to be of great support to me especially in times of tribulations. I would also like to thank the professor who introduced Falun gong to me, and of course many thanks to master Li who has given all of us Falun Dafa.