For as long as I can remember in this lifetime, I have been searching for serious ways to contribute to "peace on earth". I have always worked on myself internally, knowing that any real contribution must begin with responsibility for my own thoughts and actions. By my early teenage years I came to realize that in the world in which I lived, most people seemed to be wishing for more "things", such as more money and improved lifestyles. I needed to learn lessons and go on my way. I tended towards a somewhat superficial understanding of Buddhist ways. I 100 percent acknowledged reincarnation as fact, and I knew I had some debts to pay. But I also believed that my essence was good and that I must have done something right to be born with so much love in my heart, and to be so deeply concerned for mankind and his actions from such a young age.
Consequently as I read metaphysical books I could identify with and attended many associated classes, I began to find other like-minded, like-hearted people and teachers I respected along the way. I was relieved to find what I perceived to be "pieces of puzzles found".
I returned to the ordinary world. I excelled in education, receiving awards for 'citizenship' and scholastic merits, and earned a music scholarship and a career that took me in five star fashion around the world. Only acknowledging higher beings in my private writings, I was more than happy to be a normal person. I continued to be intensely passionate about world Peace, and sincerely attempted to contribute through my music. Fortunately at the end of my world touring, I was a little more honest with myself, for I had grown increasingly disrespectful in the way I was handling my profession. I visualized what I perceived to be a past life experience; however it was displayed with parallels to this life. It was an enormous awakening, as I came to see that my life as an international pianist had to end, immediately. Besides, any revelations notwithstanding, I was incredibly ill by this stage.
And then I began to open and see again. I saw so many rainbows dancing in light I cannot say. My super natural capabilities were without dark experiences, and I saw so many people, lives, visions, experiences, word for word. I saw their sources of pain and anguish and wished to comfort them by allowing them to know that I could see them. I would let them know by gently stating facts that only they could know. They would be comforted and amazed by me; unfortunately, in all honesty, so was I. Alas I had used my powers, I thought, to help, to heal. And once again, I wanted to heal the world. Somehow I had convinced myself over the years that it was my God given duty, that I had been granted these seeing and healing gifts and that they should be given compassionately by me to whomever needed them. Ignoring basic Karmic principles in the face of my own ego attachments, I literally threw myself back into healing. I accepted person after person who came to me, and I went out on the streets to find others to help. In retrospect, I was full of myself, and feeling very special. The more I gave, the endless oozing of my love amazed me, and yet I didn't know how this was all happening. I just trusted my higher self and God.
Having a somewhat complicated, extensive history of illness over numerous years, and a so-called "incurable disease" soon turned me to new 'reality checks'. I received diagnosis after positive diagnosis. I went from totally resisting drugs to giving in to drugs, while always absolutely knowing that these medical conditions were not about bad luck, but about lessons not yet learned --karma. My cells refused so many drugs, which only confused the so-called ailments. The more I felt I must pay Karma, the more I tried to be selfless, ignore my own illnesses and carry on helping to heal others, the sicker I became. I had still not let go of the significant ego attachment of healing others. The more Karma I thought I paid, the worse the disease, the worse the suffering. Then just last year, I thought I must be so shamefully bad, it wasn't going to get any better and maybe I was simply destined to die of disease in this lifetime. After all, I already had one illness after another, then was diagnosed by three specialists as having a genetic brain disease in a chronic state--a disease that kills, according to medical statistics, one in seven sufferers. I was forever skeptical of the doctors, persisted with oriental healing methods and continued to search for a genuine Qigong master. This I found no easy task, and I traveled extensively, to no avail. I kept reminding myself that I was learning, re-paying Karma and that my ego was raw and more pure now. Surely, soon this "disease" would end, but it just didn't; instead it grew worse, and I honestly thought my spirit could take no more. I felt myself sinking. By this stage I was existing only day by day, not even recognizing who I was at times. All my life I had felt soft, and yet so strong (deep inside). I could understand the Karmic debts I must pay; however I felt I was growing increasingly weaker.
Having lived in Asia as a child and, to the best of my knowledge, in past lives also, I returned and worked in China in 1993. Again, so many experiences occurred. In short, so many reminders, sparks, dreams and direct memory recollections occurred. I have returned again and again since, knowing something important was leading me there and just trusting that. Last year, in terrible health, I returned to Shanghai once again. This time it was different, as something was coming into it's own-- I knew not what. On the plane departing from Shanghai, I felt so absolutely ill, with words slurring, fatigue, non co-ordination of limbs, and a high temperature. Lying down across the seats, I stared, with my eyes wide open, fully conscious, at an entity/apparition. A horrendous long-haired man appeared right in front of me, face to face. Over the years there have been so many abnormal or super natural experiences. This time I simply couldn't have cared less, and was indifferent.
On my return from China, I looked and looked at this horrid man and softly I just said, "enough, that's enough... It's gone too far." I turned face to face with this man, so that he was "as clear as day", and whether I was in full hallucination with disease or it was another entity visit, I didn't care. With absolutely no fear, I turned back to the man, looked at him despondently, and then gave up every conflict in my body, ever so gently.
On arrival I was weak and stayed in bed for two days, quietly reading some Buddhist scriptures. Feeling relaxed in Bali, peacefully I began to read Master Li's book, which had been given to me prior to leaving Australia. I realized this was indeed far more than a book. I can say with every truth inside of me, that within 24 hours, my entire life, my body, my world, was rearranged as it had been prearranged. I felt what I can only describe as electrical shooting currents throughout my body, nerve endings, abdomen, muscles and emotions. I had never felt like this in my life; it was overwhelming and yet incredibly peaceful. My husband was to witness his wife responding in every way to radical, radical change. My super normal capabilities seemed prominent and seemed to dance with nature to the rhythm of this change. How can I explain; I cannot.
On my return to Australia 3 weeks later, knowing the illnesses had gone, never to be again and having given up the medication, I did not return to the specialists or general practitioner. After many weeks I attended the GP in order to conduct appropriate blood tests for my somewhat skeptical family, for their comfort. They were used to me refusing drug treatment, medical treatment and disease itself. They lived in apprehension that as the weeks and months went by, I would come out of 'remission' and my world would collapse due to my untold confidence in my wellness. However, their acceptance came about because of my stable blood tests, thyroid levels, the rectification of certain bodily functions, cessation of acute facial swelling, absence of severe pain; by the look in my eyes, the colour of my skin, my clarity of speech, thought, energy levels, and by my return to working life and University study.
And then another event took place that brought wonder and significant change. One night in October, I awoke suddenly, wide-eyed and intensely aware. Approximately 2 feet in front of my eyes, in the shape of an oblong and about the size of a large house brick, I saw an almost luminous shining, within the shape, symbols spinning rapidly: it was glorious. I then had an enormous energy surge. I turned to my husband and described the wonder I had just witnessed. He accepted and respected my experience. Hours later he looked into my eyes and stated that he could see me for what seemed like miles. And we both knew that a miracle of a sort had occurred. Having been unable to conceive due firstly to the absence of menstruation and then to high risk poisonous medication, due to severe ill health, we had faced that I was in no condition to consider childbirth. Again I knew it was Karma and this issue was initially devastating in our lives. However after receiving the Dafa from Master Li, this too changed.
The conception of our child occurred the very same day in October when I awoke to that glorious Falun spinning in front of my eyes. I am now 6 months pregnant. There is so much rejoicing in our families it is beyond words. My mother has now read both books, my father reads Falun Dafa from the internet and passes it to my brother-in-law who is a doctor and is somewhat fascinated with the change. My brother has brought his girlfriend to classes and she is reading the book. My husband and I live every day in thanksgiving. My original GP and specialists, now fully aware of my total health, remain skeptical, and call it remission. One even blamed the other and called it misdiagnosis. However they cannot refute the factual evidence of a genetic disease disappearing and a complete turn around in health without the medication which is considered essential in keeping the illnesses under control. And why would I argue...? The point is beyond it all.
If I were to make the point, that I had negative independent life forms living in and on my body, that may have been intent on attaining or controlling my spirit, that I had to pay Karmic debts because of the black, vile substance that they, the medics, recognized as disease, and that I am now free of much of the black stuff they once tried to alleviate with chemicals, what would they do? I think they would prescribe another chemical agent to control this kind of thinking. After all, this is 'The West,' and the concept of Karma is not included in western medical healing--which makes it, in my opinion all the more important for us to promote the idea, not only as it relates to disease, but in the entirety of human health: spirit, mind and body.
It seems like years since I first read Master Li's book. It seems barely possible that it was only last August... such immense, rapid change. And yet I realize that time is only a concept.
On attaining Dafa I also recognized the crucial knowledge that practicing dual or multiple metaphysical systems in turn creates physical and spiritual chaos. In my immediate, total respect of Master Li and increasing discipline, my illnesses and diseases have rapidly disappeared. I now celebrate pregnancy and a life of ever increasing well being.
How could I not have tears in my eyes when I talk about or write about this? How could I possibly say in human words, what Master Li and Falun Dafa mean to me? I sincerely recognize that at this time, in this dimension, I understand such a minuscule degree of the Dafa, of its profound nature and endless unfolding. How could I begin to explain my utter appreciation and respect for having the chance to begin to comprehend and receive Dafa.
This is beyond words... we know this. Every day I practice the Dafa, and will forevermore. And one day when I have truly learned, when it is my predetermined destiny, I will be home again. For now, I am truly privileged to have been touched by Master Li. In that incredible moment, I turned and Master Li offered me everything that truly matters. I am now guided with a comprehensive, sensible, intellectual, methodically structured, 'deeply profound, divine cultivation way' that allows me to truly contribute to world peace, and to return to where I once originated -- a pure reflection of the cosmos.
For anyone who may have doubts, won't you give them up? For any non-practitioner who would think that I am trying to influence them, or that I am somehow 'brainwashed' or 'unstable', I would say, it does not matter. It does not matter if you do not comprehend the level of Master Li; perhaps it is not your destiny yet.
For if it is, you would realize that everything I say is born of pure gratitude and honest relief, and that I must have done something right, in the midst of all the wrongs, to become a genuine practitioner of Falun Dafa.