(Clearwisdom.net)
I am a practitioner who has collaborated with the evil. I am writing out my experience and understanding to share with my fellow practitioners. It was my fellow practitioners in the United States and Europe who called me because they found my name on the Minghui website and told me that I had committed errors. I eventually returned to my senses through Fa study and realized that my attachments had been utilized by the evil. I immediately published on the internet, my solemn declaration that I would make up the loss I had caused to Dafa. While cultivating myself with firm determination, I tried to help other practitioners who had collaborated with the evil. Some practitioners realized their mistakes, but they thought that publishing solemn declarations was just a formality and resuming practicing at home would be enough. I think it was because of fear that they didn't write a solemn declaration. Our teacher has given those of us who went astray a precious chance to start anew. How can we not take it? In his article "Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts", Teacher stated,
"When they return to their senses, they will immediately start doing again what a Dafa student should do during this time, and, in the meantime, will declare as null and void everything that they said and wrote when they were not in their right minds due to intense persecution, and will declare that they are determined in cultivation."
I think neither of the two things can be spared: to start doing again what we should do and to make a declaration, because it is a declaration to the evil of our determination to correct our wrong-doings, a proof to the universe that we are Dafa practitioners, and an exposure of evil rumors.
Teacher said,
"Don't we often refer to the conservation of matter? Whatever you do will leave an image and some message in a specific space. When people have done something, as they do with a wave of hand, it is all material existence. In another space, it is conserved and will exist there forever." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Two, on "Supernormal Capability of Total Recall")
Many practitioners who have collaborated with the evil have written a lot of words against Dafa. If you don't declare as null and void everything that you have said and written against Dafa, how can they be destroyed? The Gods in the universe are watching us.
Here are the two enlightenments I obtained when I began to cultivate anew.
When I realized that I had gone astray, Teacher showed me in my dream that my
immortal infant (as tall as my chin) melted down, exactly as said in the Fa
lectures. I know that Teacher has borne so much for me. His profound compassion
is beyond words. I cultivated myself and clarified the truth with full effort.
Then, Teacher gave me another situation to enlighten to. I walked step by step
out of a dungeon, and Teacher held my hand. It was very tiring, but I followed
Teacher without saying a word. Suddenly, I was stuck in a black mess that
dragged me down. I shouted for Teacher out of nervousness. I knew that Teacher
was next to me. He didn't say anything. I finally calmed down after being
dragged down one floor. I said to myself, "I am a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification
period." I started reciting the Fa-rectification formulas. The black mess was
gone. I continued to follow Teacher, and eventually walked out of the dungeon.
Then Teacher called me by my name. He said, "You finally walked out!" And then,
Teacher sent me to a tall mountain. I realized that I finally walked out of
hell.
During the time I re-joined Fa-rectification, my workplace held a brainwashing class, and they asked me to help with brainwashing others. I told them that I had started cultivation again. They wanted to send me to a brainwashing class. Because of fear, I didn't realize that I should have resisted the persecution, so I left my home. On hearing that I left home, my company asked my husband to write a "guarantee" for me. I realized that this was a form of evil persecution, and so was the situation of being forced out of my home. I shouldn't have borne this persecution passively. I returned home, told my husband not to write a "guarantee" and gave him an explanation. My husband understood and agreed not to write it. My company finally gave up. They told me that they wouldn't send me to the brainwashing classes and that my husband no longer needed to write a "guarantee." Because of my resistance to the persecution, my company agreed to drop my case. But I took this opportunity to clarify the truth to my bosses. They returned to their senses.
Teacher has made it clear that,
"Wherever there's a problem, that is where you need to clarify the truth and save people. Don't take a detour when you run into difficulties. When you see something that does us harm, or when you see something blocking our validating the Fa, don't take a detour -- you should face it, and clarify the truth and save those beings." ("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. Fa Conference", 2002).
When I clarified the truth by boldly facing my company and my community [the bottom layer of Chinese state machinery, responsible for collecting information about the common people and passing on instructions from the government], I found more freedom in my environment. People were willing to listen to me and it became easier to clarify the truth.
The above is my personal understanding at my level. Please kindly correct anything inappropriate.