For a while I experienced extremely serious thought karma. In it there were even elements saying awful things about Dafa and Master. I knew part of it was the karma I accumulated as an everyday person for 20 years of my life, yet I also knew that this karma reflecting on my mind was also what the old forces tried to impose on me. I knew that they were going against my will and I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them bit by bit.
When the evil thought karma tried to influence me, I tried hard to stop it in its tracks before it could reflect onto my mind. I noticed that these kinds of thoughts tended to come when I had not passed a xinxing (1) test. They tended to arise when I felt some kind of regret or had everyday people's thoughts of being depressed because of not being able to pass the xinxing test for a long time.
I have come to some understanding about this and would like to share it with others. First, just because we haven't passed a xinxing test, we should never fall into the everyday people's state of depression and lamenting. In reality it is a very destructive state. On the surface, it looks as though we have really looked within to examine the state of our cultivation, as if we have really searched within to see what went wrong. However, there is a difference between cultivator's looking within and everyday people's regretting. Cultivator's looking within is rational and does not go to extremes.
It is possible that this is one of the reasons the evil thought karma could manifest in my mind. The old forces try to make us pass their "tests," and when we do not pass them, they will have us feel that we have done poorly, try to inflict evil thoughts into our minds and try to make us believe that these thoughts are our own.
When I experienced such a situation, I calmed down, closed my eyes and realised that the real me is right here. Those thoughts clearly were not my own, because an everyday person, let alone a practitioner, would never think of such evil, awful things. I knew they were not my own and that the true me had the greatest respect for Master and the greatest respect for Dafa. I often cried when I read about other practitioners describing Master's benevolence. I know in my heart that Dafa is good.
The evil thoughts certainly did not come from myself. I tried to seek out the origin of those evil beings in my mind. I spoke directly to them and said, "I will see how long you can act like this." I had to persist for some time, but after a while, they disappeared.
Secondly, I came to the understanding that whether or not we pass a test, whether or not our levels rise, whether or not our xinxing improves, we should always respect Dafa. When we hang on to elements of "depression," it is like feeling we are not worthy to do anything anymore. To me, this is the same as denying our responsibilities as Dafa practitioners. On another level, it is the same as denying Dafa. We must be very clear that even if we have not passed a test, enlightened to something we felt we should have a long time ago, or even if we feel that we haven't cultivated well, our minds must always respect Dafa.
We have to be clear that the Fa does not change according to our cultivation. Just because we have not done well, we should never allow the old forces any chance to disrespect Dafa. The Fa is always right, whether or not we change ourselves. The Fa-rectification can't be interfered with by any kind of being under any kind of excuse.
Some everyday people have said good things about Dafa, and they know that Falun Dafa is good. Even though they are everyday people and not cultivators, they can still have a certain amount of respect and have a high regard for Falun Dafa. Then what about us as Dafa disciples? Dafa practitioners should clear away all degenerate elements and have a pure heart of respect for Master and Dafa.
I wrote this so that other practitioners who may be experiencing this kind of situation can clearly recognise the fundamental problem and clear it away in a timely manner.
(1) heart or mind nature, moral character