(Clearwisdom.net)

(1) For a while, I often vaguely felt that there was a barrier in front of me on the path of my practice. The barrier prevented me from making significant changes in the most basic things and, hence, held me back in my practice. However, I could not see clearly what this barrier was.

It seemed that during the past two years, I have been working on clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa and saving sentient beings. I was constantly improving myself, but at the same time I felt that there was an invisible shield separating me from Dafa. I felt that I just couldn't have the immense compassion which melts steel and iron like Teacher has said. I also could not give up the everyday people's attachments completely.

I couldn't figure out what caused the problem. Recently while I was meditating, I suddenly enlightened, "the real problem lies in the fact that I have not totally given up egotism and selfishness.

(2) In one recent lecture, Teacher specifically told us the nature of the old universe is selfish and that of the new universe is selfless. From what I understand, being selfish is the common inborn quality of all beings from the old universe, including Dafa practitioners. To truly transcend the old universe during Fa-rectification and become "the most magnificent Gods of the future" and "the exemplary models of the new cosmos" as our Teacher wants us to be ("Falun Buddha Fa- Lecture at the Australia Fa-conference"), the key is to change the nature of being selfish and totally let go of it until nothing is left.

Teacher wants us to "dig out the roots" and "eliminate the last attachment." What are "the roots" and what is the "last attachment?" From my understanding, "the root" and the "last attachment" is the egotism and selfish nature of the old universe. Whether we can dig out "the root" and eliminate the "last attachment" is the final test every Dafa practitioner needs to pass in order to become the "most magnificent Gods in the future." And because it is the final test, it's especially hard to pass.

(3) The nature of being selfish, from the old universe, exists at all levels. This nature has different manifestations in different levels or even within one level. And that is why eliminating egotism and selfishness should be done throughout the entire process of practice and Fa-rectification. In the process, egotism and selfishness is being eliminated little by little, one level after another. A little bit of it is eliminated here but there is still some left there; a little bit is eliminated in this level but there is still more in the next level. Only by constantly eliminating it will we reach consummation.

Another way to look at it is that if the heart of a practitioner is filled with more egotism and selfishness, there will be less room left for the sentient beings and compassion. On the other hand, the less room egotism and selfishness take up, the more room there will be for the sentient beings and compassion. Once a practitioner's heart has no egotism and selfishness and is full of the sentient beings, then this practitioner's heart will be filled with compassion that can melt iron and steel.

Fame, gain, and sentiment are the manifestation of the nature of the old universe in the lowest level, the human dimension. Just like all other practices in history, the practice of Falun Dafa starts with getting rid of attachments to fame, gain and sentimentality. Getting rid of fame, gain and sentimentality are the main features of personal cultivation.

The difference is, after entering the Fa-rectification stage, as the attachments to fame, gain and sentiment are gradually reduced, the attachments toward reaching consummation, attaining mighty virtue, and achieving a position in the new universe become new problems that emerge over a certain period of time. This was also a big problem I encountered in my earlier practice.

After studying the Fa for a period of time, I started to let go of these attachments. However, I still felt there was an invisible wall shielding me from the Fa and I could not feel the immense compassion that Teacher mentioned. Now I have learned that the attachments to fame, gain, sentimentality, reaching consummation and achieving a position in the new universe are all manifestations of the attachment to self. Getting rid of the manifestations is not the same as actually getting rid of the attachment to self.

Compared to how I used to be, I am less attached to personal consummation, mighty virtue and gaining a position in the new universe. However, I am getting more attached to my daily cultivation state. To be more specific, if one day I studied the Fa well, sent righteous thoughts well, did a lot of work in clarifying the truth well, succeeded in doing Fa-rectification work, and eliminated some attachments, I felt really happy and that made my day. On the other hand, if one day I did not study the Fa well, did not send righteous thoughts well, did little work in clarifying the truth, did not succeed in doing Fa-rectification work, or I found new attachments, I felt lost and felt I had wasted my time during the day.

Being in this state, it looks like I have put all my thoughts into the three things Teacher wants us to do, but it's not. Thinking of it this way, I was happy because the state of my practice seemed good, not because there were many sentient beings being saved. I felt lost-- not because the sentient beings were hurt by my not doing well--but because I wasted my time. If, in the past, I was attached to the final result of practice, now I am attached to the current state of my practice. These two states look different, but eventually they all come from self. No matter if it's the feeling or the starting point and end point of my thoughts, they all come from self.

As I write, I find another manifestation of the attachment to self in me: the attachment of maintaining my current state of practice. I used to stumble in my practice path, and I would subconsciously feel that it was truly difficult getting back into the great trend of Fa-rectification and back toward the bright path Teacher arranged for us. At the same time, I was not totally confident in my ability to eliminate the evil and deny the arrangement of the old forces. Hence, I was always worried about making mistakes and ruining what I had achieved in my cultivation status. Because of this, I often put a lot of emphasis into trying not to make mistakes, instead of saving sentient beings. In other words, with respect to myself and the sentient beings, my heart often leaned toward the former. Under this circumstance, though I constantly improved myself, it was never in a great way, and of course and I was way behind the genuine practitioners. The ultimate reason was the attachment to self.

Teacher repeatedly tells us that the purpose of the practice is not to change the surface but one's nature. If the nature stays unchanged, it doesn't matter how significant the surface changes. Take me for example: if my heart is full of egotism and selfishness, how can it have the immense compassion that melts the steel and iron? How can it be part of the Fa?

Only when the heart is full of thoughts for others will it generate immense compassion!

Now I have seen the direction of my future practice.

To conclude, I am copying the last part of Teacher's article "Non-Omission in Buddha nature" for all of us practitioners to improve together,

"your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others--or even future generations--along with Dafa's eternal stability."