(Clearwisdom.net) On my cultivation path, I have tripped and fallen. One such fall lasted three years. I lost my way and "enlightened" along an evil path. For three years, I didn't read Teacher's new articles or Zhuan Falun. In April 2004, I suddenly woke up and started studying Teacher's new articles and Zhuan Falun. Feeling grateful for Teacher's vast Buddha grace, I deeply regretted my evil enlightenment and the loss it caused to Dafa. I realized the urgency of the Fa-rectification and rejoiced that I could come back to Dafa. After a period of studying the Fa, I realized that if I kept on blaming myself I would create another attachment. I must cast aside any human thoughts, actively validate the Fa, save sentient beings, and do the three things well.

After Teacher's articles "Let Go of Human Attachments and Save the World's People" and "In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human" were published, I repeatedly studied and memorized them. Teacher said,

"My Dafa disciples who have strong human thoughts: the path I'm leading you down heads toward godhood, yet some students just tenaciously cling to human notions. ...[I have to ask,] can you really not raise your ultimate understanding of Dafa beyond this human plane?" ("In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human")

My heart was moved whenever I read this part. I asked myself, "Was I this kind of a person? Did I cast aside my fundamental attachment?"

After continuously studying the Fa and reading experience sharing articles on the Minghui website, I suddenly realized that I indeed had fundamental attachments: "selfishness" and "personal gain." In the past I had always assumed that my cultivation was pure and righteous. I got very excited the first time I was enlightened by the Fa. I was so sure it was what I had been waiting for such a long time. I knelt down on the ground, made a Heshi gesture (a traditional Chinese greeting and sign of respect by putting the hands together in front of the chest), and pledged to Teacher, "I will reach consummation." I now realize that the pledge emphasized on the word "I." Whether cultivating myself or validating the Fa, it has been always about me.

Figuring out the fundamental attachments of "selfishness" and "personal gain" helped me see more attachments hidden deeply inside, which I didn't know I had. The key element that hindered my further improvement was the attachment of pursuit, which was mixed in with the notions of "striving forward" and "improvement." I wasn't even aware of their existence.

I had been studying the Fa diligently, reading and memorizing the Fa when there was time, thinking about the Fa on the way to work, or listening to Teacher's recorded lectures while doing household chores. However, what I did was far from Teacher's requirement of gaining the Fa naturally:

"Keep in mind: One should gain things naturally without pursuing them." ("Learning the Fa" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

"A person who truly cultivates will gain things naturally without pursuing them. All of the gong and Fa lie in the book, and one will naturally obtain them by reading Dafa." ("Seeking Discipleship with Teacher" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

In the past I always asked myself, "Have I learned anything new? Have I improved?" Whenever there was an improvement or a new understanding, I became very happy. I even wrote those feelings down in my diary and became very attached to them. The attachment of pursuit could be seen both in my Fa study and cultivation path. Studying the Fa and sharing experiences with fellow practitioners helped me gain more understandings, as if someone was giving me a hand at mountain climbing. I felt the quick improvement and really liked the experience of sharing. This created a new attachment of looking up to "role models."

With the attachment to "role models," I let myself slide down into evil enlightenment. I did not give in under the tremendous pressure when I was detained at a detention center and a brainwashing class. But after I was set free, I looked to those whom I believed cultivated well and were my "role models." When I saw that they also had "enlightened" the same as I did as a result of brainwashing, I believed that their new understandings of the Fa had advanced them to a higher level and that I was left behind. It was funny that I even thought this was an arrangement made by Teacher to let go of my last attachment to "reaching consummation." Through those experiences, I felt it was so important to put aside our human thoughts. Even one attachment can ruin us. I was a good example of it. The attachment of complacency had always been a part of my cultivation, and I was not aware of it. I used human methods to study the Fa and was made to believe that I was always striving forward. In reality, it hindered my improvement.

After discovering those attachments, I feel like a new person. Although I continue to cultivate, validate the Fa, and do the three things, my perspective on things has changed. No matter what I do, I always look inward and ask myself, "Do you have any attachments?" I become alert to my attachments without going to the other extreme. I study the Fa with a calm mind and keep my thoughts clear, clean, and in a state of wuwei (non-action). I no longer look at how other people behave but walk my own path diligently.

The attachment of fear is another big factor preventing practitioners from validating the Fa well. Why do practitioners still cling to it? What do we fear? Why do we fear? Is this attachment so hard to get rid of? In the past, I often begged Teacher to help eliminate my fear. I truly did not want it. Now I realize that the way I looked at things was from a human perspective. My determination to let go of fear was not strong enough. I often kept it with my human notions. Didn't I often think of myself as being timid? Isn't this a human notion? My true self that is formed with "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" should be fearless.

Sometimes passive thoughts sneaked into my mind. For example, I was thinking, "I mustn't let the evil forces catch me. My family has suffered so much. They won't let me go easily next time if more trouble comes." "If I am subjected to terrible tortures, I might not be able to take it and might give in. I'd rather be in a lower cultivation level than ruin this predestined opportunity of cultivation." Those thoughts were human thoughts. It was as if I were giving in to the notion of fear. It was as if I wanted fear to stay in my heart. How could Teacher eliminate this attachment for me? Those passive thoughts were dangerous, as if I were asking the evil to come to me. Evil demons always look for our gaps to be able to interfere. If we cling to "fear," it gives them an excuse to harm us. Then we might truly have to suffer the tribulation.

As I recognized my attachment, eliminated my fear, and validated the Fa, my righteous thoughts gained strength. I recited Teacher's poem, "Rectifying the Colossal Firmament":

"How much longer can the evil run rampant?
Every being's volition is fully revealed.
Who could be outside this calamity?
Looking with a smile, at the Gods being foolish."

I suddenly realized that it is silly not to validate the Fa because of "fear." The cosmos is going through the Fa-rectification. No life can escape. Will you be safe when you are hiding at home? Aren't you given a chance to position yourself? Shouldn't you take responsibility for your eternal life? Does what you do deserve the title of Dafa practitioner? Would you want to miss this predestined opportunity?

I deeply feel Teacher's concern over our non-enlightenment. I really want to shout out to those who still cling to human thoughts, those who are afraid of coming out and validating the Fa, "Don't you know how dangerous your situation is?" The attachment of fear can still bring tribulations. The process of cultivation is the process of letting go of attachments. The old forces see personal cultivation as a practitioner's priority. Letting you see the attachment of fear is to have you let go of it. When you assume staying at home is safe, policemen might come and take you away. When you fear hardships, they might indeed torture you. When you can't let go of life or death, evil demons will make you feel that you have cancer or other severe diseases. Without keeping strong righteous thoughts, it is hard to pass the test. On the contrary, you might take the path of evil enlightenment and act against the Fa. Haven't we seen enough examples?

What is the safest thing? Where is the safest place? I truly feel that steadfastly cultivating Dafa with an unflinching will is the safest! Following Teacher's direction closely is the safest! Validating Dafa is the safest! I also truly understand that we are the most fortunate beings in the universe. In the period of Fa-rectification, Teacher himself saves us. What a glory it is! Shouldn't we fulfill our vows and carry out our responsibilities? Treasure the opportunity! Dafa practitioners who are made with "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" are unshakable and fearless.

Teacher recently published three articles: "Let Go of Human Attachments and Save the World's People," "In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human," and "My Version of a 'Stick Wake-up.'" With the publication of these three articles, I know that Teacher is pushing us forward. Many evil demons have been eliminated, and only a very few left. This situation has made it easier for us to clarify the truth and save sentient beings. Some practitioners still can't see the situation clearly. Isn't it because of the attachment of fear? Doesn't everything happen because of our thoughts? Since I have closely followed Teacher and actively cast aside human attachments, I have advanced my level quickly. My determination to validate the Fa and save sentient beings has been strengthened. Wisdom continues to enlighten me.

Above is my current cultivation experience for your reference.