(Clearwisdom.net) I have cultivated myself in Falun Dafa for seven years. Before cultivation I had many health problems which couldn't be healed by hospitals. After cultivation, Master purified my body. After May 1999, my company didn't allow me to go to work because I practiced Falun Gong. My husband didn't practice Falun Gong. I lost my job, so he placed a lot of pressure on me. Right after that came additional pressure from our residence management committee, local police, district government office, and others. Every tribulation was to test whether I would choose Dafa or an easy human life.

Since July 1999 I did a lot of things under the encouragement of some local practitioners who cultivated well. Gradually the things I did became increasingly larger and more significant. Without my realizing it, many of my hidden attachments, such as to fame and personal gain and the desire to show off, expanded rapidly. It was not until July 2001 when I was captured and sent to a detention center that I started to look inside calmly and genuinely see clearly where my xinxing truly was. Facing enormous pressure and attachments I couldn't let go of, I gave in. The moment I walked out of the detention center I felt like my heart was bleeding, because I had come out not as a result of righteous thoughts and acts but rather like a dog crawling out from its cave. I burst into tears.

After I got out of the detention center, the authorities took me to the Political and Security Department. Several people attacked me as a group, saying that they were giving me another chance to let me tell them some things and betray some fellow practitioners; otherwise I would be sent to a forced labor camp for two years at least, or even up to seven years. A firm thought arose in my heart, "I would absolutely rather spend the rest of my life in prison than do anything contrary to my good conscience. The pain I went through last time was too deep. I now more clearly know that my life has merged with Dafa, that I am a particle of Dafa at a certain level and I know what I should do." I very seriously said, "I can accept my own destruction, but it is absolutely not possible for me to betray my fellow disciples." Upon hearing my words, none of them said a thing and they all went out. After a while they took me to a car. When I found out the car was going in the direction toward my home, I did not feel happy even a tiny bit, but rather my heart was still filled with regret. Not until my neighbor held my hand and cried did I realize, "Oh, I'm back home now."

After going home I kept on staring blankly in pain, missing Master, wanting to see fellow disciples and also wanting to study the Fa very hard. But picking up Zhuan Falun, I dared not read it. Seeing Master's picture again, I had tears running down my face. I thought, "Whether Master wants me or not, even if my life exists for one day I shall unconditionally assimilate to Dafa. No matter what I will be in the future, even a brick, I shall make all the cells in the brick full of Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance." I wanted to send forth righteous thoughts but felt that my xinxing had fallen and it would be useless to do so. But then I thought, "Even if there is no energy, I could still boost my morale by participating. Let the evil see that a Dafa disciple's firm belief in Dafa can never be destroyed."

I had a very hard time studying the Fa in those days. I would cry from time to time when studying because I was too attached to myself. I had wanted to cultivate pretty high and establish more mighty virtue. I had been pursuing this with strong attachments. When I saw that I had fallen to the bottom I couldn't accept it and got trapped by my ego. I even had the willingness to die. Right at that moment I suddenly asked myself, "Have you really let go of life and death? Letting go of life and death has no attachment to the human mentality, including attachment to my own life. If I have genuinely reached selfless compassion, I should have no concept of life and death. Then why would I be attached to this stain on my cultivation and be so concerned with how high I cultivate? Aren't all of us lives in Dafa, whether we are high or low? Aren't we particles at different levels of Dafa? The true meaning of life should not be just the result, rather it should be how to rectify every thought and idea of ours during the process of assimilation to the Fa." Only when a life in Dafa is purified to the degree of selfless compassion is it the true "self", is it genuinely a "life" within the Fa of the cosmos. When I understood the Fa at this level, I felt light-hearted all of a sudden. I returned to my normal cultivation status. It was Master who made me understand the Fa at that level, at a moment when I was ready to die. I went through more than thirty days of painful struggles and eventually I was released from my ego. I gladly said to Master, "I shall use all the energy of my life to save sentient beings."

At that time my child was attending elementary school. I thought that I should clarify the truth to the teacher responsible for my child's class because if she knew the truth she would not poison the students' minds. The third time I went to see her, she requested a copy of Zhuan Falun and I gave it to her. Later, she invited me to her office to have a chat. I clarified the truth about Dafa to the six teachers there. They asked me a lot of questions. I answered all their questions with peaceful and kind smiles. Seeing that they understood the truth, I said to Master in my heart, "Thank you Master for giving me the wisdom." I had only four years of education, but in front of the six teachers, they treated me like a university student.

Once my child's classmate took a booklet a Dafa disciple distributed which contained the truth about the Tiananmen self-immolation incident. The kids who understood the truth helped clarify it. More and more kids started to talk about it and their voices were louder and louder. Eventually the whole class was talking about Falun Dafa. The teacher was just listening quietly, smiling all the time. There was another time the Bureau of Education sponsored a so-called "Advocate Science and Oppose Blind Belief" activity. At the time the teacher didn't know that the purpose of the activity was to defame Falun Gong, so she said to the students, "Today's homework is to write an essay after watching these speeches." After watching the speeches, the teacher didn't ask the students to do the homework. My child gladly said to me after going home, "Mom, our teacher really thoroughly understands the truth of Dafa." The activity administered by the evil regime was a big failure. My child asked Master to help and asked the enlightened side of all disciples to help eradicate the evil. Eventually for the two speakers, one had a broken microphone, while the other forgot his words.

I often asked my child to invite classmates home for truth clarification, including elementary school and middle school classmates, boys and girls; as many as possible. We offered the kids nice snacks and played with them, clarifying the truth along the way. We let them watch truth clarification videos and read our materials. They all understood the truth and said to my child, "Your mom is really nice." Many kids wanted me to be their adopted mother. I hope our fellow disciples who have kids attending school can take good advantage of the opportunity and clarify the truth to their children's classmates. Students have little exposure to society and all their information comes from their schools, so their minds can be easily poisoned. They would go talk to their friends and relatives after understanding the truth.

I went out to clarify the truth almost every day. In the evenings, as long as my husband was not at home I would go out and distribute materials. After clarifying the truth to one beauty shop I would go to the next beauty shop. After clarifying the truth to one laundry shop I would go to the next laundry shop. I also went to various department stores to clarify the truth. There were many people there so I clarified the truth to multiple persons simultaneously, from a few persons to more than ten. Once I was clarifying the truth inside a big department store. The twenty plus people there were all listening quietly and attentively. A security guard and a manager asked some questions that they had doubts about. Some girls even cried while listening. The moment I stepped out of the store I felt my body was so huge that it reached the sky.

Clarifying the truth in the food market was the easiest because I needed to buy food regularly. I clarified facts in four food markets. In the following small example, a dime saved several people. Once when I was buying food I didn't argue about how level the scale was. When it was time to pay they asked me to pay a dime less. I found a dime in my wallet and said to them, "My Master Li Hongzhi taught us to be considerate when doing things. It is not easy for you guys to run this business. I shouldn't pay less than what I owe." He was moved and said, "You are really different from others. When others buy food I let the scale stick up high but when it comes to paying they still always want to pay a little less." The people who were selling cakes and eggs at the side all said, "Just from this little thing, we trust what you said. Your Master must be good."

From this small example I realized that if Dafa disciples themselves do things well in the righteous way, that no matter what they do, they can reflect the demeanor of a Dafa disciple. This itself is clarifying the truth, and this itself will make people understand the truth and know Dafa is good. Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston,"

"There are so many people who think you're great just by having seen how you act."

I'd like to remind fellow disciples, let us never ignore the little details in our daily life.

I started to mail letters to clarify the truth in November 2001. At that time I only had one thought: It would be very good if truth-clarifying letters could be sent to surrounding areas, mountainous area and schools, so that people in the regions where transportation is not convenient can also be saved. So I went to the post office to check if there was such an address book. I reviewed two address books. As there were not many addresses in them and they lacked detail, I did not buy them. After returning home, I thought it over and over, and finally decided that I still needed to buy them and mail as many letters as possible. On the third day I went to the post office again. As soon as I came to the counter, I immediately saw a big and thick national address book, in which the addresses of primary schools and universities, villages and central government departments, including their telephone numbers, postal codes, and names were all listed. I was so happy that I kept saying in my heart: Thank you Master, thank you Master! The sales staff said that the address book had only come the day before, that there were only three copies in the capital city of my province, and it would cost over 300 Yuan. And then they asked me if I would like to buy it. I repeatedly said, "Yes, I would!" I thought that was exactly what I had been looking for, and I would surely buy it no matter how expensive it was.

At the beginning I did not have much experience. Master hinted to me in my dream that my letters were overweight, and as my envelope was too small to hold so many pages, the letter would be easily identified. Then I went to buy some good-quality envelopes with various beautiful designs, and the stamps were also diversified and nice-looking. Later I heard from fellow practitioners that truth-clarifying letters were often confiscated by the staff of post offices. I was not very confident, so I went to a practitioner and asked her to send a letter to me to test if I could receive it. She said to me, "If you use righteous thoughts, negate the old forces, the letters will surely be received." Her words reminded me of something. I thought: All was created for Dafa and was to be utilized by Dafa; everything in the everyday people's society existed for Dafa, and that the post office existed for my sending truth-clarifying mails to save people; so there surely would be no problem at all.

So every day I sent dozens of letters and went to different post offices in different directions. I went at different times of day and avoided repeatedly going to the same post office. Later, the more letters I sent, the purer my heart and the stronger my righteous thoughts became. I thought that since the post office exists for Dafa, why can't I go to send bulk mail in the post office in an open and dignified manner? The post office provides a bulk mail service where no stamps are needed for bulk letters, as the post office stamps on the envelope the words "postage paid", and all that the customers need to do is just pay in advance. In this way, I can send as many letters as I like, and can also save a lot of time. So I started to send over 100 letters each time. Before I went, I would first send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil elements in my own dimension, the environment where I would be, and those behind the staff of the post offices as well as the recipients. Each time it was very smooth. The staff member did not ask anything and only processed the mail. I stood beside, watching him stamp each letter, sort them in a bag and seal it before I left. Once when I only mailed over 60 letters as I was busy, the staff even asked me, "So few?" I knew that Master was hinting and encouraging me, that more such letters that would save people should be sent.

As long as our minds are righteous, Master will create the environment for us. In the first month when I started to mail letters, my life was extremely difficult because it would cost over 1000 Yuan to mail the letters. Furthermore, I needed to pay rent and expenses for a practitioner who was forced into homelessness to avoid further persecution. I ate instant noodles for my meals, which cost 0.50 yuan, and was even reluctant to buy sweets for my child. Once my daughter would not eat her meal, and I asked her why. She said angrily, "Is this called a meal?" My spouse also asked me, "The fridge is empty. Where has your money gone?" I thought calmly, What I'm doing is the most righteous thing. I should have sufficient money. So I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all the evil elements which controlled my spouse to restrain me financially. It is indeed that good or bad comes from one thought. My spouse forgot about ever giving me money, and soon would give me some again. In the end, I got a bank card and could withdraw the money from the account.

4. Changing the mindset, creating the surrounding environment

All practitioners in China have the experience that every time the holidays or the so-called "sensitive days" arrive, the authorities interfere or cause damage. During such times, whenever the policemen or chief of the police station, secretary of neighborhood committee, chief of the administration center or section chief came to my home, my tone while talking to them was very bad, and I treated them as enemies.

Later, through Fa study, I understood that I needed to treat the sentient beings with compassion, and when facing the people controlled by evil, to exhibit more compassion, righteousness and the stateliness of Dafa. Also, it is hard to judge whether certain individuals are able to be saved or not. When my starting point and mindset was righteous, their attitude also changed and they no longer said anything defaming Master or Dafa.

The chief of police spoke disrespectfully of Master in front me. I thought it should not be allowed, so I said to him seriously, "Chief, I respect you very much, but your speaking of my Master this way is worse than abusing my father." Then they changed and referred to Master Li as "your Master". The chief said, "It can be seen from your words that the 'Forbearance' of Falun Gong is so great."

Once the secretary of the neighborhood committee came to my home with the local policeman and said that it was stipulated by their superiors that all Falun Gong practitioners were required to write a so-called "Guarantee Statement" again. I said very peacefully, "Don't deceive yourself any more. Do you know why after many years Dafa practitioners are still so persistent under the coercion? It is because coercion cannot change people's hearts. Dafa practitioners have the most knowledge of whether Dafa is good or not. No one is worthy of brainwashing Dafa practitioners." He said with tears in his eyes, "If you don't write, I will be dismissed from my job. How will my family face it?" I said immediately, "You see how evil Jiang is. He puts pressure on you to persecute us. Isn't this inciting conflicts among people? We are both victims of Jiang. If you are dismissed because of me, there are no human rights in China, and then I'll appeal to the United Nations for you. If anyone further pressures you, please let me know, I'll go to talk to them to seek justice for you." He was touched and said, "I trust you. You are a nice person." Since then, whoever came to my home, I did not regard them as people who came to persecute me. Whatever objectives they have, I just hold one thought: You are someone I should save.

On January 1, 2002, the secretary of the neighborhood committee and the section chief of the administration centre pressed the door bell of my home. My mindset was not very good at that moment, and I did not want to open the door for them. But then I thought: Since you've already come, then I will save you and rectify your attitude. As soon as he stepped into the room, the secretary said, "Today we have come for two things. One is to offer greetings to you for the holiday; the other is we promise that we won't come to you again over Falun Gong matters." They said twice, "You are such a nice person. Through the conversations we've had with you several times, we feel that a good person such as you is difficult to meet nowadays. If we are worthy of being respected by you, let's make friends. In the future, if we come to your home, we will just be friends." Before they left, the section chief said, "After I retire, I'd like to come to you and ask you to teach me to practice Falun Gong." I was pleased that they had righteous thoughts toward Dafa, and also thought that it would not have worked out so well if I had regarded them as evil in the past.

I hope that fellow practitioners will not draw conclusions too soon and say that one cannot be saved if he or she does not know the truth or has done bad things against Dafa practitioners. Instead, we should believe that the compassion and mighty virtue of Dafa can change everything. They have not approached me anymore for Falun Gong matters, not even a phone call. When we have occasionally met, they said hello to me first with great respect.

Reviewing the path that I have walked, it was all the orderly arrangement of Master, who was pushing me and then supporting me to walk ahead. The whole process was of letting go of my selfishness, stepping out of human notions, and exposing my attachments, which had been covered very deeply, to help me to cultivate the diamond-solid will of an enlightened being in the Fa rectification through Dafa. It was to help me temper myself in the tribulations and grow in the hardships, and in the growth my belief in Master and Dafa has become firmer.

Actually, in cultivation, Master just wants our one thought. As long as we have that thought, all is done by Master, while we are only moving at the surface molecular level. My deepest understanding in cultivation is:

"Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master."

(Zhuan Falun, 2000)

Postscript: I feel that during the process of writing I have improved, and I hope sharing my experiences helps fellow practitioners to find their own gaps and to see their own imperfections. Sharing plays a key role in improving together, and at the same time helps the world's people to witness the mighty virtue of Dafa and Dafa practitioners.

Further, I'd like to express my appreciation for the author and composer of the song "Thankful for Master's Compassion", and the authors and composers of other Dafa songs, which have encouraged and helped my child and me on the path of cultivation.

December 15, 2004