(Clearwisdom.net) The Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, published by the Epoch Times systemically and pointedly analyzed and criticized the evil nature of the Communist Party, which prompted me to reflect on the past several decades of my life. I used to think the ideals of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) were devoted to the betterment of humanity. Although I had in effect left the Party in 1997, from the depths of my mind I had never truly cut off my connections to the Party. Today I officially announce that I am withdrawing and completely breaking away from the Party.
I was born in 1937 and grew up drenched in the systemic and twisted lies of the CCP. At the 20th USSR meeting in 1956, Stalin's crimes were exposed and the Communist movement was brought into question around the world. We who were brainwashed by the CCP thought that the CCP was the pillar of the global Communist movement; that it was grand, glorious, and righteous. We mistakenly thought we were on a truth-seeking path, so we decided to completely devote ourselves to the CCP, by first joining the Party.
The anti-rightist movement began in 1957, and intellectuals throughout the country were persecuted. Overnight, my respected teachers and intelligent classmates were turned into "rightists," and I was ordered to criticize and "step" on them. It was a psychologically profound, traumatic experience. I could not sleep at night and could not figure out why this much praised "great, glorious and righteous" regime that represents the "ideals of humanity" could carry out such brutal persecution, comparable to Stalin's ruthless purges.
In this atmosphere of terror I had no choice but to "reform" myself and obey the Party. I was deeply concerned for the future of our people. I knew that conscientious and truth-seeking intellectuals had nothing but persecution awaiting them. Those who survived either unthinkingly believed in the Party's lies, or betrayed their conscience. I was shocked by this reality but felt powerless. I could not find a way out and I couldn't see any hope, so I struggled in anguish.
Immediately following were the "Liberation of the mind" and the "Great Leap Forward." These fanatical movements provided a distraction from the painful memories. I enthusiastically participated in the movements that encouraged people to "dash into Communist heaven at the cost of 20 years of life," in an attempt to find comfort for my heart. Peng Dehuai was suppressed for his honest 10,000-word letter. The death of 30 million from starvation between 1959 and 1961 failed to awaken us. Hungry, ill, and with edema all over from malnutrition, we worked day and night, believing China was the center of a world revolution, and that we were saving the world from impending disaster.
Ten years of Cultural Revolution completely destroyed traditional Chinese culture, and the society was turned upside down. The economy was completely paralyzed. Although we were still shouting slogans, we knew in our hearts that we were heading toward inevitable destruction. The whole country resembled a desert and a war zone. More than 20 years of life experiences helped me see the true nature of the CCP, and I began to think about the meaning of life.
After the "Gang of Four" was destroyed, I thought reform and opening-up policies could perhaps help us, although they could not restore our completely destroyed culture and morality. I thought, " They [reform and opening-up policies] must be better than complete chaos and endless fighting." With a flicker of hope I told myself to leave all the past wounds alone and use my remaining strength to serve the society.
The tanks on Tiananmen Square in 1989 again crushed my dreams, as once again the CCP exposed its vile and cruel nature to the world. Sadly, the CCP used the money and resources--the fruits of the Chinese people's hard work that were meant for the development of society--to kill unarmed citizens. Even today, 15 years after the Tiananmen Square massacre, those horrific scenes are still alive and vivid in my mind's eye. I asked myself, "Is there really no salvation for our people and our nation?"
In 1992 I was blessed to obtain Falun Dafa. I learned the greater truth of the universe and was able to rid myself of the anguish and burdens from the ghoulish past. I decided to conduct myself according to Truth-Compassion-Forbearance, become a good person, and pursue self-improvement and a higher caliber existence. Falun Dafa gave me a new life.
Jiang Zemin, however, out of his jealousy, mobilized the whole government machinery in an attempt "to annihilate Falun Gong in three months." More than five years later, Jiang is now facing lawsuits in many countries around the world, including the U.S. and France, while Falun Gong, seen by Jiang as a log in his eye, is spreading ever more widely after five years of persecution.
I believe that the Chinese people who are my contemporaries, those who had the same ideals as I and had similar experiences, have gone through the same thinking process and have paid as heavy a price as I have. Let us draw our own conclusions from studying the Nine Commentaries and see the Party for what it is--an evil creature.
I hereby solemnly announce that I withdraw from the Communist Party.
Written by Ye Hao in North America