(Clearwisdom.net) I call myself "Gratitude." I feel that this name suits me, as
I am so grateful to Master and Dafa!
At age of six I developed a strange disease. At first my stomach felt uncomfortable, and then the pain reached all my toes. The pain was unforgettable. It was deep in the bones. Every time the symptoms flared up, I screamed and cried, and was unable to bear it. My parents took me to doctors, but they had no clue what the problem was. The pain deepened while I was growing up. It spread from my feet to my lower legs, my whole legs, and even my arms. My parents went to many places to seek doctors' advice, but none of the doctors knew what was afflicting me. I took loads of medicines, but nothing worked. The disease quickly spread to my whole body. My arms and legs developed the same uneasiness that I felt in my stomach at the beginning. The symptoms occurred more often than before. It felt as if millions of ants were digging into my bones. It was unbearable. I begged my mother many times, "Just let me die!" My mother cried and felt helpless.
It was not only physical pain, but also a mental stress. My disease was so strange that no one had ever seen it before. When I did not have the symptoms, I looked no different from a healthy person. The symptoms usually occurred during the night. Those who did not know about my symptoms thought I was pretending to be sick! Because of this disease, since the 2nd Grade, I went to school only part-time, sometimes attending school for only a week during a whole semester. Most of my friends, neighbors, and even relatives thought that I was pretending to be sick in order to skip school. Later even my mother had doubts; "He was fine on Sunday, so why did he suddenly become ill on Monday?" My mother was convinced that I was pretending! That day, she took a broom and hit me hard. I wanted to die.
I was on the verge of mental collapse due to the physical pain and the misunderstanding from others. I cried, and wrote a long letter to my mother. In the letter I wrote, "If I really were pretending, why would I take the medicine and have those injections? If I didn't have a disease, it would have been known." Later I was told that tears flooded down my mother's face after she read the letter.
After that incident, my parents were determined to find a cure for me. We went to many hospitals in big cities. Still no one knew the cause of the disease. Medicine did not work. The symptoms were worsening. My hands and feet would sometimes start to shake uncontrollably while my breath became labored. A little noise could startle me, causing the symptoms to return. People around me had to talk softly. My mother wouldn't let me to go outside. I officially quit school.
Day by day, I lived in this ordeal. When we could not find any other alternative, my mother, who had almost given up all hope, took me to see one healer after another, in hopes of curing my disease. Every one of them said there was a mysterious force behind my back, which they couldn't subdue. They also said that in the future I would have the ability to treat illnesses just like them.
My parents certainly didn't buy it. My hope of survival seemed to be no more. No one knew what to do. Over the years, I suffered all kinds of hardships, taking various medicines, and undergoing numerous examinations. Once, a doctor stuck a needle into a pressure point that corresponded to the nerves of my leg. The needle was connected to an electric current. The pain I felt was worse than the symptoms themselves.
To treat my disease, my parents spent nearly all their savings. In the process, I became semi-illiterate with only an elementary-level education.
At one time, I hid myself, and was afraid of going outside. People all looked down on me. I was even teased to my face. They said that I pretended to be sick to skip school, and I was a freak. Even my uncle once said to me, "The family has a few acres of farm land, why don't you do the farm work from now on." To cope with all those things, I created a psychological barrier around me. I became very sensitive, and saw myself as inferior to others. A simple remark from somebody could easily hurt my feelings. I hid myself all them time and did not meet anyone. Sometimes I thought, "I wish I would get hit by a car." I despised this world for its coldness. I did not talk or go out, and lived a life without purpose.
In 1997, my mother started to practice Falun Gong, and she asked me to practice with her. I was a 12-year-old kid without any concept of cultivation in my mind. So I refused her, preferring taking medicine.
Then the persecution started on July 20, 1999. This me made it even more difficult for me to obtain the Fa, until 2004, when my sister got cervical vertebra disease, which caused half of her body to be paralyzed. My mother persuaded her to practice Falun Gong. Not long after she began, her illness was gone. I was then convinced that Dafa was good. I wasn't against them practicing, but I couldn't figure out why they always wanted me to practice with them. Every time they mentioned practicing together, I got angry. I did not know why I was so angry. Fearing they would trigger my symptoms by upsetting me, they did not keep insisting that I join them.
At the end of last year, something strange happened. Suddenly, I could not eat meat, green onion, ginger, or garlic. Simply smelling these things made me feel nauseous. I had no clue why it was so. I thought that I might have a liver disease. But a physical examination showed that my liver was healthy. I wondered what happened. My mother asked me to cultivate. Impatiently, I refused again. I didn't know why, but I just didn't want to do it. The pain was getting worse. The symptoms came back again. My mother took me to a practitioner's home. The practitioner asked me to read through Zhuan Falun. I agreed.
That same night, I began to learn the exercises from my mother. The next day, I started to read Zhuan Falun. I realized many things from reading the book. I realized that I might have had spirit possession in the past. Also I realized the reason that I was unable to eat meat. Even though I didn't cultivate, Master was already looking after me. My heart gradually became peaceful.
After that, I learned all five exercises and read "Hongyin," Essentials for Further Advancement, and Master's other writings. I felt I was becoming a Dafa practitioner. I finally said goodbye to the sickness that plagued me for so many years, and felt the joy of good health. The most important thing was that I had never known the meaning of human life, and always felt that life had no purpose. Now, I understand many things, including the real meaning of human life. Dafa has all the answers. Master is here to save sentient beings. I realize the sacredness of Dafa and the vast compassion of Master. I thank Master for saving me. At the same time, I realize the persecution against Falun Gong is so violent and brutal, but Dafa practitioners are indomitable.
Dafa has given me health, peace and patience, and Dafa has given me wisdom and a new life. How can I not be grateful?
However, many people are still living in confusion. Clarifying the truth is every Dafa practitioner's responsibility. I wrote my experience to help more people awaken from the confusion.
My personal experience has proven the amazing power of Dafa and the greatness of Master.