(Clearwisdom.net)
"Rest momentarily for self-reflection, add righteous thoughts
Analyze shortcomings explicitly, advance again wholeheartedly"
(From "Be Rational, Awaken" in "Hongyin" II, unofficial translation).
Only after properly examining the path that I traveled and the tribulations I experienced could I take the right path of Fa-rectification from this point on. After I read experience-sharing articles on the Minghui website, I realized that I did not have a clear understanding of the path that I had traveled and the tribulations that I had suffered, as I had never seriously thought them over.
Master said,
"You should also be clear that "natural" does not exist, and "the inevitable" has reasons behind it. In fact, "natural" is irresponsibly used by everyday people to make excuses for themselves when they are unable to explain the phenomena of the universe, life, and matter. They cannot imagine what "nature" itself is. Under the influence of this kind of notion you think that all these tribulations are inevitable and that this is just the way it is, thereby developing a passive and pessimistic attitude. So your human side must stay aware. More importantly, your side that has attained the Fa must be clear."
("Expounding on the Fa" from Essentials for Further Advancement I).
I have realized that I need to look to myself for answers about the persecution that I have endured in the past few years. I remembered that in the early stages of the persecution in 1999, under extreme pressure, I wrote a repentance letter in an unrighteous state of mind. As a result, when I went to Beijing to appeal, I was illegally detained for seven days. During that detention, I remember saying "I quit the practice." Then I was detained for 10 more days after I returned to Nanjing. After I was released, under intense pressure, I wrote three "self-criticizing" reports and cooperated with the authorities' arrangements. I was deprived of the right to work for fifteen months, and my company almost fired me. In early 2001, when I got my job back in my company, I wrote another self-criticizing report and cooperated with the authorities by making a public speech a month later. They publicized my speech without my knowledge, which had a negative impact at certain levels, and I was forced to leave my post. In April 2001, I cooperated with the authorities and wrote another fuzzy repentance letter. As a result, in the following two years I was treated unfairly at work. In June 2003, I wrote an open letter to the management of my company stating my determination to practice Falun Gong and the fact that I had never actually quit the practice. The letter got quite a bit of attention from my company leaders, who compromised. After that, I got a computer and could freely access the Internet. I was also returned to my previous post, and my job benefits improved. In August 2003, due to my lack of understanding, I again cooperated with the evil and wrote another vague report. The result was that people gave me trouble and did not let me get on the Internet.
In November 2003, my solemn statement was made public. My work in my company began to be smoother. I could freely visit Minghui.net in my office and did not encounter any interference.
This is my brief experience in the past few years. Now I realize that the reason I was persecuted was that I cooperated with the evil and did what I should not have done. I caused myself these tribulations. When I met the requirements of Fa-rectification, the tribulations disappeared. Only when we do well with the three things requested by Master will we be able to break away from the interference and tribulations.