Shared at the 2005 New York Falun Dafa Conference
(Clearwisdom.net) Good morning. I am a relatively new practitioner of two and a half years. I have attended several other Fa conferences and the possibility of sharing my cultivation experiences had come up in the past. I always chose not to participate, telling myself and others that I did not really have much of significance to share. This actually was not the case. As with other practitioners, the impact of Dafa on my life has been tremendous. My reluctance to share was an attachment I have been struggling with about being highly publicly visible. Although this problem (and the ego issues involved with it) has improved greatly during my cultivation time, it needs to be continuously addressed because in order to do my work both as a practitioner clarifying the truth and as a director of a medical center in the everyday world, it is necessary for me to be in the public eye. So, I appreciate this opportunity to share some experiences with my fellow practitioners.
This past May there was an important conference at the University of Taipei in Taiwan entitled, "Chinese Science and Culture." This event was hosted primarily by a group of Dafa practitioners for the purpose of providing a scholarly forum to allow both practitioners and non-practitioners to present on modern applications of ancient Chinese culture. The topics presented were wide ranging, including a few presentations that scientifically validated some of Master's writings. The event was very well attended by students and faculty, including the President of the University and department chairs. I was invited to present on a technique that alleviates emotional and physical distress in everyday people through the use of a combination of classic Chinese medicine and Western techniques. The uniqueness of the intervention made it of interest to the program committee, and there was also an interest in having Dafa practitioners as presenters.
When initially invited to participate, I was highly resistant to make the trip, even though I was encouraged to present by close colleagues who are Falun Dafa practitioners. I immediately thought about how inconvenient the whole thing would be. I would have to get airline tickets; once there I wouldn't know anyone; I don't speak the language; I didn't know what I would do with my time there, what I would eat, and so on. In addition, it didn't seem that I was getting financial reimbursement for my presentation, which I was not accustomed to.
Reluctantly, I decided that going was the "right thing to do for Dafa." In that moment I had forgotten Master's words that when we are doing correct things, it is not for Him or Dafa, but for ourselves. However, I was reminded of that fact repeatedly, both during and after the trip. As an aside, I had not been inclined to visit Taiwan from a vacation perspective, so I planned a few days afterwards in nearby Hong Kong as a "treat" for the perceived drudgery of having to go to this conference.
When I went to book airline tickets, I was not able to find a way to use my frequent flyer miles, and I couldn't find an affordable business class ticket. This was a big concern of mine since I am very tall and dreaded the idea of being in a small, confined seat for such a long period of time. Clearly, this was an attachment, and I finally realized that I had to recognize it as such. So, when I let go of the attachment and went to book my coach class ticket (being unwilling to pay several thousand dollars for a business class ticket), the airline informed me of a special promotion they were running that made a business class ticket a fraction of the regular price. I decided to let this experience be the theme for the trip; I would try my best not to be attached to any particular outcome and just roll with the way things worked out.
The day of departure came, and after about 24 hours of traveling I arrived in Taipei. Prior to being a practitioner, such a trip would have really exhausted and stressed my body. However, I got off the plane feeling refreshed and filled with energy.
I was the keynote speaker at the large Science and Culture Conference at the University of Taipei. I was concerned that the audience would not understand my presentation because it wasn't in Chinese and I was very unsure about how I would accomplish the demonstration part of the presentation. My ego and unresolved need to look good and not embarrass myself began to simmer. Again, I tried to get back in the mindset of a practitioner and did my best to not be attached to a particular outcome and just "go with the flow."
A practitioner attending the conference volunteered to translate my slides into Chinese and to summarize the content of my talk to the students and faculty that didn't speak English. Things went fairly smoothly, and the presentation was very well received. In addition, I again had the opportunity to interact with the Taiwan press. This part of the trip was important for my responsibility to clarify the truth.
The most poignant part of the trip for me was interacting with a large group of Falun Dafa practitioners in the midst of their lives in the everyday world. It was a beautiful and touching experience. Culturally I was in a place where Dafa was highly prevalent and accepted, and it was enriching to see how everyone benefited from that being the case. Moreover, my sometimes narrow thinking about how Dafa principles could not be well integrated into a scholarly university forum was broadened. The fact of the matter is that truth is truth, and historically there have always been those who want to hear it. Seeing students practicing the morning exercises outside and reading Zhuan Falun made me think about how such a thing might be accomplished in the United States and elsewhere. I light-heartedly said to one of the students, "How did you get so lucky as to wind up at a university that openly practices Falun Dafa?" He smiled and replied, "Arranged by Master." That one simple sentence reminded me of Teacher's powerful, benevolent presence in our lives, even when our thinking has strayed. The aura of peacefulness that veteran Dafa practitioners emitted while I worked with them in their daily lives was an inspiration and became a personal goal to work towards.
After a few short days, my visit in Taiwan was over. I departed for my jaunt to Hong Kong for what was originally conceived of as the "vacation" portion of the trip. That concept of "vacation" is such an everyday human notion. The implication is that one must escape to some external destination in order to de-stress and better cope with life. Anyway, that was how I used to view vacations. What I realized from this trip to Taiwan was that my "vacation" had just occurred. I realize that a part of me did not want to leave, and, in fact, I have ever since treasured the experiences and connections made there.
My brief time in Hong Kong was certainly pleasant enough, and it was very nice to see the large Buddha on Lantua Island that Master had visited. However, the experience of this so-called vacation did not feed my inner self as did being immersed in the process of Fa-related activities in the previous days in Taipei. This reminded me that there is no external reward, whether it be money, a thing, a place to visit, etc., that can compare to the internal, beautifully harmonious and congruous feeling that comes with acting in accordance with the nature of our true selves. Teacher reminds us that, when we do so, we are not doing it for Him or for Dafa, but for ourselves. And, by doing so, we also increase our potential to save other sentient beings. Master also tells us that in our cultivation we will not really be made to lose much (in the physical world). Yet, the gain of living in accordance with the principles that define our original true selves has a reward that cannot be measured in human terms. It also has been my experience that the more I have been able to adhere to the tasks of cultivation, the more I am on a different kind of "vacation," the kind that allows me to "vacate" the sick, poisonous aspects of my nature and reconnect more fully to my essence that is rooted in the Fa. I sometimes have the perception that the road is endless and that I am failing miserably. Yet, when I look back, I am sometimes astounded, remembering the way my brain used to think and the way my body used to feel. I am so grateful for all that our Master gives and overwhelmed by nothing he asks for in return.
These thoughts are merely a representation of my limited understanding of things; I humbly request that my fellow practitioners correct any inaccuracies.