(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1998. Before that, I had many diseases and so did my husband. After I started practicing, all our diseases were gone. It was truly "one practices, the whole family benefits." Master saved my family, and I am very grateful. After the persecution started in July 1999, I went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong. I was jailed and harassed.
1. Without the first step, the journey won't start.
I still remember that I had a great deal of fear when I went out to distribute truth-clarification materials for the first time. My legs were shaking, and my clothes and hair were soaked with sweat. Clarifying the truth face to face was even scarier to me. All of sudden, I found new and great respect for those fellow practitioners who clarify the truth with dignity and no fear. To make my heart get used to this situation, I started clarifying the truth to my family members, colleagues and neighbors.
Once my mother-in-law had to stay in the hospital to get well, which gave me a chance to clarify the truth in her hospital room. The person in the same room with my mother-in-law looked like a police officer. After talking to him, I learn that he indeed was a policeman. He told me that his job used to be dealing with Falun Gong practitioners, but that now he was no longer in charge of it. Although it was my first time facing a policeman, I didn't think too much about it. The only thought in my mind was that he was also a sentient being who needed to be saved. So I clarified the truth to him without fear. I told him about the benefits that Falun Gong had brought to myself and the country and how Falun Gong had spread all over the world. I clarified the truth of the staged self-immolation incident and told him how brutally Jiang's gang tortures Falun Gong practitioners. I asked him if he, too, had beaten practitioners with electric batons. He said he had not. I said that, even if he didn't do it directly, if he had asked a criminal to do it, his sin would be even bigger. Finally he told me that he already understood everything. He had three sisters taking care of him, and all three sisters complimented me on being a kind person.
Before this I had had the notion that all policemen were evil and difficult to be saved. But through this experience, I realized that as long as I clarify the truth with my heart and rectify my own mind, everybody is salvageable. Master is with us, arranging things for us at every moment.
2. Stepping forward gradually but trying my best
When clarifying the truth, although I could feel that my level had improved gradually, I still could not talk to strangers face to face calmly, and I still could not get rid off my fear. So, I decided to improve little by little, trying my best.
When clarifying the truth with fellow practitioners, I never dared to start a conversation with strangers, and I never knew where to start, but another practitioner did it very well. She could always start a conversation with people from all walks of life and was always able to lead the topic to clarifying the truth about Falun Gong. So I sent forth righteous thoughts next to her, and sometimes I also added in some points. Just like learning how to swim, I stepped forward little by little, and gradually I was able to swim further without fear.
After we had cooperated for a period of time, the effect was very good. The fear in my heart faded out gradually, and I am now able to talk to strangers without hesitation. My ability to clarify the truth got smoother and smoother. It is my greatest good fortune to see the faces of those who learn the truth and to see how much they cherish the Falun Dafa handouts. Some even ask for more for their families. Seeing this, the exhausting feeling at the end of the day is also gone.
Master told us in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference,"
"You know, why is it that many things, many attachments, can't be removed just like that? Why is it so hard? I've always told you that particles make up particles level by level from the microcosm all the way to surface matter. If you took a look in the extreme microcosm at the material formed by what your mind is attached to, [you'd see that] they are mountains, huge mountains, made of hard, granite-like rock, and once they are formed there's simply no way for a human being to move them."
"...you yourself have to cultivate it away. There are many things that you can't do but that Master can. And so how does Master do them? It's not like as soon as we come into contact I'll remove them. When your righteous thoughts are firm and when you can repel those things, I remove them for you bit by bit; however much you can do, that's how much I remove for you and diminish for you."
I think the attachment of fear is also a huge mountain. If we just stay at home thinking that we don't have what it takes, instead of dispelling it with our righteous thoughts, or at least trying our best to get rid of it, how can Master remove it for us?
3. Getting mature gradually and validating the Fa with dignity
I go out with fellow practitioners to clarify the truth every day. We walk dozens of miles every day, and we've been everywhere in the city, countryside, and suburbs. We talk to people who are on duty on the streets, the newspaper sellers, the bicycle repairers, drivers, cashiers in grocery stores, barbers, people in the park, in shopping centers and supermarkets. We talk to both adults and kids. We talk to dozens of people each day.
Now, to me, the specific environment no longer matters, and I am able to clarify the truth everywhere. All situations are convenient for me. We have validated Dafa everywhere, and everything so far has been smooth for me and my fellow practitioners. Looking back to the first time I passed out flyers and the situation at that time, I was trembling with fear and sweating. I found that it is just like Master says in Zhuan Falun,
"Why don't you give it a try when you return home. When you are overcoming a real hardship or tribulation, you try it. When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible. If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: 'After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!'"
I want to share my experience with those fellow practitioners who have not stepped out yet.