(Clearwisdom.net) It has often struck me during my cultivation how our attachments are constantly pointed out to us and how they re-surface in different shapes and manifestations at different levels of our cultivation. Sometimes we correctly think that we have left them behind, but just as often they will resurface in a different form and cause more problems in our cultivation.
I think that my own biggest attachment was my fascination with good literature. Books have always provided an escape and a safe refuge for me. I have loved to read since I was in second grade. I read books while I was growing up, and had the time to do so, almost to the exclusion of everything else. Very often, I preferred books to spending time with friends and family. I was interested in a wide range of authors, although I was never interested in any oriental authors and was therefore totally unfamiliar with oriental thinking. It now occurs to me that many of my favorite authors wrote about human suffering and redemption via the universal principles of "Truth, Compassion and Tolerance".
As I grew older and busier and had my own family, I had little time left to read for pleasure. It was all I could do to try and keep up with the reading I was required to do as part of my job and studies. Still, whenever I had trouble at work or with my family, I knew that I could always get a good book from the library and it would immediately transport me to a more interesting realm. I would anticipate reading the book at night after work and household duties, and that thought alone would make me feel better. However, because I was so busy with my job and duties at home, I never wasted any time on what I considered 'bad literature'. I would read the first two pages of a book, decide whether it was well written and interesting and if I didn't think it was worth my time, I would go on to the next book.
In retrospect, it was a big surprise that I even finished reading Zhuan Falun, which was recommended to me in 2001. Initially, I couldn't make heads or tails of the book. In my state of mind at the time, I didn't have a favorable opinion of its literary merits, and I couldn't accept its message. Except for the ideas relating to "Truth, Compassion, Tolerance", I didn't believe any of it at the time. I was totally dismissive of concepts such as the third eye, spirit possession, clairvoyance, supernormal abilities, and prehistoric cultures. My preconceived human notions were indeed strong and it didn't seem like I was likely to change them. What amazed me was that I actually stuck with the book. I did not put it away after only two pages, as I would have done with any other book that didn't appeal to me. At the time, I didn't realize that I had just overcome my first major attachment: Without noticing it, I had discarded my previous notions about what constituted 'literature worth reading'.
Of course, I no longer have any misgivings about the book or its content. I am comforted to know that Teacher anticipated that people like me might react negatively initially, because he has said in Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun:
"Eliminating karma means eradicating it and transforming it. Now of course the karma won't go for it, so people have tribulations and they have obstacles. But thought-karma can directly interfere with a person's mind, and so he might silently swear at the teacher or swear at Dafa, or maybe he'll have some evil thoughts and bad words. When this happens, some cultivators get confused about what's going on, and they think that those are their thoughts. And then there are people who think it's possession, but it's not. It's caused by the thought-karma reflecting into their brains. Some people's master consciousnesses aren't strong, and so they go along with the thought-karma and do bad things. They're done for, and they fall. But most people can use their strong minds (their strong master consciousnesses) to get rid of it, to fight it. That shows that this guy can be saved, and that he can tell good from bad, and it means that his comprehension is good. My Law Bodies will help him remove most of that thought-karma. This situation is pretty common. When it comes up, it all depends on whether the person can overcome these bad thoughts. When you can stay steadfast we can eliminate karma."
According to my limited understanding, Teacher is not holding our initially negative attitude against us if we eventually manage to deny these thoughts by maintaining a strong master consciousness. Teacher is indeed most compassionate!
To continue with my story: Soon, it became clear that it was necessary for me to remove more attachments and previously acquired notions because I was told that I should read the book again if I wanted to make progress in my cultivation. I balked at that notion for a long time. You see, in the past, I never took the time to read the same book twice. It wasn't necessary because I believed that I was smart enough to understand everything the first time around. Besides, who ever said that I wanted to "cultivate?" At first, I didn't even know what that term really meant and when I finally did understand, I didn't believe it was possible.
After my first year of practice, I had read the book only three times and I still hadn't accepted much of its message. Although I still didn't believe much of it, I did realize how profoundly it had changed my life. I had been very "religious" during my childhood but my religion hadn't really impacted my daily life. I had realized this when I effortlessly abandoned all my childhood religious beliefs and became an agnostic without experiencing a void in my life as a young adult. All of a sudden, here was a spiritual practice in which I did not even believe and, as long as I followed its simple principles, it had the power to fundamentally change my life. I found this to be simply stunning. After my second year of practice and several more readings of the book, I started to at least consider the possibility that it might be true, although I was still skeptical. In spite of my doubts, I was always careful to follow its teachings because I had no doubts at all about their power and effectiveness. Again, without noticing that this was happening, I was continually shedding my attachments to my previous understanding of how the world worked.
When I once explained my initial critical attitude towards Zhuan Falun to another practitioner, he immediately suggested that I should use my tendencies towards literary criticism to positive effect and that I should volunteer to help with the Clearwisdom website. When I started polishing rough Chinese-English translations provided by Chinese practitioners, I quickly realized how many of my attachments were being challenged during the course of this work.
First, I had to start adjusting my schedule to fit the team's objectives rather than just working when it was "convenient" for me, i.e., I had to lose my attachment to personal comfort.
Second, I often received articles that I judged to be poorly structured and had to keep reminding myself to only change the English grammar and spelling. Although it sometimes insulted my sense of literary style, it was not my job to change the outline or the organization of the story. I needed to restrain myself from "improving" the article too much. In addition, sometimes I don't agree with the content of the article. I think the author has an improper perspective of the Fa, is too zealous, has too many attachments to being a writer, is too verbose, uses too many adjectives, or is not telling the story in chronological order.
Thus, I am constantly challenged to shed my attachment to my own superior judgment of what constitutes good writing. My polishing job serves to remind me continuously that the articles published on the Clearwisdom website are not simple "news reports" or even "literature." Rather, they constitute the living history of Falun Dafa, written with the blood and tears of practitioners in China.
The translators, polishers and editors working on these articles need to be aware of the significance of their work and we all need to take care not to insert too much of our own identities and previous notions into pieces written by practitioners at all different levels of cultivation. As Master says in 'Lunyu' (Zhuan Falun), the Fa "encompasses everything, omitting nothing". In our work for Clearwisdom, we also need to strive to encompass everything, omitting nothing. We need to leave our own previous notions behind as much as possible, in order to allow the writers' understanding of the Fa to emerge from their words. We also need to write our own stories to transmit our own understandings which are also part of the whole. The complete story will emerge when we have all made our contributions in words or deeds.