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Realizing My Attachments through Fellow Practitioners' Compassion

March 7, 2006 |   By Dafa practitioner Xiao Bao

(Clearwisdom.net) Master said, "Mercy can dissolve heaven and earth, bringing about Spring ("Fa Rectifies the Cosmos, Hong Yin II, Provisional Translation"),

I have deeply felt the truth of Master's words through my interaction with fellow practitioners. Other practitioners' compassion and kind acts not only touch my heart but also serve as great lessons, which help me to step out of the state of selfishness and self-serving acts. They helped me to better melt into Fa-rectification cultivation.

Because I am younger than most practitioners, other practitioners see me as a "young" practitioner. After Communist agents arrested my Dafa-practicing family members I lived alone for a while. Later, a practitioner who was a stranger to me learned of my circumstances through other practitioners in my family. He brought two bags of rice, a bottle of oil and many loaves of bread to my home. He told me that other practitioners had paid for it, and it was a small gift from all of them. Looking at the things he brought I could only think that Master had arranged for him to send them to me. I thanked him, but I actually thought, "That's a lot! This food should last for quite a while!" He smiled and said they were glad to do this and asked about my future plans. Now that I look back, I was really selfish, and I truly thought fellow practitioners should have done it. I did not even say a heartfelt "thank you!" Their compassion, however, touched me deeply.

I went to live with practitioner Yun for some time. Yun's family members were also persecuted and sent to a labor camp, and it wasn't easy for her to take care of a new-born baby completely on her own. She asked me, "Xiao Bao, do you need money?" I immediately answered, "No, I have money!" I was really touched by her words. Her voice was very kind, and I felt that she was afraid that her question might hurt my pride. I really wanted to cry and couldn't bring myself to take her money.

Once, some practitioners came to visit Yun and were happy to see me there. They were very concerned about my family and gave me 200 yuan before they left. They told me to give the money to my family when visiting them, and that it was a small gift from fellow practitioners. I tried to politely refuse it but in the end I accepted the money. I thought, "I don't make any money; besides, other practitioners are expressing their concern with this money." Yun refused to take the money other practitioners tried to give her. After they left, I said to Yun, "They meant well by offering you money. Why didn't you take it?" Yun simply said, "It's not easy for other practitioners, either!" I was so ashamed after I heard it, but at the same time I was moved by the practitioners' compassion. I never thought about how other practitioners lived their lives, how they earned their money, whether they had any difficulties, and whether they needed help. I thought in my self-centered way that, because my family was persecuted, I needed help more than anyone else. I never thought twice before accepting money and things from fellow practitioners and didn't even think much of it. How self-absorbed I was!

From then on, fellow practitioners' compassion always stayed with me. Once when I went to my aunt's home my aunt told me that one practitioner gave me money, and another practitioner gave me things, and she decided to give the money to my family when visiting them. I said to my aunt, "We can't spend other practitioners' money. We have to return every single cent other practitioners have given us, because it's not easy for them, either." I told her of the incident at Yun's home; she didn't agree right away. Later, when I again went to her home my aunt said to me, "A practitioner again tried to give you money through me but I refused to take it. I said 'I appreciate your good intention, but I can't take your money.' I have recorded all of the money other practitioners have given us. We'll return all of it in the future." I was touched. In fact, fellow practitioners' compassion cleansed the filthiest things in my heart, and I passed on the kindness to touch others.

I learned about the widespread Fa study groups on the Minghui website. Practitioner Yin told me that she hoped I would come to a Fa study group. I was happy because I thought that other practitioners trusted me. Later I was controlled by fear, and various bad notions surfaced, such as not wanting to have trouble, fear of being followed, and fear of whether this was going to work. I was reluctant the first time I went there and realized that my attachments were interfering with me after I got there. I missed two group study sessions. The interference was tremendous when I tried to go again, but I ignored it and still went. I told Yin about the interference I had encountered and she said to me, "Actually, each time you didn't come all of us asked, 'How come Xiao Bao isn't here?'" I felt a warm current going through my body. Other practitioners had always cared for me, and yet I wasn't aware. Instantly, all of the elements that prevented me from going to group Fa study disintegrated amidst the compassion of fellow practitioners. I think that I will keep going to group Fa study. I will do better with Master's protection and the compassion of fellow practitioners.