(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher talked repeatedly about the situations of students who were exhibiting symptoms of illness in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles:"
"When your righteous thoughts are strong you can resolve any problem."
"Dafa disciples who have strong righteous thoughts and whose faith becomes only more steadfast after they grasp Fa principles will make it through any trial."
"Now it's up to you to battle through tests with righteous thoughts."
Recently I went through such a trial.
During the night of April 19, I suddenly felt that I had a fever and my whole body was sore. It was difficult to move and I felt weak. I was too sleepy to open my eyes, and I fell asleep as soon as I lay down on my bed. When I woke up, I was freezing, and even two thick layers of quilts didn't help me warm up. I could not urinate when I needed to. I felt pain in my urethra, and there was blood in my urine.
I thought in my heart, "I have experienced 10 years of all kinds of hardships since 1996, when I first obtained the Fa. What I am experiencing is definitely not illness. But why am I experiencing such a severe state? There must be loopholes and gaps in my cultivation for the old forces to take advantage of. Where are those gaps?" Following Teacher's teaching, I looked inside myself, tracked the gaps down by following clues, and dug deep for each one. Finally I found out that I had an attachment of zealotry when everything was smooth in my work in helping others quit the Chinese Communist Party, an attachment of complaint when I was sneered at or met setbacks, an attachment of time when hoping for a quick ending for the Fa rectification, the competitive mentality, the mentality of showing off when trying to use supernormal power to punish bad people, the state of being easily distracted when indulging in studying rules and forms of classical poems instead of diligently studying the Fa, and the mentality of an ordinary person to suspect that I was ill when my body became thin and uncomfortable, all of which are selfish motives, fear, and attachments.
What do I do next? Just as Teacher said,
"In such cases there are only two choices: You either go to the hospital and thus give up on trying to overcome the test, or you completely let go of everything, behave like an upstanding and noble Dafa disciple who has no resentment or attachments, and leave it to Master to arrange whether you stay or go. When you are able to do that, you are a god." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
I pledged, "All my life, I will steadfastly follow Teacher, firmly study Dafa, give up all attachments, and not be moved by anything. I will only accept arrangements made by Teacher and will not let the old forces take advantage even if there are gaps." I recited the Fa rectification formula and firmly expelled the external interferences.
The next day, I did not eat anything. No matter what I ate, I felt nauseous and only wanted to drink water.
My wife had always been against my cultivation. She was even angrier after learning that I was clarifying the truth and distributing materials in public. When she returned home and saw that I was lying in bed, she stormed in to quarrel with me and threatened to get a divorce, or she would commit suicide. Misfortunes did not come singly and this was really a difficult time.
No matter how aggressive her words were, I recited Teacher's instruction in my heart:
"You cannot refuse to accept other people's constructive comments and even negative comments. You cannot continue to push these things away. From now on all of you have to begin getting rid of this attachment." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
On April 21, I attended a conference on time, despite the fact that I did not feel well. I spoke for 15 minutes at the conference. During the break times, I clarified the truth to those who were attending the conference and received their praise. When I arrived at home in the afternoon, my wife had invited my two sisters to my home--they planned to "persuade" me. I took the opportunity to clarify the truth to them, calmly presented the facts, and reasoned with them. In the end, they were speechless.
April 22 was a Saturday. My wife went out for the entire day, because she still had some hard feelings toward me. I used the time to distribute some truth-clarifying materials near my home. Since we have been married for 40 years, I know her well: she has a knowing side. On Sunday, she finally returned home and cooked a few of my favorite dishes for me. I understood what she meant and said, "Today's dishes are wonderful. Although I don't have much appetite, I will eat a lot!"
That same night, after I got some sleep, all of my symptoms were gone--no fever, no pain, and I had regained my appetite. I knew this was the result of Teacher's help and fellow practitioners' support.
With Dafa's help and my firm belief and righteous thoughts, I had overcome the tribulation in four days.