(Clearwisdom.net) I have been on the cultivation path for nine years of hardships and tribulations. With Master's compassion and safeguarding, I finally got out of jail after being detained for five years. Unfortunately, I relaxed my will to diligently advance after obtaining my freedom. My attachments to fear and complacency stopped me from being diligent. I didn't always do well according to Master's teaching. I was arrested again and was detained in the detention center. During the seven days of my illegal detention I could feel Master's great compassion and the effectiveness of fellow practitioners' righteous thoughts. I could feel the compassionate side of sentient beings and the holiness of the Buddha Fa. I also realized how important it is to look inward, to understand the Fa, and to have righteous thoughts and righteous actions. At last, the evil elements around me were disintegrated and I got out of danger.
Here is my experience. Please point out anything improper.
On the way to work in the morning I was reading the Fa on a palm pilot on a bus when a plainclothes police officer arrested me. When he arrested me, I did not think of Master or the Fa. I was just worried and upset. I sent forth righteous thoughts only with the idea of escaping and did not think that the policeman was controlled by the evil and was himself a victim. At the police department, they made threatening, hostile gestures. I did not follow what Master said in "Hurry Up and Tell Them." I was in a totally negative state and thought I had no way out.
On the way back to the police department after they took me to my home and searched my belongings, I thought about one of Master's poems but I did not have a good understanding of two verses in the poem:
"When disciples have ample righteous thoughts
Master has the power to turn back the tide."
( "The Master-Disciple Bond,"HongYin II, a provisional translation)
I did not have any symptoms of high blood pressure or a heart attack, nor did I want to go on a hunger strike. How could I get out of there? I was very confused.
When the front gate of the detention center suddenly closed, my mood fell. I did not have the heroic spirit like:
"Confident and magnanimous, I rectify the colossal firmament
Huge is the adversity that accompanies me
as I journey heaven and earth"
("In One Thought," Hong Yin II, a provisional translation)
I sat there thinking, "How would my husband be able to support the family on only 400 yuan per month? How would my child manage with no one to help him with his homework?" I also thought about how the turnips they fed to us in the detention center tasted so nasty and that the space for sleeping was so small. When I thought about the CCP's cruel and violent slaughtering of innocent people in the past years, I was frightened. I looked outside through the window. I could see the sky and sunshine, but they seemed far away from me. There was a voice in my heart, "I want to go home. I want freedom." I did not want to stay in the detention center for even a minute. Sometimes I was sad and negative. Sometimes I was worried and fearful. At that time, I felt very weak and dizzy. It seemed as if my spirit was to be destroyed.
I kept reciting the "Fa" and cleansing myself and sharing with other practitioners. It was a war between righteousness and evil and it was so breath-taking! When I recited Master's poem,
"Disciples of Fa,
be diligent, with a will that ebbs not
The countless years of hardship were all for this time"
("A Will That Ebbs Not")
one strong thought came to my mind: "I can't give up. Master, please help me." I suddenly enlightened to the true meaning of :
"When great the ordeal, keep steadfast"
("Steadfast," Hong Yin II, a provisional translation)
I asked Master to help me to clear out all the interference to my righteous thoughts. I could feel all the bad factors were leaving me quickly. I truly understood,
"What's given up is not oneself
But instead the folly of delusion"
("Discarding Attachments," Hong Yin II, a provisional translation)
If the attachments were not truly mine, why should I let them interfere with me? I must eliminate them immediately. At that moment, my mind calmed down and I felt my body lighten. I understood,
"When disciples have ample righteous thoughts
Master has the power to turn back the tide."
("The Master-Disciple Bond" HongYin II, a provisional translation).
I had a dream that night. In the dream I was preparing for exams. My English, Math, Chemistry and Chinese were all good. Only my Physics was not so good, and I planned to review Physics. (In Chinese, Physics and "to enlighten" have the same pronunciation.)
For several years, when I encountered any tests, sometimes I didn't look inward for any attachments. When I did look inward and find attachments, I often held them tight and was unable to get rid of them. Several practitioners in the room helped me. We studied the "Fa" and shared our understandings on the Fa. I found many things to be improving and understood many principles. As if there were layers of walls separating me from the Fa before, now they were falling down one by one. I felt the mighty profoundness of the Fa.
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive out Interference" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I understood it was not wrong for us to seek our freedom but the key was to decide on the fundamental point, was it for self or for others? What was our purpose: to send forth righteous thoughts for one's freedom and avoiding the persecution or for saving the sentient beings?
I felt sympathy for those who were controlled by the evil and involved in the persecution because they would destroy themselves and the countless sentient beings in their associated celestial bodies. I realized why I was attached to helping my son with his studies instead of validating Dafa. I wanted to prove myself and my value to my family, relatives, and friends. I forgot that everyone has his or her own destiny and I forgot what sentient beings came for. Studying the Fa helped me to break through my attachments and human notions again and again.
"Having gone through life's vicissitudes
Months and years have passedin the span of but one thought"
("Grand Vow and Great Wish," Hong Yin II, a provisional translation)
"...all of the chaotic world's unrighted wrongs and karmic relationships are settled with benevolent solutions."
("Foretelling the Fa's Rectification of the Human World" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
When I recited the above poems, I gave up my attachment to my family and also found my fundamental attachment--seeking comfort and liking to hear good words. That was why I always had conflicts with my mother-in-law. I didn't follow the Fa to be kind and I forgot Master's teaching,
"With their exceptional breadth of mind, Dafa disciples can endure anything" ( "Teaching the Fa at the 2001 Canada Fa Conference").
Just like Master said,
"Some people have become like matches--one stroke and they ignite. They're like land mines--one step and they detonate. [They are acting like,] 'You can't criticize me. I can't take any criticism.' They no longer listen to any expression of disapproval or disagreement, whether it was meant out of good or ill will, was intentional or unintentional; they reject everything flat out, and even less do they examine themselves. It has gotten quite severe."
("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
Sharing with fellow practitioners, Master gave me hints through their words. I kept rectifying myself according to the Fa. I awakened. I sent out a righteous thought, "Even though I didn't do well, those low and dirty rotten ghosts and their helpers are not worthy of testing me. I am a disciple of Master Li Hongzhi. I am a disciple during the Fa-rectification period. I have a mission and an honor to save sentient beings. I do not acknowledge any other arrangements. Master, please give me another opportunity. I don't want to let the evil take advantage of my loopholes to destroy worldly people or let my family and my friends suffer again because of my shortcomings. Please give me another opportunity to save sentient beings. I will do well and let Dafa's wonderfulness and holiness manifest in the human world."
I sent out righteous thoughts and cooperated with fellow practitioners. I let my family ask for my release. I advised the related policemen to be good, while eliminating the evil factors of the CCP and other evil factors in their bodies. I asked for the release of practitioners without any conditions.
For seven days I sent forth righteous thoughts up to six hours a day. I studied the Fa with fellow practitioners and taught them to recite Hong Yin II. I told them about Master's recent lectures and how to cooperate in advising people to quit the CCP and its related organizations. I could feel the strong energy from the practitioners outside of the detention center. On the seventh day, I was released in the morning without any conditions. I didn't go on a hunger strike or feign other sickness symptoms, and I didn't pay any fine. I profoundly understood the inner meaning of Master's teaching,
"Imprisoned as you are, but don't be sorrowful or sad
With thoughts and actions righteous,
the Fa is with youCalmly reflect on the attachments you have
Let go of your human thoughtsAnd the evil will naturally die."
("Don't Be Sad," Hong Yin II, a provisional translation)
I came home and found everything to be reasonable and smooth, just as I had imagined. I realized everything I do must come from the viewpoints of compassion, purity, altruism, and kindness. That is the righteous enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.
I take this opportunity to show my gratitude to compassionate Master, to fellow practitioners who cooperated together as a group, and to my family who tried to save me with righteous thoughts. .
Last, let us review Master's teaching again:
"Dafa disciples, all the way until their last step to Consummation, will be tested as to whether they can make it. There could be very, very critical tests for you all the way until you are just one step away from finishing. That is because every step becomes more and more critical to your cultivation and your tests, especially toward the end. You know, those lawless gods of the old cosmos will try to maneuver things until the very end, as long as they are still around. When you are not up to par, they will surely try to find a way to bring you down. They know that Li Hongzhi won't abandon you, so they will use all kinds of methods to make you fall. Having just one single thought be off will make a person falter. So the closer it is to the end, the more serious and crucial the tests will be."
("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
June 1, 2006