(Clearwisdom.net) I started my Dafa cultivation in 2003. I remember that when I just started my cultivation, I would feel very tired when it was just a little after 7:00 p.m. But when I thought that I had attained the Fa very late and the time was so precious to me, I would then sit down and start to read Dafa books. Gradually I became absorbed in reading the book, the sleepiness was gone, and I became even more energetic. This state lasted for about half a year. At that time, because I did not know the old forces well, I completely depended on my firm faith and on seizing the time to study the Fa to break through the interference of sleepiness. Later the interference often came, so I would then stand up and walk while studying the Fa. Up until now, I still stand for most of my time studying the Fa. Sometimes, the interference was so big that I could not force myself into Fa-study. In this situation, I would then loudly read or recite Master's Hong Yin II; the more I recited, the more clear-headed I became. This way, the demon of sleepiness was driven away and I could calmly learn the Fa again.
In the period of time after the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, I felt muddle-headed all day long. Although I forced myself into reading the Fa for quite a while, I still did not recall the contents of the Fa. Sometimes I fell asleep while still holding the book. Sometimes, I could only manage to get through one lecture in five or six hours, and the effect also was not good. I was muddle-headed when I sent forth righteous thoughts. When I talked about this with the diligent practitioners, they told me to send forth righteous thoughts. However, when I did that, it happened that either my hand gestures changed, or I fell asleep. This state lasted over one week and I was very worried. One time when I studied Master's "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference," (February 26, 2005) I noticed that Master said,
"Some students were coughing a while ago, and some students have had certain abnormal reactions, especially in the period after the Nine Commentaries came out. It was the work of the factors, lodged in people's bodies, that belong to the malevolent Party's evil specter. You need to eliminate them when you send righteous thoughts."
Right at that time, I closed my book and thought: You, the communist evil specters, are really very evil. You do not want me to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts. Isn't it right that being a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, Master has given me wisdom and divine powers? Today I will certainly eliminate you, the evil communist specter, and not let you interfere with me again.
The human body is a small universe and everything within my dimensional fields should be at the command of my primordial spirit. So why were my studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts interfered with? So there must be evil factors in my dimensional fields. I then sat down to send forth righteous thoughts: Completely eliminate all the dark minions, rotten demons, and communist specters in my environment and in my own dimensional fields, and also ask for Master's help. When I just sent out this thought, the feeling of sleepiness immediately came over me. I then strengthened my main consciousness, opened up my eyes, and concentrated on keeping this thought. Gradually I could clearly feel something bad being discharged from my muddle-headed brain. I kept yawning and my tears also kept flowing. My brain gradually became clear.
After I quietly sent forth righteous thoughts for half an hour, I felt that the degenerated substance, which had tied up my brain like thousands of ropes, was completely discharged, and my brain became particularly clear. In that moment I again saw the mightiness of Dafa and my face was covered in tears. Human words could not describe my gratitude toward our benevolent Master for helping me break through this tribulation. Later I sent forth righteous thoughts continuously for one week until my true life - the primordial spirit - could study the Fa by being melted into the Fa.
My understanding is that our studying the Fa means that our primordial spirit, rather than the superficial layer of ourselves, is studying the Fa. If we cannot study the Fa with a clean mind or cannot get the Fa into our minds, there must be evil elements that are interfering. We definitely need to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them and let our true life, the primordial spirit, learn the Fa; at that time, the more one learns the Fa, the clearer and calmer one becomes, and the more one wants to study the Fa. That really means that a life is undergoing day-and-night changes. Ever since then, as long as my mind is not clear, I clean out my own dimensional fields.
Last year, in a period right before the New Year, I felt that I had done all the three things. However, I did truth clarification with an impure mind as if I were fulfilling a task, and I even became attached to the things in the human world. I knew that this state was not right and I was sliding down. During that period of time, in "Minghui Weekly", fellow practitioners often talked about their understandings about memorizing the Fa. I also got moved and wanted to memorize the Fa to break through this wrong state. However, how could it be easy! I needed to spend several hours to remember just one short paragraph of the Fa. So I gave up after several days. I felt that it was too time-consuming and too difficult as well. After a while, I saw fellow practitioners' sharing about memorizing the Fa again. I then thought that as the others could do it, why couldn't I? Why not completely memorize the fundamental Law of the cosmos word by word? What a rare opportunity! At that time, one thought came to my mind that no matter how difficult it would be, I would definitely memorize the universal Law, Zhuan Falun, word by word. After I made up my mind, I immediately started to act. Every day, I took the time to memorize the Fa with a quiet mind. When I had just started, I felt that it was very difficult; I took several hours to memorize one short paragraph of the Fa and could not read the Fa from the beginning to the end. The thought of giving up often popped up into my mind. However, I just kept memorizing the Fa determinedly, not thinking of anything else. I was this way for about a week. One day while I recited the Fa, I felt that my whole life had been melted into the Fa and that my whole body was enveloped inside a benevolent and harmonious energy field. I did not have any human thoughts. It was so wonderful.
After I broke through this state, I could melt into the Fa every time I memorized and recited the Fa, and my pace of memorizing the Fa also speeded up. Every day, the more I memorize the Fa, the more I enjoyed doing it. Memorizing the Fa was also a process of my eliminating bad elements in me, as well as of elevating myself within the Fa. I could feel that the living beings in my small cosmos were as happy as I was in becoming assimilated into the Fa. After five months, I finished memorizing the whole book Zhuan Falun. I felt like my body had been washed once and had become much cleaner. Now when I read the Fa, I feel that I have enlightened much more.
Since April this year, I encountered even bigger tribulations from the demon of sleepiness. During the daytime, I could study the Fa; but when it was 9:00 or 10:00 p.m., I felt that my brain started to become muddle-headed, I could not open my eyes, and it did not work even with my sending forth righteous thoughts and reciting the Fa. I fell asleep when it was only 11:00 p.m. I wanted to break through this state, but I always failed. So my situation became worse and worse. It went on that way for over 20 days before I talked with fellow practitioners about it. A fellow practitioner said that one needs to suffer to cultivate. She was in a lot of pain when she did the meditation, but she still kept the position for 60 minutes. I felt very ashamed after I heard this. I have been cultivating for three years. Every day I would get up little after 5:00 a.m. In the winter, I would even get up at 6:00 a.m., when it was time to send forth righteous thoughts. Sometimes, I could not finish the five sets of exercises in one day. I would also spend less time studying the Fa. I would still find excuses for my laziness. I had been slacking off for a long time. After I got home, I set the alarm for 4:00 a.m. I also asked for Master's help. Once the alarm went off, I got up and practiced the sitting meditation exercise. When I became sleepy, I concentrated and sent forth righteous thoughts. I felt that I improved a lot.
Master said,
"As long as you haven't gotten rid of all human things you're still a cultivator. Only when everything on the surface has finally transformed will you be completely separated from human beings. But while cultivating you should have clear awareness, cultivate away your deficiencies, restrain your shortcomings, and eliminate your shortcomings. You must have a sense of constantly climbing up. That's cultivating." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference")
During our cultivation path, if interference happens, besides looking within ourselves, we must believe in Master and Dafa. In this case, we will definitely be able to overcome the tribulations and walk our paths well.
June 17, 2006