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Husband and Wife Practitioners Should Progress Together Diligently

Oct. 14, 2008 |   By a practitioner in Huai'an, Jiangsu Province

(Clearwisdom.net) My wife and I are practitioners, and today we met another couple, who are also practitioners. One of them said, "Since the two of us are both practitioners, tribulations are larger and it's harder for us to pass the tests." I suggested that these practitioners negate this notion, because it indicates a strong attachment to "self' and causes them to think of themselves as everyday people, not as practitioners.

When the couple (practitioners A and B) encountered a problem, if A waited for or depended on B to solve it and when B complained, then A often said, "You owed me from a previous life and its time for you to pay the debt." Often, B accepted it silently, believing it was the right thing to do as a practitioner. What B didn't realize was that this was the opportunity the evil was waiting for to segregate the practitioners. When B accepted A's reasoning, then B was acknowledging the old forces' arrangements. If this continued, the problem would intensify, and when it became too big for the two to pass together, both would easily fall to the level of everyday people, and they would start to complain about each other or even think about divorce. They often felt bitter and tired, and couldn't continue the practice.

Teacher said in "To the Chicago Fa Conference:"

"Whatever you experience during your cultivation--whether good or bad--is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating."

Why do keen conflicts still exist between couples, when they are both practitioners? Because neither of them looks inward when conflicts emerge. They see only the other person's problems, and they may forget that the conflict is occurring as part of their cultivation.

While reading Teacher's words, I realized that I had acknowledged the old forces' arrangements in my own relationship. If it continued, the tribulation between us would get bigger and would start to interfere with us when doing the three things and validating the Fa. I knew I had to negate the old forces' arrangements, look inward, and eliminate the attachments to fighting, jealousy, and selfishness. I should have compassion and tolerance toward my spouse and rectify my every thought and act based on the Fa. As my thoughts emerged, I asked Teacher to help me eliminate the evil elements of complaining, despising, the emotion of opposing, and everything that stops us from improving and cooperating with each other. I then felt as though a barrier between us had been removed.

My understanding is that when both husband and wife are practitioners, they must have vowed to Teacher to come here together. There is no reason for us not to be one body and walk the path Teacher arranged for us diligently and with cooperation.