(Clearwisdom.net) For a long time I was lax in my cultivation. But through memorizing the Fa and increasing the time and intensity in sending forth righteous thoughts, I once again became determined in my belief in the Fa and Master and corrected and improved my understanding of the Fa. Under Master's compassionate arrangement and with the help of fellow practitioners, I resumed cultivation in the Fa-rectification period. I began working again and I came back to my family as well.
I came to enlighten to this Fa principle when I was studying the Fa: Ordinary work is not cultivation, but our cultivation state will be reflected in our work; doing the work well is to harmonize the Fa at the level of ordinary society. When I started to work again, I was not very clear on this Fa principle and didn't put it into practice. In fact, I didn't put my heart into my work and did it without much effort. I held such an attitude for a long period of time.
One day my boss convened a sudden meeting and pointed out that I didn't do my work well, though he didn't mention my name. I felt the seriousness of the matter. I calmed myself down and looked inward and found the problem: I mixed daily work with cultivation and did not spend enough time and effort on either. This was to allow more time for laziness and seeking comfort. After I came to this enlightenment, I felt so lighthearted. The next day when my boss saw me, he was very happy. I realized that Master had arranged the meeting to help me look inward.
Because I had been persecuted for a long time, I formed a stubborn notion that I would always be persecuted. One day when I was chatting with a colleague, she said to me: You don't need to put too much effort into your work; it is no use if you do the work well; because you practice Falun Gong, you can't get any acknowledgment no matter how good you are. At the time I acknowledged this idea. Subconsciously I thought that it was good enough that I could keep my job and I didn't want more. When studying the Fa at home, I thought about it again and realized that this notion was not right and I had been accepting the old forces' arrangements. Dafa disciples are to validate the Fa and negate any persecution. A cultivator is not attached to ordinary people's fame and interests, but he should get what he deserves and should be respected once he has done a good job. This is in line with the ordinary society's principles and also part of our role to validate the Fa. Once my notions were rectified, my righteous thoughts were strengthened and I had balanced the relationship between work and cultivation; I was recognized for my good work. For several consecutive years I got awards from my workplace and higher organizations. I was number one on several workplace tests. One thing I'd like to mention here is that my workplace didn't achieve its targets for several years. After I took over, I did my best though under high pressure and the results were beyond everybody's expectations. We had achieved the target. I was enlightened that the Fa is boundless. As long as we are in the Fa and do what we should do, Master will arrange the best for us. "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts while transformation of gong is done by one's master."(Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
Recently some trainees that I was working with had come from different levels of society and some didn't behave and were not well-mannered. They influenced the whole group. I tried to discipline them but it didn't work and tension developed instead. I didn't know what to do and was upset for several days. Master once said something to the effect that whether you came across good things or bad things, it was all good; they arose because you cultivate. There are no coincidences on the path of cultivation. I looked inward to see what kind of attachments it had touched and what kind of thought I generated. I found a pile of attachments such as: hoping others would be good to me, vanity, strong ego, being afraid of losing face, being afraid of the boss knowing the truth about things affecting me, anger towards other people and competitiveness. I had not yet fundamentally changed the notions of being afraid of conflicts, being hurt and seeking comfort. After finding those attachments, I was determined to maintain my xinxing and act according to the requirements of Dafa no matter how other people behaved. Things changed greatly in the two training sessions that followed. Hostility disappeared and harmony arose. I realized that the trainees' bad behaviors were actually reflections of my own attachments. When I got rid of my own attachments, those things would not play any role any more. Cultivating oneself well can change the environment. This was an example of "the Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities."(Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun).
It is our prehistoric vow to clarify the facts and save sentient beings. This is a sacred responsibility of every Dafa disciple. I started to clarify the facts very late. I studied the Fa more and my righteous thoughts increasingly strengthened. I overcame my strong attachments of fear and inferiority and started to clarify the facts to people around me by writing letters, distributing the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and "Minghui Weekly" and face-to-face truth clarification. I told my students in the classes that I taught the truth about Dafa and the persecution. I also put the contents of the Nine Commentaries into my teaching. I still remember one day in class, one of the students suddenly talked about how evil the existing system was. And another person shouted loudly "Falun Dafa is good!" Some other people said that Falun Gong would be appreciated in the future. The atmosphere was harmonious and enthusiastic. Students looked at me with excitement. I kept nodding my head with agreement. I knew that it was a manifestation of their knowing sides and also an encouragement to me from Master.
Looking back at my cultivation through my work, I realize that every step forward and every improvement of mine involves Master's immense compassion and huge sacrifice. Dafa is harmonizing everything of mine.
At the same time I clearly know that at this critical last stage of the Fa rectification, I must study the Fa more, cultivate myself, keep up with the Fa-rectification process, try to do the three things well, harmonize Dafa and be worthy of Master's compassionate salvation and the expectations of sentient beings.
Due to my limited level, please point out anything inappropriate.