(Clearwisdom.net) I have recently had trouble letting go of some attachments, especially when it came to my relationship with other practitioners. I became very upset when some people whom I treated very well in the past suddenly said bad words about me. I failed to look at the issue with righteous thoughts, and now write this article to expose this attachment of mine.
When Master's teaching, "Be More Diligent," was published, our local coordinator organized a group Fa study to share our understandings on the article. An elderly practitioner brought her husband with her. He began his cultivation after suffering a stroke, not long ago. When I first saw the couple, I was very happy and thought he surely would benefit from our group Fa study. However, I soon became disappointed, and started to find faults in him. Her husband's voice was weak and his pronunciation was not clear, making it very difficult for others to understand him; he was extremely slow at reading; he coughed all the time and kept having to wipe his nose; he was not hygienic and was a bit smelly; he needed two people to help him get up and down the stairs. I talked to another practitioner, who suggested that we should all be tolerant. The second day two practitioners didn't show up, claiming they were busy with their families. Then more practitioners stopped coming to the group Fa study a few days later.
This was not just an issue of cultivating tolerance, but rather a matter of interference. So I went to talk to the elderly practitioner. I said, "How about you help your husband study the Fa at home? Since he can't keep pace with the group, I'm not sure how much he'd learn. If he stays at home instead and reads the Fa by himself, he wouldn't miss anything. What do you think of coming to the group Fa study just by yourself?" She agreed. A few days later, however, this practitioner told people, be it practitioners or non-practitioners, that I drove her husband out of the Fa study group.
When I initially heard this, I was unhappy but didn't take it to heart. But when more people told me what she said, I became very upset. I couldn't believe that she treated me this way, given that I was so nice to her in the past.
She once gave up cultivation when she was held in Masanjia Forced Labor Camp, and destroyed all her Dafa books when she was released. When she decided to return to Dafa, she did very well in talking to people about the persecution, and had helped many withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party. But she had difficulty obtaining Dafa books. When a practitioner refused to give her any Dafa books, I went out of my way to find a set of books for her.
When I remembered the favor that I did for her in the past, I couldn't help but complain to another practitioner, "She is already in her 60s. How could she not know who really treats her well and who doesn't? Nobody wanted to give her Dafa books, but I got a set for her. How can she now spread rumors about me like this?" The practitioner replied, "Well, it was indeed you that drove her husband away from our Fa study group." I was speechless and realized that I wasn't looking at the matter from the perspective of the Fa.
When I decided to forgive and forget what had occurred with this practitioner, another practitioner suddenly told me, "You women just can't forgive and forget." I thought I had already removed my attachment, but apparently I failed to dig out the root cause of the problem. So Master arranged for this practitioner to remind me to look for the root cause of my attachments.
I realized that this attachment has surfaced before. There was a practitioner who had trouble getting rid of her attachment to lust and desire. Many practitioners didn't want to have anything to do with her, and some directly told others not to talk to her. This practitioner thought that she was treated wrongfully, and came to complain to me. I comforted her and told her that as Master never gave up on her, neither should we. I often teamed up with her when we went out to clarify the truth. But one time when I met her, she became very angry and started shouting at me because I had covered the truth clarification materials up in paper, as though I was trying to conceal what we were doing. I soon realized that it was interference from the old forces, and so I began to send forth righteous thoughts. After a while she came to me and apologized. I told her that if both of us knew to look within, the old forces wouldn't be able to separate us. But when I returned home I felt very angry toward that practitioner, thinking, "When other practitioners didn't even want to talk to you, I went out of my way to accept you."
The words "You women just can't forgive and forget" really woke me up. I realized my real attachments were in fact jealousy, showing off and competitiveness.
Whatever occurs between practitioners has its karmic reasons behind it. If we are interfered with, it must be that we still have human notions that are taken advantage of by the old forces. We should disintegrate such attachments and cultivate ourselves well to reach consummation.
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