(Clearwisdom.net) Practicing cultivation in Dafa is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I would like to share my cultivation experiences related to contributing articles to the Clearwisdom website.
1. Contributing Articles to the Clearwisdom Website is My Responsibility
During the past several years, I have frequently contributed articles to the Clearwisdom website to share cultivation experiences with fellow practitioners and to report to Master. I believe this to be my responsibility and part of my historical mission, and I have greatly benefited from doing this. Many things that I encountered in the past laid a foundation in developing my writing abilities and technical skills for operating a computer, and I feel that this is the cultivation path that Master arranged for me.
Master emphasized the importance of the Clearwisdom website during the Fa-rectification period many times. In my understanding, making use of one's writing skills to contribute to the website is not only for personal cultivation, but also for contributing to the improvement of the entire body.
I once had an inspiration for an article on a certain issue, but due to my attachment of comfort, I procrastinated and started working on it only two days later. On the third day, I still delayed finishing the article. I then saw an article published on the Clearwisdom website that had a similar idea as mine, from the Fa principles to the structure. At that time, I felt that Master had assigned the task to several disciples, so although I didn't get to it, another fellow practitioner was able to take care of it. I then felt ashamed and changed my attitude about contributing articles from being casual about it to that of bearing responsibility. Whenever I come to a new enlightenment, I try to find some time to write about my experiences as soon as possible.
In the process of writing articles, I have realized that it is Dafa that gives me the clear mind, wisdom, and ability to write each article, enabling me to calmly complete each article in a very short period of time. Sometimes when I read the published articles I wrote, I even discover and learn new things. I have come to intimately experience "writing as if with divine help," as the old saying goes.
In the beginning, I wrote articles on cultivation insights and experiences, but afterward I felt that some of these articles were just barely passable. I then started putting more effort into collecting information, and I tried to write a variety of articles. I also studied and greatly benefited from the writing guidelines published on the Clearwisdom website at that time.
2. Eliminating the Attachment of Validating Self
When I first contributed articles to the Clearwisdom website, I did so with the goal of validating myself. At that time, I had conflicting opinions while studying the Fa with fellow practitioners. I didn't want to give up my own opinion, so I wrote articles in order to be recognized. Sometimes I also had a strong attachment to validating myself when I studied the Fa. I had searched within the Fa to find words that could validate myself in order to persuade fellow practitioners. I have come to understand that whether or not my opinion is in accordance with the Fa, I must eliminate the attachment of validating self.
The more I saw my articles published, the more my attachment of validating self was exposed. I was no longer anxious to share my opinion with fellow practitioners, because I felt that I had already been recognized by the Clearwisdom website and no longer needed their recognition. This state of mind made me so conceited that fellow practitioners said to me on several occasions, "You are not exchanging experiences, you are trying to direct others on what to do!" Some local practitioners even asked me to stop contributing articles. At that point, I knew that I must deeply look within.
During the process of looking within, I found and got rid of many attachments. However, I still couldn't solve the root problem, because I always thought that my opinions were correct and that others should accept them. Actually, my opinions were not always correct. In addition, some practitioners started to talk negatively about the Clearwisdom website. I was confused and felt worried about those practitioners, and sometimes expressed anger toward them. However, I still didn't realize that all of these situations actually reflected my attachment of validating self and were there to help me eliminate it.
I subsequently had two dreams. In the first dream, I was taking a Chinese exam. The woman sitting in front of me was an athlete. She frequently turned her head back to ask me for answers, and I was very patient in answering them. If I didn't know the answer, I opened the textbook and looked for the answer. Strangely enough, the supervisor just sat there watching us, but never stopped us. I felt that I was very proficient in Chinese, so I just took my time, until I accidentally looked at my watch and found that there was less than an hour left to finish the exam. I felt a bit anxious and hurried to finish my exam. I clearly remember the first question, where I was asked to explain "Wei" of "Wei Zi Wang Qu." I knew that "Wei" meant "to lower myself." However, before I was about to write down my answer, the athlete turned her head again to ask me for more answers. I looked at my watch as I answered her, thinking that I had very little time left to finish the exam. Then I became so anxious that I suddenly woke up.
In the second dream, I was also taking an exam. This time, no classmates asked me for answers, but the supervisor took away my papers for quite a long time. When she returned the papers to me, there was only ten minutes left! I again felt so anxious that I suddenly woke up again.
From these two dreams I came to understand that time is very limited, and I should lower myself from the high pedestal that I had placed myself on, hurry to cultivate myself well, and do well the things that I should do. At the moment of this realization, I heard a voice compassionately telling me, "Isn't Master looking forward to your success in cultivation?" I immediately deeply understood the meaning of the words "Buddha's infinite grace," and cried.
Through repeatedly studying the Fa, I realized that different beings have different cultivation paths, and practitioners have different understandings on the Fa principles in different realms. Therefore, in order to sincerely exchange experiences with fellow practitioners well, we should be responsible to the Fa, rather than validate ourselves.
Master said,
"Whatever you have enlightened to in Dafa is no more than a tiny portion of the Fa's principles at a certain level within the boundless Fa's principles." ("Definitive Conclusion" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
"If you are validating the Fa, no matter what another person says about you, you won't be affected inside. If someone counters your opinion and you get riled up and don't like it, if when other people raise an opinion opposite yours based on some problem you have or disagree with your opinion and you don't like it, and you stand up to oppose it and argue on your own behalf, and when this leads to your going off topic and not listening to others, [in all such cases] you are--even if you are defending and explaining yourself with the best of intentions--still just validating yourself. (Applause) That is because you didn't put Dafa first, and at that time the thing that you couldn't let go of most was self." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")
After studying Master's Fa again, I felt very ashamed because I realized that I had wasted much precious time in order to validate myself as being right. If fellow practitioners couldn't accept the Clearwisdom website's opinions because I added in the factor of self, then didn't I cause interference with fellow practitioners' cultivation?
3. Eliminating Fear to Carry Out My Mission
I discovered that I didn't want others to know which articles were written by me, especially the articles that exposed the evil. When some practitioners asked me to confirm if I wrote a certain article, or told others that I wrote a certain article, I felt pressured. I came to realize that it was the attachment of fear. I feared that if too many practitioners knew that a certain article was written by me, the evil would find some way to persecute me. When I discovered this attachment and looked within, I realized that the things I do to validate the Fa are not ordinary people's things, and so I should not assess them with an ordinary human mindset--instead, I should use the Fa at higher realms to think about them. As a Dafa disciple, I am doing what I should do, which is in accordance with the principles of the universe, and is therefore protected by Dafa. From this perspective, it makes no sense that I would be persecuted because I wrote the articles.
As this realization came, I remembered Master's poem "Deterrence,"
"The divine pens deter those demons in human skin
Like sharpened blades, they extirpate rotten spirits
The old forces pay not the Fa its due respect
Wielding the brush you shall subdue the surge of madness" (Hong Yin II)
I recited this poem several times and immediately felt fresh and light, as if all the bad things were eliminated in this process and righteous thoughts returned to my heart again.
I also found attachments of showing off and zealotry deep in my heart. It is Dafa disciples' responsibility to use different kinds of methods to validate the Fa well, but no matter how many things we have done or how well we have done them, it is Dafa that gives us the wisdom and ability to accomplish these things. Therefore, I don't have anything to show off. The only thing I can do is cultivate myself well and do better to live up to Master's compassionate salvation.
4. Improving Myself Through Clearwisdom Articles
I always submitted my articles to the Clearwisdom website via the Internet and rarely communicated with the editors. However, I could see the editors' careful and responsible attitudes from the changes made to the words and punctuation when the article was published. When my article was not published, I felt that it urged me to study the Fa more and to mature further in my cultivation. In this process, I gradually eliminated the vanity and improper behavior that was developed from being in this ordinary society.
In the process of writing articles, I also gradually recognized the communist culture's influence on my thinking and got rid of all of those aspects. I like reading fellow practitioners' articles from Fa conferences abroad. Their articles are unadorned, relevant, and have a profound effect on me. I know that if I don't get rid of my human notions, I can hardly have the capability to write this way.
My articles are a direct reflection of my xinxing. When they contained mistakes, fellow practitioners often wrote relevant articles that pointed out my shortcomings, and shared their experiences. This sometimes lead many practitioners to write articles on the same issue to exchange their experiences. In this way, I was able to improve, gradually doing better at validating the Fa and saving sentient beings.
Looking back, I can see that I left clear footprints on the Clearwisdom website, which document a step by step path of my improvement. Every time I succeeded in submitting an article, a pink lotus flower appeared on my computer screen, with lively circles orbiting it--I felt like it was smiling at me and encouraging me, and at that moment, all my anxiety and fatigue disappeared.
Thank you, the Clearwisdom website, for providing me with a cultivation platform through which I could share experiences with so many excellent and diligent fellow practitioners on a daily basis, while also elevating my understanding of the Fa principles based on fellow practitioners' articles. Thank you also for providing me with a platform to validate the Fa and help save more sentient beings. As a Dafa disciple, it is my duty to assist Master during this Fa-rectification period, which makes me most grateful.