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I Have Discovered My Attachments - Letter to a Fellow Practitioner

Sept. 27, 2010

(Clearwisdom.net) Dear fellow practitioner,

I have been revising and completing two articles for a practitioner over the past two days. As I was not in a good state, I had difficulty in writing and from time to time I could not continue my work. I thought that it must be that my mind was not calm and tranquil.

I have spent long periods of time during the night sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate interference. I noticed that my mind has not been on the Fa lately. Since we are fortunate enough to be practitioners, we should cherish this predestined relationship. When we are together, we should seize the time to study the Fa, and exchange understandings and insights based on the Fa to improve together. But we have instead discussed other practitioners' shortcomings, so our realms immediately fell to the level of everyday people. For example, practitioner A was arrested and subjected to severe abuse and mistreatment under persecution. We did not strengthen his righteous thoughts to break through the tribulation. On the contrary, we discussed his "shortcomings" behind his back. Unaware of what we were really doing, we reinforced the old forces' elements to persecute him. Actually, we have helped the old forces. Because of this, our righteous thoughts sent for practitioner A during that time must have been weak. Why didn't we affirm the good things that the practitioner did? Didn't we often see him travel to different places to help practitioners with technical problems? He did his best without complaint for the sake of offering salvation to sentient beings. Practitioner A's mother did not have a solid foundation in her cultivation practice. Suddenly faced with her son's arrest, it was really hard for her to balance properly between rescuing her son and exposing the persecution to offer salvation to those who have not learned the facts, such as those who had assisted in the persecution. After witnessing all of this, we should strengthen these practitioners with righteous thoughts and try our best to help them. So when in the future we appear in front of revered Master and practitioners, we can say without regret that we have done what we were supposed to.

Why haven't I met the standard of the Fa? I first sent forth righteous thoughts to clear my dimensional field, and then calmed down to look within. I found several attachments and human notions, which have fundamentally stemmed from selfishness. When encountering conflicts and things inconsistent with my notions or when I felt wronged, I became emotional and angry. I lost the rationality that I had cultivated within the Fa, forgot to look within, and found faults in others. When we discussed about other practitioners, we were hurting them and causing the practitioners to endure more suffering. Then, considering the principles of the universe-- no loss, no gain-- what I lost was the virtue that practitioners should value.

Another point is the ties of friendship between practitioners; strictly speaking, it is "like buddies and pals." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference") Such a relationship is not pure, and it causes us to do things that deviate from the Fa. For example, when we eat out, you always paid the bill. Why did I pay for my portion when eating out with other practitioners and on other occasions, but I didn't when eating with you? You were always concerned about my life, therefore, we developed profound feelings for each other, which created obstacles for us in improving together. Due to human emotions, I had an attachment of seeking something in return because the attachment was deeply hidden and I was unable to detect it. When we were together, we often discussed other practitioners' good and bad points. I should rectify myself with the Fa and I should pay for my share of everything. I must be strict with myself, and walk this path righteously.

Master told us in many of his lectures, "Don't hit back when hit; don't curse back when cursed at," ("Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference") but I was still affected and angry when I heard others talking about me. I even felt wronged and immediately wanted to prove my innocence. When I read about "The Qimen School" in Zhuan Falun, I understood that "the Qimen School" was originally a righteous practice, unique and good, and ordinary people demoted it into "Side Door and Clumsy Way" (pangmen zuodao) (Lecture Five, Zhuan Falun), but I didn't take that lesson to heart, and continued on my ways of thinking that were so similar to that of ordinary people, which threatens my own cultivation in the Great Way. While I was afraid of being criticized, I always made an excuse for everything, but was unable to look at the problems from a cultivator's point of view, thus failing to improve amidst conflicts.

These things look simple, but they're actually not. My notions and thoughts were exploited by the old forces and created barriers among practitioners. Why can the old forces take advantage of me? It may not only be because of my human notions, and perhaps it also involves historical reasons. The old forces have meddled with them in history. Maybe there was gratitude or resentment harbored from history and these elements play a negative role during the Fa-rectification period, in an attempt to drag cultivators down. As an example, taking our state of being like everyday people, it looks as if we have deep affection for each other. Actually, by doing so, we have dropped to lower levels and strayed from the Fa. If this is not rectified, the consequences will be unimaginable.

In front of Master's image, I plead to Master to strengthen me in completely negating all of the old forces' arrangements, and seek Master's help for benevolent solutions balancing the gratitude or resentment from history. My only choice is to better cooperate in validating the Fa together with other practitioners, harmonize what revered Master expects and Fa-rectification needs, and be responsible to my cultivation. I am thinking of practitioner B at this moment. Over the past few years, she has continuously built barriers among practitioners, creating a big obstacle for local practitioners to form one body to offer salvation to sentient beings. Why does she still have a forum for doing so? Actually, it is relevant to all practitioners, including you and me. We failed to take her shortcomings as a reflection of ourselves and committed the same mistakes; only the extent was different. We even complained about practitioner B, so she has been taken advantage of by the old forces. If we can walk this path righteously, rectify ourselves after seeing the shortcomings of other practitioners and be strict with our own cultivation, then the old forces won't exploit her anymore after seeing that we are unaffected by practitioner B's behavior.

We have spent much time together and understand each other. I believe that I still have many more shortcomings, please kindly point them out for me to rectify.

Heshi!