(Clearwisdom.net) The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) recently carried out another round of desperate arrests of Falun Gong practitioners. As a result, some practitioners' human thoughts escalated. Some started reading newspapers and watching movies, some started playing Mahjong, and others were in a state of not being able to study the Fa with a focused mind. It seemed that they could not continue cultivating if the cultivation environment was not present. What is the reason for this?

I would like to share my personal understandings with fellow practitioners. I think that the main reason for the above situation is that practitioners didn't study the Fa with focused minds, and did not truly cultivate following the requirements of the Fa. The result is that they could not understand the Fa based on the Fa and they could not follow Master's teachings. They failed to place saving lives as their first priority. Because the persecution has lasted so long, they have become somewhat depressed, and developed an attitude of idleness. They no longer require themselves to follow the Fa in all of their thoughts. In this way, they have suppressed their divine sides and inflated their human sides.

Take myself as an example. I recently had the desire to watch movies so I went to one, but afterwards I felt that it was boring. I later went out to clarify the truth. I talked to two people, but these people said that they either didn't have time or they did not want to read the informational materials. I felt upset, and felt that the evil party was so bad for creating such a terrorist atmosphere and almost destroying the Chinese people. Since my mind was not calm, I mindlessly walked to a mahjong hall. Nowadays, mahjong halls are everywhere in China. Before I started cultivation I was very fond of playing mahjong. After I started cultivation I eliminated this attachment with great effort after two years. During this period of time, I was often in an idle state, and from time to time my human notions came up, causing my desire for playing mahjong to surface. It was very dangerous for me. I was fortunate that Master's new lecture, “What is a Dafa Disciple” was published. I read it several times with great eagerness.

Master said,

“Dafa disciples go about their lives alongside ordinary people as part of the illusory ordinary society, and are really susceptible to drifting along with the tide in their way of thinking, at least in some regards. If you can’t manage to conduct yourselves according to Dafa when you do things, can’t manage to think things over with righteous thoughts, or are not on the Fa in dealing with problems, then you are an ordinary person. There isn’t any difference, then. Your appearance is ordinary, the setting in which you lead your life is ordinary, and your job is ordinary. Even if you are involved in Dafa disciples’ projects, in the heavens above there are no such things as television stations, nor do gods have newspapers. Those are forms in ordinary human society. If you don’t use righteous thoughts to guide yourself, and if you cannot manage to conduct yourself and look at the world and others according to the standard of a cultivator, like a Dafa disciple does, then you are the same as an ordinary person.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple”)

After I read Master's Fa lecture, I felt unworthy of Master's compassionate salvation. I kept asking myself why I had such strong human notions and why I didn't do better. The articles on the Minghui website show how well fellow practitioners have been cultivating themselves, and I asked myself why I was not able to do the same. Gold shines everywhere and the existing environment is for tempering practitioners! How could I have drifted with the current like an everyday human being? With such a great Fa, why can't I truly cultivate? I felt so ashamed. I kept asking myself in my mind, “What is a Dafa Disciple? What is a Dafa Disciple in the Fa-rectification period?” During this period, every time my human notions surfaced, I would correct myself with the thought, “Lift up your thoughts, don't be too fond of play, one thought can differentiate a divine being from everyday human beings. You have to remember not to be too fond of play and you have to remember the safety of all the lives. You must save more lives. Master has purified your body. With no illness now, you start thinking of play and forget about your mission. How selfish, pitiful and ignominious you are!” On several occasions when I wanted to play mahjong, I held my righteous thoughts and didn't go.

As I am writing this, I feel very ashamed. During the first several years I did the three things well. Why have I been so idle recently? I found many of my attachments, such as the attachment to time, the hatred toward the evil party, and I didn't require myself to follow the Fa. I suppressed my divine side and inflated my human side, and I let human idleness take advantage of me. If we can truly cultivate, strictly require ourselves to follow the Fa, and conduct ourselves according to the Fa, how can human notions take advantage of us? I would like to thank fellow practitioners for sharing their experiences on the Internet. From these sharings I have learned how to look within and truly cultivate myself. I have also found many of my inadequacies. As true practitioners, we should not let idleness and the feeling of helplessness take advantage of us. We must cherish the time to save more lives, complete our missions, and return home following our Master.

My understanding is limited, please point out anything inappropriate.