(Clearwisdom.net) I was very lucky to start practicing Dafa in early 2005. At that time Master's new article "Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World" had just been published. Due to my shallow understanding of the Fa, I did not connect the mission of saving sentient beings with me. Master saw that I did not understand the Fa, so he put me in a dream state to witness how human beings were annihilated and showed me the following terrible situation: There were corpses and water everywhere. Many of the corpses were waterlogged and floating in the water, and their faces were bloated and looked like white paper. I was trying to look for my younger sister. Some little immortals standing nearby watching said, "There are no living people here." I said, "She must not die." I checked the corpses one by one by turning them over and finally found my younger sister. Her face was still a little rosy. I asked the little immortals to carry her out. I looked down and saw that her lungs had already turned rotten. I was very upset and thought, “How could this be healed?” Then I looked up in the sky and saw a Buddha flying toward me, and he dropped a yellow paper to me. I knew that was a wonderful medicine that could save lives. I knelt down to bow to Buddha with both two hands together and with sincere appreciation. I placed that yellow paper on my younger sister's lung and she came back to life.
Upon waking up I realized that it was Master who had given me a hint to urge me to start to clarify the facts and save sentient beings. I started to explain the facts about Falun Gong among my relatives and my friends, and most of them withdrew from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. Due to my fear and my attachment to avoiding embarrassment at that time, I did not dare to talk to strangers about Falun Gong. I only gave out the informational material and used the Chinese currency with Dafa phrases written on it. Every week fellow practitioners would supply me with enough materials.
Every morning I studied the Fa at home. In the afternoon I went out to distribute materials. Basically I cultivate by myself. Through studying the Fa, I knew as a new practitioner that cultivation of oneself and validating the Fa are mixed together. Doing the three things well is the only cultivation path that all practitioners must follow. Many of my attachments were removed during the course of doing the three things.
Getting Rid of the Attachment to Pursuing a Good Appearance
On one occasion before I was ready to hand out Shen Yun DVDs, an average person's thought came to my mind, that is, if I made myself look younger, people might be more likely to take what I was handing out. Therefore I put on some light make up and walked through many streets and alleys until I came to a housing district. A middle-aged man walked out of his door and took the DVD I handed to him. He said with a smile "You look like a Falun Gong practitioner." I had not thought about clarifying the facts to him, but since he mentioned it, I started to tell him about Falun Gong. I had only finished two sentences when he said, "Come in, my wife is not home and I am alone." I said, “Let me just talk to you here.” But he kept inviting me into his house. I figured out he had a bad intention, so I left.
As Master had said:
"Whenever there is interference of one kind or another in qigong practice, you should look for reason within yourself and determine what you still have not let go. " (Zhuan Falun)
I realized it was my attachment to looking good that caused this trouble. Studying the Fa made me realize that saving sentient beings relied on Dafa's virtue and the righteous thoughts of Dafa practitioners and there is no connection to one's age or appearance. Don't those well-cultivated elderly Dafa practitioners save many sentient beings every day? Saving sentient beings is the most glorious matter in the whole universe. If something so glorious were to be mixed with human thoughts, then how any human beings would be saved? It was so shameful.
Actually, I had pursued having a good appearance for a long time. In everyday life I liked to look into the mirror and liked to wear make-up. Master gave me hints many times. For example, each time before I left home, I'd always drop my make-up. I realized that I must get rid of this attachment to looking good, so I threw away all my make-up and kept myself from looking in the mirror. I did that from my heart because at that time I felt that my attachment to my appearance was senseless.
My Understanding on Studying the Fa without Concentration
Studying the Fa is one of the three things we practitioners should do. Master always tells us that we should study the Fa and study it well in each of his Fa lectures. When I began cultivating I did not understand Master's words very deeply. I just thought what Master said must be right, so I would study at least two lectures of Zhuan Falun every day. When I had time I would also study Master's other lectures. Recently when I gave out the Shen Yun DVDs, I had a deeper feeling of the importance of studying the Fa.
That afternoon I tried to give DVDs to seven people at different times but they all shook their heads and motioned with their hands they didn't want it. I thought that was very strange. I immediately stopped giving out the DVDs and started to look within. I recalled that in the morning while I was studying the Fa, I did not concentrate and was thinking about other things. So I re-studied Master's article "Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa." Master said:
"When some people read Zhuan Falun they are not concentrating, but rather, thinking about other things, and not able to focus their attention on cultivation."
"if whatever it is that you're doing is not grounded in the Fa, if it does not have the power of the Fa, and if you haven't cultivated well, you will not do those things well. Although you might have done whatever it is, it has not achieved any effect and simply cannot save people, for you are ineffective in dissolving evil factors. That is why Fa-study is still the most, most important thing-it is the fundamental guarantee for all that you are to do."
I realized that because I studied Fa without concentrating and while thinking about other things, this resulted in the sentient beings refusing to take my Shen Yun DVDs. That thought was right, because whenever I thought about a Fa principal correctly, my body would change color, which I would recognize. I knew it was Master's encouragement.
How can we study the Fa with clear focus and with concentration? Such an idea is also connected to removing one's attachments, because we have attachments to everyday people's matters. In order to remove average person's attachments, we need to study the Fa well and these two things are therefore closely related. Understanding this, I tried to control my mind and to concentrate better while studying the Fa. Once my mind began to slip away, I would sense it and get alarmed. I would immediately look within to search for any attachments. Once found, I would get rid of them right away by sending righteous thoughts. I would then re-study the portion of the Fa that I had previously read without concentrating. After studying the Fa well and now with the power of the Fa, when I give out DVDs, sentient beings like to take them.
Removing the Attachment of Fear and Embarrassment
I was introverted and not good at speaking. After I started to cultivate, I only chose people I was familiar with to clarify the facts to, and I could not break out of my shell and talk with strangers. The biggest obstacle was my attachments to fear and embarrassment. I was afraid that I could not speak clearly and that the sentient beings would refuse to accept what I said, which would make me lose face. With the Fa rectification process moving forward and my deeper study of the Fa, I thought that I should remove the attachments of fear and embarrassment. For several years I kept sending righteous thoughts to remove the substances of those attachments. However, whenever I met with the reality I still could not open my mouth, which made me miss many opportunities to save people with predestined relationships.
I really envied those practitioners who were very good at clarifying the facts. I wondered, “Since I am cultivating the same Fa, how come I cannot do it?” Through studying the Fa, my mind was opened. Master gave us everything and saved us mercifully. If things had not been as they were, I would not have had the chance to find those two attachments. What else could I not relinquish? As I thought this, the level of my mind elevated very quickly: sitting home to send righteous thoughts is not enough; I should get rid of those two attachments during the course of clarifying the facts.
On one occasion when I was waiting my turn at a bank to withdraw money, I hoped someone with a predestined relationships would come sit beside me. Within two minutes, a young lady sat next to me and started to speak to me. I knew it was Master who had arranged this chance, so I told her the facts. She was very glad to receive my information and agreed to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Thus, with Master's strength, I finally made this step with a light and relaxed mind.
The attachments of fear and embarrassment had gotten in my way like two big mountains. Now I looked back and saw that they were nothing. Sometimes people with predestined relationships that I meet seem to be waiting to talk to me. One day a lady was sitting in a plaza outside of my living area. I walked toward her and asked, "Do you live near here?" She said she didn't, so I asked her if she was waiting for somebody. She said weakly, "I am not waiting for anybody. I just want to sit here for a while." I asked, "Have you heard about withdrawing from the CCP and its affiliated organizations?" She responded with enthusiasm, "I know about that from seeing messages written on paper currency, but how do I do it?" I told her the facts in detail. She was very pleased to quit. Before we departed, she called me back and said that she also wanted to help her friend quit. I said that I needed his agreement and only then would it work. She said he had already agreed and just did not know how to do it. Later she put her hands together and said, "Thank you." I said, “You should thank my Master!” As long as we put down our attachments, the Fa will show us a boundless world.
The above are my experiences removing my attachments while doing the three things. I knew I was far behind the diligent practitioners. From now on I will cultivate more diligently and not waste Master's merciful saving.
With my limited understanding, if anything presented here is not right, please point it out. That would be greatly appreciated.