(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Dafa on December 31, 1998. I would like to report on the process of how I, a small flower, have started to blossom.
Printers
In autumn 2004, when I returned from a brainwashing center, a Dafa coordinator came to tell me to concentrate on studying the Fa, because there was a job waiting for me. One morning in the winter time, she came to take me to a fellow practitioner's home, which was dozens of miles away, where there was a printer. She said to me, “This is the first printer in our county. It is yours to use now.” I told her that I was not ready to take it. She said that she would put it in her home, but I should come to use it. (I was sent to the brainwashing center because the police found a copy of Teacher's portrait in my home. This incident made me believe that my home would not be a safe place for the printer.)
The first time I used the machine, I was very nervous. As a woman over forty, I never thought I could prepare truth-clarifying materials. However, I knew that this job had to be done, so I accepted it. My fear immediately caused the machine to stop working after just a few pages of printing. Another practitioner said, “Why didn't you ask a fellow practitioner how to deal with a malfunction?” The project coordinators then discussed whether I was the proper person to do the job. I knew this was a test to help me improve my character, because I was concerned about losing face. I began to read the printer manual calmly and carefully and send forth righteous thoughts on the hour. I held the idea that since I was called for the job, I should do it well. Furthermore, a Dafa practitioner can overcome any challenge. The next morning everything returned to normal. From then on, I went there once a week to produce truth-clarifying materials without interruption regardless of weather conditions. Whenever there was a problem, I sent forth righteous thoughts.
Centers for producing truth-clarifying materials are everywhere in China. In my area we had added additional printers in different areas. I did not mind walking in the dark and preferred to have the printer away from my home. There was another printer that I used which was located in a village to the west of my home. After using that printer for about six months, one day I was told to remove everything immediately, but I didn't know why. However, another practitioner was there to help me with the move. When we were heading towards the house to get the printer, my heart began to beat very strong and fast. I told myself not to be fearful, because what I was doing was righteous. During the operation of this printer there was much interference and many breakdowns. I could usually remove them with righteousness thoughts and only rarely did I have to call for repair.
Looking within and sending righteous thoughts are valuable tools Teacher has given us. My own experience is that when we use these tools, we must be free of human notions and unmoved by outside appearance. Our real selves should be in control. In other dimensions our thoughts are tangible things. Negative thoughts will interfere with a machine's operation. If we encourage the machine with righteous thoughts, it will work well. For example, a fellow practitioner and I were asked to determine why some printers in villages to the north and east of us were not working properly. I went to these villages, although I didn't know how to do repair work. While on my way to these machines I sent righteous thoughts to remove any interference. When I sat by the machines, I communicated with them saying, “You have come for Dafa. Don't listen to the old forces. By helping Dafa practitioners to save sentient beings you will earn much merit.” I then maintained a quiet mind. When I turned the machine on, it worked normally. By this time the fellow practitioner who was using the machine also found what needed to be improved in his or her character.
During these few years I handled the printers and related materials. Other related matters and decision making were handled by the coordinator. I did not shoulder responsibility or make policy decisions.
Computers
In spring 2007 our coordinator brought me a computer and said, “We need someone to use a computer. I think you are the one. Maybe this is arranged by Teacher.” I knew Dafa practitioners had important responsibilities during the Fa-rectification period, so I accepted the responsibility, but human notions such as fear of difficulty, complaints, and fear of failure emerged. I then realized that no human notions could stop me from validating the Fa and saving sentient beings. With the help of my son and fellow practitioners, I quickly learned to get on the Internet, download materials, print articles, and do simple document layout.
While the materials to provide facts about Falun Gong looked very good, I was not excited about them. Instead, I was worrying about where to hide them. In deep winter I kept the computer in my courtyard. It was so cold that it failed to function. I realized that it was my fear that allowed the old forces to cause this problem. Materials needed for the new year, for exposing two practitioners who had been taken away on New Year's day, and labels for Shen Yun CD's etc. were not yet done, so I was quite anxious.
When the coordinators came for the computer, they asked me to look within. I didn't appreciate what they said, because they didn't seem to understand the pressure fellow practitioners at the materials production center were under. A fellow practitioner working with me passed away due to illness and they didn't try to help him to improve his character. Upon further reflection, I realized that I was expecting them to be more understanding and caring about me.
After additional Fa study, I realized that the answer was to have true faith in Dafa principles and Teacher. The article, “Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)” from Essentials for Further Advancement II, indicates,
“If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist.”
The computer and printer are helpful tools for saving sentient beings. I am putting them to good use and they are doing what they can for me. I have been making my own decisions about buying materials, selecting articles, and printing the proper number of copies based on local conditions. I no longer depend on others to determine what to do.
In winter 2008, my coordinator fell into an emotional trap and told me that she had to stop doing coordination. I knew that this meant that I had to improve my character somewhere but I did not know where, thus I felt a heavy load on my shoulders. In summer 2009, five practitioners were arrested. I tried to verify what happened in the evening and upon returning I was blocked by police cars. The road was muddy and there was heavy rain and thunder. I recited the article, “The Heavens Become Clear Again” in Hong Yin II,
The Heavens shrouded in darkness, the
Earth enveloped in gloom
The thunder of the gods explodes,
dispersing the dark, dense haze
It sweeps across rotten demons who
sought to ruin the Fa
Do not say that we are short of mercy
With Teacher's help I returned home safely and was able to expose the illegal arrests on the Internet. In the past exposing such evil activities was carried out by my coordinator and me. This time she was staying with me in my home, but did not express any opinion about the incident. I decided to send the information to fellow practitioners on the Minghui website. I then showed my copy to fellow practitioners, and notified them about when we would have a group study and sharing. I thought I was doing the job of a coordinator and was not happy about it. With this negative frame of mind I spoke to my coordinator and asked her to return to her job. Naturally, this did not help.
After I studied the lecture "Be More Diligent" given in Washington, D.C. in 2010, I felt that Teacher had pushed me forward. It's like a layer of my body had been removed and I was physically and mentally relaxed. Complaints I had about other practitioners disappeared, and I realized that as a disciple, I should focus on cultivating myself and cooperate with fellow practitioners to further progress toward our main goal of saving sentient beings. I took back a printer, which was considered beyond repair, and replaced its printer head. It started working again. After I corrected my own thinking, my environment corrected itself and all tools I was using operated normally. I understood more deeply the statement, “...the appearance stems from the mind.” ("Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting")
Reflecting upon the blooming process of this small flower from a passive to an active state, from a dependent to an independent operator, and from having many human notions to being more free of human notions, I know the path I took is very narrow. However, as long as I continue to correct myself in each step I take, I can return home with Teacher. For having a path to go home, I want to thank Teacher and the support of fellow practitioners.
Please point out anything that is improper, Heshi.