(Clearwisdom.net) I am a 21-year-old practitioner, and I have been truly cultivating for nine months now. I would like to share this summary of my life and growing up, until now, and finding Falun Dafa, with the thought that reading it may help other new practitioners like me. I have thought back and forth if I should omit some of the unfavorable points in my story that involve personal information about my parents and my past, but I decided that they should be left in, so as to best describe my situation. I hope my choosing so is appropriate.
When I was growing up, my parents had a drug problem, and my father went to prison for stealing money to pay for drugs. My mother did her best to provide for me, but didn’t always do well. We moved around a lot, and I went to many different schools. Our living situation wasn’t always easy and was unstable even at the best of times. In my early teens I started smoking marijuana, and at 13 I left school and started drinking heavily. I started to use and sell drugs; I stole; I had no respect for others; I was a complete mess; and I selfishly always put my own self-interest first, without caring about others' feelings or ideas.
My mother had to leave home when I was 17 to care for her elderly mother who had just come out of hospital. I proceeded to slide downward. I became an alcoholic; I developed constant anxiety; I couldn’t sleep; I always felt I was suffocating; I had great trouble holding a conversation; I had numbness in all my extremities; my skin was cold and pale even in summer; I was dreadfully thin; I lost all will to go on living; and I felt that I would soon die.
Shortly after my 18th birthday, I decided something had to change—and fast! So I packed my car and left on a whim to pick fruit in Bowen, North Queensland. I settled into the working life and cut down on my drinking. I started to feel more at peace. I would see people meditating in the park on Saturday mornings, with a large Falun Dafa banner. I recognized the name from a petition to “Stop the Persecution of Falun Dafa Practitioners in China” that I had signed in Brisbane as a girl. I wanted to join them, but I never had the courage to approach them. On the day I was to leave, I climbed a tree in the park and watched their peaceful hand movements and reveled in their tranquil energy field.
For the next year I traveled around the country picking fruit and returned to Bowen, North Queensland, the following season. One day I sat flipping through The Bowen Tourist Guide and there was a phone number listed, “for people interested in learning Falun Gong.’’ I mustered the courage to call the number and said I wanted to learn. The man on the other end said I was more than welcome to come Tuesday and we would go through the exercises. I arrived early and there was a group of people sitting in a circle on the floor, reading from a blue book. I thought I must have gotten the time wrong, but the man I had spoken to on the phone, who was part of the group, told me that they usually read before exercising, and that since I was there, I was welcome to join in, if I wanted to. He handed me one of the intriguing blue books with gold lettering, and we began to read. It was so different from anything I had ever read! I knew in my heart that what I was reading was very true and profound, yet my mindset at that time made it hard for me to accept the principles. After we finished reading, we began the exercises. The practitioners gently corrected my movements, and as I went into the hand movement Diekou Xiaofu (overlapping the hands in front of the lower abdomen), I felt a rush of warmth flood my belly and then engulf my whole body. I opened my eyes, a little startled, and looked around the room for some kind of explanation, wondering if everyone was experiencing this feeling. Upon seeing the practitioners' eyes lightly closed, with tranquil expressions on their faces, I soon calmed down. This is when I knew Falun Dafa was special. It was also when I decided that I wouldn’t be going back to the yoga class I had been attending. After we had finished the exercises, I mentioned my experience to the male practitioner. He told me it was quite common for people to experience different sensations while doing the exercises as our bodies were being purified. As I was getting ready to leave I went to hand the copy of Zhuan Falun back to him, but he told me that it was mine to keep, and that if in a couple of weeks I decided it wasn’t for me, I could simply return it. He also told me that it was okay if I didn’t understand it all at first, that it would become clearer later. I left that evening with the intention of coming every week. Unfortunately at that time, I was unable to diligently attend the class or read, as I was still too lost in “the big dye vat of ordinary people” (Zhuan Falun). Some days I would get as far as to park my car outside the hall where we practiced and make excuses for why I was not going to go inside, and then drive off again.
I left North Queensland again and kept traveling onward. Shortly after I left, I spotted a “Falun Dafa Is Good” T-shirt hanging in the window of an older man’s mobile home that I had my camp set up next to. I got the courage to ask him about it, and he told me that he knew the group that I had practiced with in Bowen, and we did the second exercise together. Afterward, everything looked radiant and clear with a blue tinge.
For the next year I traveled around and read Zhuan Falun sporadically. I would only read a little bit and then put it down again. But all the same I was experiencing little changes. Something in me no longer wanted to drink alcohol. But I was in a lot of pain inside because I didn’t know if I would be able to give it up, as alcohol had been my main reason for living for such a long time that it seemed incomprehensible to imagine life without it, which, looking back, is so sad.
Finally, I moved to a little country town and really tried to stop. One day in town my boyfriend spotted a flier that read, “Falun Gong Workshop This Saturday.” By now I thought I had failed and missed my chance at cultivation, but my boyfriend was really interested and said that we should go, as he remembered how highly I had spoken of Falun Dafa in Bowen. I felt a light being rekindled inside me! I thought I had missed my opportunity with Dafa, but now I felt I was being given a second chance!
I still remember the morning of the workshop in July 2011. My boyfriend and I were running late, and we had to hitchhike there, as our car was at the mechanic's. Once we arrived, we practiced some of the exercise movements, which the practitioners guided us through. Then we watched Master Li’s exercise DVD. I agreed to meet with the lady practitioner in my area the following week. I made it to the practice sites diligently and was given the audio recordings of Master Li’s lectures. I was ready this time, and as I listened, it was as if I was awakening from a long and deluded dream. I suddenly saw things for how they were. I felt disgust and disbelief at the person I had once been. As I kept listening, I went home and threw my cigarettes in the bin. I also tipped my last two beers down the sink. As I kept listening, I cleared out all of the items from my home that I had stolen over the years and gave them to charity. Once I had finished cleaning up things on a superficial level, I got down to cleaning up my character. I’ve stopped hurting others; I’m now looking inward to find my shortcomings, and I make sure to judge everything with the standard of the Fa. I have the wish in my heart to constantly ascend and return to my original true nature.
As I’ve begun my transformation, my boyfriend has also started to walk his own path in Falun Dafa.
With Dafa, I have been able to recreate my whole being. I express my sincere gratitude to Teacher Li Hongzhi. Through talking to other practitioners and studying the Fa, I can now see that the whole world is indeed suffering, and I can better understand how Teacher Li Hongzhi saves sentient beings, and I can also better understand what it means to clarify the truth.
Sometimes, I’m not always as diligent as I should be. I’ll busy myself too much and fail to allocate time to read or exercise for a few days, although this usually leaves me with low energy and negative thoughts, so I quickly pick up where I left off with renewed enthusiasm. I strive to send forth righteous thoughts, study the Fa, and do the exercises every day. I always aim to see where I go wrong in everyday activities.
A lot of backpackers travel through my place of work, sometimes staying for only a few weeks. I do my exercises after work and people are often curious. I explain to them that Falun Dafa is a peaceful meditation practice based on the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and that they are welcome to join if they are interested. I’ve had a few people show interest, and I’ve printed off a couple of copies of Falun Gong in Italian to give out to people. For me, I find the most satisfying way to spend my time is to help spread Falun Dafa and to work on practitioners' projects.
Not long ago, my parents came down for my 21st birthday. They were so pleased to see how I was living, and were interested in Falun Dafa. We did the exercises together, and when they left, I gave my father a copy of the Falun Gong book. I am taking my mother to see Shen Yun in April, for her birthday. Now, four months after their visit, my father's relationship with his fiancé is much better, and my mother has finally quit smoking marijuana. When we were on the telephone, just before we hung up she said, “Falun Dafa hao—Falun Dafa is good!”
Who knows what the New Year will bring! Falun Dafa Hao!