(Minghui.org) My mother-in-law is in her seventies. She is becoming younger each day and more joyful as well. Her friends and family all admire her good fortune! She often praises me in front of others, saying, “She is the best daughter-in-law in the world.”
The reason that I am able to get along so well with my mother-in-law is due to practicing Falun Dafa since 1997. As my understanding of Dafa grew deeper and as I improved, the situation became better and better.
The conflicts between a married woman and her mother-in-law are universal. Before retiring, my mother-in-law was an outstanding elementary school teacher, and was vocally gifted. All the students and parents respected her. Because of her occupation and achievements, she developed a very strong personality and prefers to be in authority. Unfortunately, I am a top tier registered architect with my own company and I also liked to be the one calling the shots.
When my husband and I were first married, our family did not get along very well. My mother-in-law was never completely happy with us. She often said that we did not treat her well enough, and she encouraged my husband to compete with his brother to see who was the better son, as if we were elementary school students. This made me quite unhappy. Whenever the holidays rolled around, I became worried because I would always unknowingly upset my mother-in-law. When she became unhappy, the tension would drag on for days.
When I first began practicing Falun Gong, I forced myself to tolerate my mother-in-law because we practice Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I had to forbear. After I started practicing, our relationship became much better. My mother-in-law now often tells others that Falun Gong practitioners are good. When my mother-in-law saw the changes that happened to my body and mind, she began practicing as well. Unfortunately, before she could get a deeper understanding of Dafa, the persecution of Falun Gong began, in 1999. My mother-in-law stopped practicing after she was deceived by the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) propaganda.
In the thirteen years of persecution, my husband and I have had our homes ransacked, been illegally arrested and detained, sent to detention centers and brainwashing centers, and subjected to forced labor many times, simply for maintaining our faith in Falun Gong and the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. My mother and father-in-law were often very anxious, and those years caused great stress for the elderly couple.
As the practitioners in and out of China continued to clarify the truth, the international community has condemned the CCP's persecution of Falun Gong practitioners, and the environment in China slowly became less oppressive. Our lives gradually returned to normal as well. In 2010, after our house was ready, we invited my husband's parents and sister to live with us. My sister tried to talk me out of it, saying that it is very difficult for young people and the elderly to live together, and that one party would eventually move out. I am well aware of my mother-in-law's temperament, but I thought, "I am a Dafa practitioner. I should be able to let go of anything and resolve anything."
We offered the best room to the older couple and my mother-in-law was very touched. However, I still knew that no matter what I can give to another person, it would not be as good as helping them understand the greatness of Falun Dafa.
In order to help my mother-in-law understand the truth about Dafa, we bought a 900-yuan DVD player and a monitor to play her truth-clarifying disks and Dafa songs. As she listened to the songs more and more, she began to realize that the lyrics made a lot of sense, and she began learning how to sing the songs. Eventually, she nearly memorized all the songs. My mother-in-law then began practicing the exercises again. Practicing Falun Gong is quite wonderful and all practitioners have experienced this. After she resumed her practice, she enlightened to many things, and began to use Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance as a standard for herself. According to my father-in-law, she became less “fierce” and more gentle. She became healthier, many of her illnesses disappeared, her face glowed, and she was surprisingly strong.
Living with the elderly was not easy for me, as there were many things I had never considered beforehand. When we began to decorate the house, my husband, my sister-in-law, and my mother-in-law started quarreling. My husband was very proud of his interior design, but my mother-in-law deemed it worthless. In the end, my husband settled for a stylistic fusion and combined Western and Chinese elements in the interior decor. The living room wall is made up of three materials: wood, wallpaper, and marble. My mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and husband were each able to find a stylistic element that suited their taste. To avoid arguments, I didn't offer my opinion and simply went with the flow. I was happy to see that everyone in the family was content with the result.
I found that my in-laws and I are very different after we moved in together, but I tried my best to respect their habits and change myself. However, what I really did not expect and could not get over was the fact that my mother-in-law did not allow the service of maids, not even part-time ones. This was hard for me to accept because the way I saw it, hiring a nanny was a must-do when a large family lives together. The house was four floors! Our small family of three had always had a maid in the past and we almost never did the household chores. With such a big family living under one roof now, how could we function without a maid? How could I let my mother-in-law clean and cook without worrying? With my concern, I would be forced to help her with chores, and I dislike wasting time like that.
When I insisted on hiring a maid, my mother-in-law threatened to leave. She said that now that she was practicing Falun Gong again, she could be responsible for cleaning and cooking without feeling tired.
After a long time of adjustment, I finally accepted the fact that we were not hiring a maid. My mother-in-law doesn't feel content cooking alone and she enjoys cooking with me. She often dropped hints that she wanted me to help her when she was cooking. The truth is, I don't mind cooking, but I disliked my mother-in-law bossing me around and telling me what to do. Even though household chores may seem like normal tasks, they made me very irritated and uncomfortable.
I understand that as a practitioner, nothing is a coincidence. I knew I should change my mindset of not wanting to do household chores. From Teacher's lectures, I knew that I should look within myself, let go of my selfishness, and cooperate with my mother-in-law. After I let go of my attachment, the chores did not seem as difficult. Isn't helping out my mother-in-law and making her happy a great thing?
For some people, housework is the simplest task and it may not seem important enough to discuss. However, for a person like me who never did housework while growing up, it is a great way to improve. Housework is now easy for me and sometimes I feel happy doing it. After letting go of the notion that chores were difficult and a waste of time, it became more relaxing to cook with my mother-in-law. I now feel that it is my obligation. My mother-in-law forced me to change my attitude on the issue of household chores, and for that I am grateful to her. Practitioners must realize their shortcomings and fix them.
After my mother-in-law learned how to sing Dafa songs, she always sang them. When friends and relatives visited our home, she sang for them. Her voice is beautiful and she says that singing Dafa songs is wonderful, as if her voice became better by singing them. She also told her friends that Falun Gong was really good and that she regretted stopping the practice in 1999. Many friends were able to learn the truth from her.
Shortly after she began practicing, my mother-in-law stopped experiencing symptoms of hypertension, such as dizziness. The blood pressure monitor at home also showed that she was within a normal range. However, my father-in-law did not believe that the practice could cure hypertension. My mother-in-law's sister died from a stroke caused by hypertension, so he was wary of her condition. My mother-in-law was also unsure, and she often measured her blood pressure at home. She did not believe the results and asked a medical professional to help her, but the results were the same. My father-in-law still felt anxious so he bought diuretics for her. As a result, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with hypotension at the hospital after consuming the medicine. My father-in-law then let the matter go and stopped encouraging my mother-in-law to take medications. As practitioners, we know why my mother-in-law must go through this process. She had already recovered and no longer had hypertension, but she did not let go of her attachment, so Teacher was helping her understand her situation.
Because I am truthful to her and genuinely care about her, my mother-in-law really enjoys conversing with me. She likes the fact that I have opened up my heart to her. My sister-in-law and my husband are afraid to criticize my mother-in-law. But if she makes a mistake, I will tell her because I know that it is really good for her. I tell her how to treat these issues according to the Fa, and since she is a reasonable person, she will accept my words after she comes to an understanding.
My entire family is happy that I can get along well with my mother-in-law. It is a blessing for her and even more so for me. My friends are envious of my harmonious relationship with my mother-in-law.
The past winter was extremely cold so I bought seven thick sleeping robes for my in-laws, my husband, my daughter, and myself. Everyone said that the sleeping robes were very comfortable and that their bodies and hearts felt warmed.
In an age where moral standards are declining rapidly, many families are dysfunctional in different ways. Sometimes the children and the elderly are left uncared for, and everyone is self-centered, without an idea of how to be harmonious, humble, or filial. The closest family members cannot even trust each other, and many turn into enemies over money and profit. Many families live in misery.
Falun Dafa completely changed me as a person, changed my family, and allowed to me to understand the meaning of life. We are so fortunate! Our entire family is grateful to Falun Dafa and Teacher Li Hongzhi.
On the 20th anniversary of Falun Dafa's introduction, I hope that more predestined people can let go of their notions and prejudices, listen to the truth about Falun Dafa with peaceful hearts, and choose a glorious future for themselves and their families.