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A Heart-to-Heart Letter to My Husband

Aug. 16, 2013 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner from mainland China

(Minghui.org) My husband is an atheist, and very stubborn. This is a letter I wrote to him. He is against Qigong practice and cultivation. I, my son, daughter, and daughter-in-law all practice Falun Gong. After the evil CCP (Chinese Communist Party) began the persecution of Falun Gong, my husband could not even bear to hear anyone talk about "Falun Gong," "Cultivation," or "Teacher." He refused to listen to the truth about Falun Gong, and would just lose his temper. Other practitioners have tried to clarify the facts to him, all in vain.

Sometimes when he would hear about me telling others about the persecution, he would lose his temper and say disrespectful things about Dafa. When he would get upset it often took him a long time to get over it, sometimes weeks. The environment at home was depressing. I knew that this situation was not right, I also sent forth righteous thoughts many times to eliminate the evil factors behind him, but I did not see a major change or lasting results.

In mid-April of 2012, he was upset again for some petty things. I then thought about writing him a letter. I was sure that by reading my thoughts, he would not lose his temper, and would think about the words. In early May, when I noticed his mood had improved, I gave him the letter to read on my computer.

A letter for my husband:

I want to express my feelings to you, but felt that it was too much to say, and I might get flustered and forget some of my thoughts. Writing them on the computer looked like the perfect format to truly express myself. I hope that you will take the time to read and contemplate it all.

Thinking back over the more than 40 years of life's journey that we have spent together, I know that it hasn't been all bad, but the road has been a bumpy one. We grew up in different backgrounds, our personalities are very different and it has been difficult for us to live in harmony. We have often argued over petty things and you would usually win every argument. This did not seem to make you any happier than I was. After our arguments you would give me the cold shoulder. I feel the need to tell you how I have felt about all of this, over the years.

During those times, I would have several days a month where I was feeling very depressed. I felt you truly did not care about me. You would occasionally ask me what was wrong, but your manner was cold and aggressive; I could not talk to you like that. You have a short temper, and don't communicate with me. You thought I was acting that way on purpose, and it often caused more fighting. After that, we were even less communicative. It was exhausting, I felt depressed, and it was painful.

On the other hand, I didn't want to go through a divorce. So I quietly endured what I felt was unfairness, and tried to accept my fate. However, there was a wound in my heart, getting deeper all the time. There was a gap between us growing larger all the time. I was beginning to feel hatred toward you. I also felt a rebellion in me growing and the need for revenge I wanted to end our life together, but the children were young, so I stayed with you, as the resentment in my heart grew. I confided in a friend, saying I knew you had some good qualities, but I hated you. I was afraid no one could help me resolve this. I didn't know if I could ever forgive you. My thoughts were about my children, and I knew that I could never leave you and be independent until they were grown.

About the time I was going to leave you, it was our benevolent Teacher who saved me. I obtained the heavenly book Zhuan Falun. After I read it once, it truly opened my heart. I felt a sense of regaining a new life. I understood many questions in life that I never understood before. My life now had purpose, and was full of hope. I no longer felt any hatred toward others.

Teacher said in Zhuan Falun to hold ourselves against the standards of "Truth-Compassion-Forbearance" and "as a practitioner one should not fight back when being punched or insulted" (Zhuan Falun) in our cultivation, as well as

““He's right,
And I'm wrong,”
What's to dispute?”(“Who's Right, Who's Wrong” in Hong Yin III)

As Teacher's disciple, I must hold myself to Teacher's requirements. From then on, every time you lost your temper, I no longer was upset. Sometimes over some small petty thing, you would hit me, but I never fought back in any way. I had no resentment or hatred. You didn't realize that harming others equates to harming yourself. I felt pity for you. I began to look inward to see what it was I did wrong to make you upset. I tried to communicate with you about what I did wrong. You didn't think I was serious, so I stopped talking to you about it, but continued to improve myself.

While visiting with a couple in their home in 1998, they brought up the topic of our relationship. I told them I too was responsible for our problems. I said, “In the past I thought I was never wrong, and always the victim. I could only see his shortcomings. After beginning my practice of Falun Gong, I stopped looking at him like that. I came to realize that he had many good qualities.” I told them more about you and your strong points. The wife was impressed that I could talk about you like this and knew that Falun Gong was good. I had convinced her with my behavior.

It was said by ancient people that: “One should pay back a lot more for the little favor that one receives.” However, as to our Teacher who gave us new lives, you did not think about paying him back, but rather defamed him. When you saw that beating or swearing at me did not move my heart, you began to curse Teacher, knowing that was your last resort. You knew that only by doing so, can you make me sad. That's true. When I heard you cursing my Teacher, I felt truly sad, I felt sad for my Teacher, as well as you. In order to save sentient beings, my Teacher came down from the top of the cosmos, going down layer by layer, coming to this vicious world, he has suffered numerous tribulations and undertaken enormous sins for sentient beings. Master has done things that no divine beings could ever do. His saving grace goes out to the entire universe. Even so, he was viciously cursed by you, how can I not feel sad for him?! You only cared about showing your anger, by ruthlessly condemning Teacher and Dafa. Did you know what kind of consequences it'd bring to you? I'm telling you, my Teacher is the Lord Buddha who created everything in the cosmos, including you.

As to the Lord Buddha who created your life, you dare to swear at him; do you think you have a future? Teacher said in “Definitive Conclusion”:

"When a life is paying for that bad karma, the pain from its being eliminated layer after layer will be eternal and endless." (Essentials for Further Advancement)

How can I not feel sad for you? Of course, it hasn't ended yet, so you still have a chance. For me to tell you the truth now, if you can wake up and write down your solemn declaration, you can still be saved. Only because my Teacher's mighty virtue is enormous.

When talking about cultivation, this is something you laughed at. Influenced by atheism, anything that is beyond your knowledge, you don't believe, nor do you want to listen, or think about. In your eyes, it can't be true that through one's cultivation, one reaches consummation. You say those practitioners were either backward and ridiculous, or they are not satisfied with their lives, perhaps having mental problems.

Is that true? If so, then why in history, were there many people who left home to pursue the Dao? If that were the case, why did Buddha Shakyamuni leave his post as a prince to wander about in the human world begging for food? Cultivation in the past was this way. The author in the Journey to the West said:"One's life is hard to obtain, it is hard to be born in mainland China, it's hard to obtain the righteous Fa." The fortunate thing is that we can be saved by the Master during the Fa-Rectification period. We can be Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples, assisting Master in the Fa-rectification when the cosmos is going through transformation for the first time in history. How could anyone not treasure this cultivation opportunity which only comes by in aeon ages?

However, you didn't pay any attention to my cultivation at all. Whoever tried to explain the truth about Dafa to you, you would not listen. Ancient people even said things like "hearing different opinions will make one wise," how can you possibly be this stubborn? Only because of that, I began to use this opportunity to communicate with you. If I still didn't talk to you, I would be harming you, seeking revenge. I could no longer live with a clear conscience if I didn't try to save you. If I could not save you, it would be my eternal regret.

Please, think it over. The CCP has been ruling China for more than 60 years. It has been persecuting its own people, even including the former Chairman of the county. He was stepped on and destroyed overnight. The persecution of Falun Gong is the same. The evil dictator had wildly claimed they would "eradicate Falun Gong within three months." However, did it happen? After having been through over ten years of brutal persecution, Falun Gong has not been eliminated, but instead keeps growing. Now it has been spread to more than 100 countries.

Why has the persecution been losing power when facing Falun Gong? Because Falun Gong is Buddha law. For humans to try to eliminate Buddha law, isn't that a dead end? That's how the saying "heaven will eliminate the CCP" started. It turned out that the CCP has brought about its own destruction by attacking Buddha law.

Practitioners encouraging people to quit the Party is saving people; it's something truly benevolent. Because the CCP is very evil, its elimination by heaven is inevitable. Once a person joins its organization, he or she would become part of it. When heaven eliminates the CCP, one has to go along with it, which is a life's fundamental disintegration. It's very frightening. Because Gods and Buddhas are compassionate to people, they give people the choice to live, by quitting the Party. Only if one quits the evil CCP and its affiliated organizations from their hearts, can they stay away from the evil and be blessed by Gods. Gods only look at human hearts, they don't pay attention to the format. For one to use an alias to quit the party is the same as using one's real name. Therefore, there have been more than one hundred million people quitting the party as well as its affiliated organizations.

The reason why I wrote this letter to you is in hopes that you'll have a change of heart, treat Dafa and practitioners kindly, and remember "Falun Dafa is wonderful, Truth-Compassion-Forbearance is wonderful!" Choose a bright future for yourself, which is a very serious and important thing. Of course if you still don't want to believe me, I can't do anything about it. I have done what I can. Which is to say, we have come to the critical moment in history, there is not much time left. I hope you will choose goodness!

******

After my husband read this letter on the computer, he saved it to his jump-drive. After that, even though he did not say anything, the impact on him was huge, which can be seen by his actions. From then on, he controlled his temper. He also now does many of the household chores, so that I have more time to study Falun Gong and go out to inform people about the persecution. He began to show that he cared about me on a daily basis. He has even mentioned in front of relatives that he felt bad for the way he used to treat me.

I attribute this to the power of Dafa!