(Minghui.org) Master said:
“Only when you are studying the Fa and cultivating your heart and mind in addition to the means of reaching Consummation—the exercises, and truly changing yourself fundamentally while improving your xinxing and elevating your level—can it be called true cultivation practice.” (“What is Cultivation Practice?” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
True cultivation can be very hard because it is difficult to let go of attachments and balance family life as we strive to awaken people to the truth of Falun Dafa. However, as a practitioner, one must cultivate well. In the following pages, I want to share my cultivation experiences with fellow practitioners.
In the spring of 2001, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP)'s persecution of Falun Gong became unprecedentedly desperate. Many practitioners in our area were arrested. My wife, who was not a cultivator, was afraid. She joined with my parents, my daughter, and my son-in-law in trying to force me to give up the practice. At that time I did not know what to do. After much thought, I decided to keep practicing Falun Gong.
One night several days later, I told my wife, “I have decided to continue to practice Falun Gong, but I understand your concern. In consideration of your safety, and to prevent potential future financial losses, you can choose to get a divorce or we can separate. My situation would then not affect you.” She said, "Let's go get a divorce tomorrow then!" However, she never mentioned divorce again and did not attempt to stop me from practicing Falun Gong.
A year later, my wife told me that she wanted to practice Buddhism, so she went to visit different temples. One day, she came back and told me, “I want to take the Bodhisattva vow. Bodhisattva Precepts require those who have taken the vow to discard lust even between husband and wife.” With this vow, she was again trying to stop me from practicing Falun Gong. I responded, “Well, cultivators should discard lust.” After that she spent much less time at home. I was not moved, and we rarely experienced any problems with interference from each other’s practice.
Four years later, my wife suggested we go to a bath house together and scrub the dirt off each other. We went to a high grade single room. I restrained myself with strong willpower for almost an hour, and finally I overcame the test of lust.
After that, I found that, with Master’s help, my attachment to lust was gone, and I have never been disturbed by lust since. It was really as Master said, "Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master." (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun)
As I kept correcting myself and elevating myself through learning the Fa, my wife was also changing. Now she supports me learning the Fa and also helps the people who believe in Buddhism to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
One night while I was doing the wheel-holding exercise, I suddenly felt dizzy and could not stand. I lost consciousness as soon as I turned on the light. When I came to, the first thought that came to me was that I would not let anything interfere with my practice; if I could not do the standing exercise I would do the sitting meditation or send righteous thoughts. I was exhausted and sweat so much my clothes were wet. I did about 40 minutes of the sitting meditation and then went to sleep. The next morning I was fine.
Another time, after I had finished reading the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Partyfor the third time, I suddenly started having symptoms of sickness karma. Aching all over, I fell into bed and could not move. I was not afraid--I just thought, “Don’t let my wife and children return home from out of town, as they will not be able to help me.” As soon as I had this thought, I ached less, but I still could not move. I lay in bed, without any food or drink, for three days and nights. On the fourth day I returned to normal.
In regard to sickness karma, I came to understand that a practitioner should look inside for reasons to improve his xinxing, following the principles of the Fa. If the reason cannot be discerned, the person should still try his best to do the three things well. Master has already eliminated half of a practitioner’s karma when he begins cultivation. Master has arranged the practitioner's remaining karma along the path of his cultivation for him to improve his xinxing. Once the practitioner improves his xinxing, Master will help him to eliminate the karma.
When practitioners firmly believe in Dafa, the evil is defeated. During the 15 years of my cultivation, evil beings have repeatedly tried to interfere with me. Since I did not acknowledge the persecution, they did not dare to arrest and detain me.
At the end of 2001, I was selling my merchandise at my stall in the market, when a police officer came over and asked, “Would you please come to the police department? We just need to talk.” I said, “I'm doing business now. We can talk here.” He said, “Go to the police department. After a few words you can come back.” I said, “I have to make a living. If you insist, you can pay me 200 yuan as compensation for my losses today. Also, you will need to wait for me to pack up my stall before I can go with you.”
The officer did not know how to respond. He hesitated for a moment and then left. The next day I heard that the police had a list of practitioners’ names and they had gone to look for each one. Those who went to the police department were detained. Their families were forced to pay a 2,000-yuan deposit, and the practitioners were ordered to promise not to go to Beijing to appeal. If the family did not pay, the practitioner would not be allowed to go home.
On the third day of the 2000 Chinese New Year, I went to visit my parents. At that time all practitioners were ordered not to go anywhere without authorization. My parents lived nine kilometers away. When I arrived at the neighborhood near my mother's home, a car stopped in front of me and five people got out. They wanted me to return home.
I asked, “You have parents, don't you? Don't you visit them during the New Year?” The leader allowed me to visit my mother accompanied by one of his men, a young man called Wang. Wang declined to eat with us and seemed anxious to go to the home of his own family to visit.
I agreed to leave my parents early so Mr. Wang could see his family as well. Later, the young man’s sister said to me, “My brother told me that you have a very good sense of obligation. You kindly allowed him to visit his family." I said, "Our Falun Gong practitioners always consider others first!"
One day when I read:
“Live with no pursuit,Die not caring about staying;Clear out all wild thoughts,Cultivating to a Buddha is not hard.”("Nonexistence" in Hong Yin)
I came to understand that, in letting go of the attachment to life and death, letting go of life is the most difficult. Fame, profit, and sentiments in the human world are all about living. If a person could “live with no pursuit,” he would be able to “die not caring about staying,” and then, for him, cultivating to a Buddha would not be difficult.
Since then, this Fa has been imprinted in my mind, and this understanding made me take the things in this world much more lightly. Even eating became simpler; I ate two meals a day and only one if I was busy. I used all the money I saved to do the three things. I noticed that something amazing was happening--money kept coming my way!
Around 2009, I noticed that we were not being interfered with as often, and life seemed easier. However, some of our local practitioners seemed to view things with an ordinary mentality. Some looked down on each other, and conflicts among them occurred more often. I saw the potential danger and went to discuss the situation with two of the coordinators.
They said to me, “This is your ordinary people’s understanding, your notion is incorrect.” I failed to hold my temper and argued with them. Finally, the coordinators said, “Look at your own attitude, is it based on the Fa?” I was speechless. Later, I talked to another practitioner. He told me that I should not keep insisting on my own point of view. Otherwise, many practitioners would think that I was aiming for a coordinator's position.
In 2010, from summer to fall, five practitioners passed away from illness karma, and one of them was a coordinator. By the end of the year, ten practitioners were arrested. The practitioners who were not diligent were frightened and unwilling to come out. And I was still looking outward, thinking that these happenings were due to the notions of other practitioners.
In light of these painful experiences, I tried to read the Fa with a calm mind. I came to understand why fellow practitioners did not listen to my concerns when I read Master's words, “'Zhen' contains 'Zhen, Shan, Ren.' 'Shan' contains 'Zhen, Shan, Ren,' too. And 'Ren' also contains 'Zhen, Shan, Ren.'” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia” in 1999)
It was because I had not yet achieved true benevolence. My intent was to make them change their minds. I was attached to my own understanding of the Fa, thinking I cultivated better than others. That attachment, if not discarded, would interfere with our ability to form one body.
After discovering my attachments, I started working on discarding them. I took the initiative to cooperate with fellow practitioners when they needed help doing the three things. When I made these changes in myself, I noticed that many fellow practitioners started coming out again.
I am grateful for the cooperation of my fellow practitioners while we are working on projects together. I am thankful for Master's encouragement and strengthening!