From Utter Despair to a World of Incomparable Beauty
(Minghui.org) My name is Ming Ming. Even though I'm only 19 this year, I've experienced great hardship in life. Our great compassionate Master saved me, delivering me from hopelessness to a world of incomparable beauty.
When I was little, I was very smart and cute. I was the type of little girl that everyone loves. I was brought up by my grandparents because my parents worked abroad. They only came back during the New Year and our family would reunite.
When I was 12, I got psoriasis (a type of inflammatory skin disease). My family took me to many places for treatment. I took all kinds of medicines, but to no avail.
The summer and winter months were the worst. I couldn't wear short sleeves like other girls, or put on pretty skirts. With my skin exposed, I was embarrassed by my condition, and I could sense people were uncomfortable when getting near me.
I became self-conscious and had low self-esteem, becoming quiet and depressed especially in winter, when the psoriasis was at its worst. The parts of my body that were affected started cracking and splitting, creating wounds that bled.
Later, I stopped going to school and stayed at home due to illness. The itching irritated me from my skin to deep within my bones. It was so painful that I wished for death. I didn't have the courage to keep on living and was constantly thinking about death. But I vaguely had a feeling that there were still lots of important things waiting for me to do, things that I had to complete.
In October 2013, my sister took me to a hospital in Beijing. The doctor suggested I shave my hair off due to the severity of my illness. I was shocked when I saw myself in the mirror afterwards. Did I still look like a human? There were layers and layers of white stuff covering my bare head.
After staying in Beijing for a while, there was still no obvious recovery. Because it was almost the Chinese New Year's holiday, I put on a hat and returned home with my sister, carrying a bag full of medicine.
Less than two days after returning home, the psoriasis started spreading quickly. This time it was even more serious than before. The inflammation was now visible on 95 % of my body. The small red dots on my face were spreading rapidly, and covered my whole face. I looked like a monster.
When I was at my lowest point and filled with utter despair, four words emerged in my mind: “I want to die.” I told my family through tears, “I don't want to live anymore. Even if I live, it'd be shameful to show my face to others. You guys don't know the pain and misery I'm in. It's a living death!” My family helplessly watched me suffering.
Before the Chinese New Year, my parents went to my uncle's house for dinner. When my uncle asked about my illness, my mom shed tears and said, “You haven't seen her condition, there is virtually not one bit of healthy skin left on her body. It's awful. I really don't know what to do about it.” My uncle told them that Dafa could save me.
Early last year, my uncle had given me a Falun Gong symbol and told me that if I read the characters on it my disease would be cured. I didn't take it to heart.
When my sister and I went to the hospital in Beijing, I got bored so I took out the symbol and looked at it, reading the words. After reading it a few times, all I could think about were those words. When I shut my eyes, I could still see them, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I could understand that “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” but I don't know what “Falun Dafa is good” meant.
Out of curiosity I used the Internet on my phone to search “Falun Dafa.” The results I found were all negative and against Dafa, bad-mouthing the practice. I thought, why would uncle endanger me? I told my sister and she did a search on the internet.
Because my sister was influenced by the propaganda on the Internet, she got scared and threw away the symbol without telling me. After a few days, my sister told me what she did and said, “During the few days when you were reading those characters, you looked like you were happy.”
A few days later, my uncle came to my house and introduced Falun Gong to me. He asked me, “Do you want to recover from your illness?” I recalled the negative things I read about Falun Gong on the Internet and wondered if my uncle would harm me. But I saw that his attitude was sincere and honest. I said, “Of course I want to, but what good would it be just thinking about it?” Uncle said, “If you want to be healthy, then just practice Falun Gong!” I hesitated for a moment and, with a little disbelief, asked, “Can Falun Gong really save me?”
Uncle gave me a few CDs and brochures. He also helped my family to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and it's related organizations.
When he left, my neighbor warned my dad not to practice it. My parents got scared and forbade me to practice. Grandma also urged me not to take up the practice. I was very depressed. Some say it's good, some say it's bad. Should I practice it or not?
I decided to practice. I wanted to be healthy and I'd lost hope in medicine. That night, I went through the information on Falun Gong that my uncle gave me and I suddenly realized that what I saw online was all slander and lies.
I really wanted to start practicing Falun Dafa, but my parents wouldn't allow me. My dad even repeated the CCP's lies. I was shocked and asked, “Dad, do you know Mr. Li Hongzhi?” Dad said that the newspapers and television were constantly talking about him. I said, “He is a good person. He's been framed. I want to practice Falun Gong.”
Grandma said to my parents: “If she wants to practice, then let her. Let her decide. Her condition is already so advanced. What if she practices and gets better?” My parents finally agreed to let me to take up the practice.
After the Chinese New Year, through my uncle, I finally got a copy of Zhuan Falun as well as other brochures from a fellow practitioner.
I went home, opened the book and saw a photo of Master. I told my family: “He looks so compassionate. It's nothing like what is said on the Internet.”
I read Zhuan Falun every day. The hundreds of questions that I had before were all answered within this book. For example, everyone eventually dies. So why do people want to live here on earth? What are humans, people, actually here for? Zhuan Falun answered all my questions about life.
Zhuan Falun helped me understand the true reason for being a human. One should follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in life. This is truly mankind's greatest treasure!
Yet some people still can't recognize the goodness of Dafa. They even want to destroy it. I now know the reason I had the feeling that there was still something significant for me to accomplish. It is actually Dafa. I came here to have my destiny entwined with Master--the reason I'm here is to receive the Fa. I live for the Fa. Without the Fa, there is no me. To this day, Dafa is the most precious thing to me. It's the thing that I've been searching for.
After cultivating Dafa for less than a month, my sickness was under control. My body didn't itch and my unhealthy skin began flaking off. Now, my whole body is growing soft, pink skin. It was like I had shaken off a shell. I regained my youthful spirit and energy. Grandma witnessed the miracle of Falun Dafa and also supported me in practicing it.
Not long after learning the Fa, I discovered my many attachments and shortcomings. I really long to see Master. When I think of Master, I tell myself, “Cultivate well and you'll be able to see Master every day.” Thank you Master for your meticulous arrangement and giving me everything I have now. I will definitely cultivate with determination, so that you won't have to worry too much for me.
I bow to compassionate and magnificent Master! Thank you, Master!