(Minghui.org) During my cultivation practice in Dafa for over 10 years, I have gone through many things and come to understand many Fa principles. I have come to understand the real meaning of life and learned that all we have lived through in the past was merely preparation for today's Fa-rectification period cultivation practice.
I. Beautiful Childhood Memories
I was born to a poor family in Northern China in 1973. My grandmother and father told me stories of reincarnation, fortune, and luck since my earliest memories. I believed those stories and longed for the ones about deities and cultivation practice.
When I was five to eight years old, I would wake up and look at the dark ceiling. Beautiful scenery would emerge on the ceiling, such as exquisite pavilions through which heavenly maidens flew with extreme lightness. At other times, I saw shimmering beautiful flowers blooming and spinning. One day, I saw a radiant purple flower spinning. I stared at it for a while, but nothing else happened. I got bored and fell back to sleep. I woke up and saw it still spinning, I thought, “How come the flower doesn't change!”
Sometimes, as soon as I looked down on the ground, groups after groups of people would emerge to perform for me. Some were dressed like clowns; some were holding rattle drums, and some looked like Westerners. Their performances were so entertaining that I watched them with great interest. What is carved in my memory is a group of pretty girls in pink clothing holding hands dancing; they formed a circle and bent backwards like a flower blooming. It was very beautiful.
Scenes like these became less frequent as I grew up to school age. While working in the field or picking wild vegetables, I occasionally saw deities above my head when I looked up. However, they would be gone as soon as I tried to take a closer look. I felt deities were watching me, but I didn't know who they were. When I attended elementary school, which was a mile away from home, there was a graveyard between school and home. Every time I passed the graveyard by myself, I ran as fast as I could. I knew there was a deity following me riding a piece of cloud, and this deity would stop as soon as I stopped. I breathed heavily and thought, “Thank goodness I have company. Thank you. Now you don't have to follow me anymore, because I'm no longer afraid.” But the deity still followed me riding the piece of cloud.
Many times I could feel I was being watched. Now I know Master started protecting me then. Seeing all kinds of things when I was little, I thought others could see them too. Therefore I never felt it was anything unusual.
II. Predestined Return for the Righteous Fa
Qigong was very popular in the 1980s. My brother brought home all kinds of qigong books, and I read many of them by the 4th or 5th grade. I chose a qigong to practice in 5th grade and very soon started to see lights and hear sounds in a certain frequency from the universe. Before long, six to seven furry animals, including weasels and squirrels, appeared before me, and I could see them very clearly. Knowing they wanted to enter my body through my third eye, I became very scared and thought, “Don't come in. I don't like you.” The scene disappeared, and feeling frightened, I stopped practicing that qigong. Sometime after that, I wanted to practice qigong again. So I found another qigong to practice. Soon the same thing happened, and I stopped again. This happened several times. I was disturbed by the phenomena and didn't know why. I thought, “People who have great inborn quality have a chance to be selected by a master. I don't expect myself to be that good and lucky. I would be extremely grateful if a master could enlighten me just a tiny little bit.” I knew there was spiritual cultivation of the mind out there, but what is it? Perhaps it's top secret!
By the third year of junior high school, I was exposed to Buddha school qigong. It was a mixture of several qigongs in one book. I liked Buddha school qigong and decided to practice it seriously. Since I was too busy with schoolwork to practice sitting meditation or chanting the Buddha’s name, I kept holding a wish to become a cultivator. I envisioned myself to be living in a hut in the mountains and cultivating in solitude, dressed in ancient clothing, quiet and away from the world.
It should be said that education in China is bad. It breaks the ties between man and Gods by preaching atheism. It makes people abandon their inner wisdom, leaving them depressed and lost. As a result, people begin paying more and more attention to reality, and distancing themselves from soul searching. That's why I became unable to see anything in other dimensions since junior high school. In college, since I had more spare time, I was able to sit in meditation or chant the Buddha's name once in a while. I sometimes went to the garden at 5:00 a.m. and found a quiet spot to sit in meditation. When I opened my eyes again, I thought I had sat for 10 minutes, but my watch told me it was almost 8:00 a.m. I would get up and run to class as fast as I could. I yearned for that peacefulness in my heart and hated the hustle and bustle of the world.
In the crowd, I was a kind and sensitive person. If someone hurt me, my heart would feel broken. I wouldn't seek revenge, nor explain myself if I was misunderstood. I would just quietly watch my wound and let it take time to heal.
In the spring of 1996, I was in the second half of my sophomore year. My vision suddenly started to decline. The doctor said I had astigmatism and gave me a pair of glasses. This helped for only a couple of days. Then I got a new pair of glasses, and the results repeated. My vision deteriorated so fast that I started getting a headache. My temples felt swollen, and my eyes became sensitive to light. I sat in the first row in class and still couldn't see anything on the blackboard. I went to see a traditional Chinese medicine doctor and was prescribed some Chinese herbal medicine. Each treatment lasted 40 days with one dose per day, and each dose cost 16 Yuan. Moreover, the result was not guaranteed. My family was poor, and I didn't want to burden my parents. So I decided to make do with what I had. I listened to lectures without looking at the blackboard, and I squinted while walking. I bought some Chinese medicine pills, which didn't work. Sometimes I thought, “If I'm going blind, I will have to learn Braille because I'm so fond of reading. How could this be happening to me?” And tears would stream down my face. Holding the Buddha school qigong book in my hand, my heart was already desperate. I thought, “Where is my path? Is my fate really going to fall into the abyss?” I didn't want to believe it, but I couldn't do anything to change it.
At this time my roommate's boyfriend said to me, “Please try practicing Falun Gong. I know someone who practices Falun Gong. He's a senior. He said Falun Gong is great. He has tried other qigong practices before, and he said Falun Gong is the best.” I shook my head and responded, “The Buddha School qigong that I have chosen is already the best, yet it doesn't work.” He persisted, “That senior said that other qigong practices are all low-level.” I wasn't convinced and developed a competitive mentality. I thought, “I don't believe this. I'll buy the book and see how high-level Falun Gong is.” I went to the bookstore, bought a copy of Falun Gong, and went to the self-study hall to read it in the evening. I finished reading the book in two hours in one sitting and was completely convinced by the principles articulated in the book. Also to my surprise, the pain in my head and eyes was gone. I normally could only read 10 minutes in one sitting because of the pain. I was delighted beyond words. I thought, “I've never seen any master who can explain the principles so clearly and thoroughly. It is indeed the Fa of High Virtue. I will stick with Falun Gong from now on.”
Looking at the picture of Master sitting on a lotus flower seat on the front cover, a wonderful feeling filled my heart. I told myself, “This is the Master I have been looking for. The Fa principles have been unfolded to me, which are Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.” My heart was filled with light, and I felt like flying. I will never forget that most important day of my life – June 22, 1996. On that day, I gained a new life and finally ended my years of arduous searching. That day, I was reading the book as if quenching my thirst. I not only understood the Fa principles, my realm of thought also ascended to a higher level. I felt my body being cleansed and washed by warm currents from time to time. I later learned this is called 'guanding', which means Master was purifying my body for me.
Before I started practicing Falun Gong, I often had the feeling of being lost in a vast wilderness and unable to find my way home. I was anxious, lonely and helpless, and all I could see was endless darkness. Sometimes I woke up with fear from dreams like this. But on this day, I knew I was no longer a lost child, because I have found my way home. My eyes were filled with tears of gratitude, and my heart was filled with excitement. I had a taste of the heart overlooking the vast expanse and the world with a smile, and felt the pleasure of it. That night, on my way back to the dorm, for the first time I felt I was extremely tall and my body was light as if I was going to fly.
The next morning, I went to the garden to practice the standing exercises. In the evening, a fellow practitioner came to me and taught me the sitting meditation.
Later on I went to the practice site. During the practice, I saw Master's law body adjusting my body and putting a shield around me. One night, while practicing the sitting meditation, I saw Vajras, Tathagatas, and Buddhas passing before me quickly, and then Master appeared. Master was wearing a kasaya, looking at me with mercy.
Very soon after, I was able to see things through a wall and see through a human body. When a person was walking toward me and saying hello, I could see the organs moving inside his body. While walking in the hallway, I could see money and bankbooks in their secret places in other dorms.
I also developed the telepathic ability. One day, as I was watching Master's lecture video with two dozen people in a room, suddenly I knew all their thoughts. Some were thinking about everyday people's matters and developed black substances; those who were paying attention to the lecture had lights above their head. While doing the exercises, I saw lotus flowers all over the ground, and I was standing atop a lotus pond filled with crystal clear water.
In Spring 1999, we established a practice site at the entrance to the college. It was very cold; my hands felt painful without gloves. I thought, “It's OK.” Soon, I felt small Faluns rotating on my hands, feeling very warm. At the practice site, we would do the Falun Standing Stance at the end of the standing exercises. One day, for some reason, I couldn't put my hands down toward the end, so I had to continue holding the wheels by both sides of my head. In a little while, a man walked over to ask about the practice time, and a fellow practitioner told him. As soon as he left, my hands went down naturally. I smiled, as it turned out, I was waiting for that person with a predestined relationship!
Practicing cultivation in Dafa, one's progress is rapid. I could see the color changes of my own body, which happened once every two or three days. I was amazed at the speed. In 1997, we went to join the major practice site to commemorate the fifth anniversary of Master's lecture in our local area. During the practice, I saw many Tathagatas, Buddhas and Gods surrounding Master above the exercise site. Master lifted His hand, His golden arm extended very far and passed in front of me quickly. I immediately felt lightness in my abdominal area, and I knew Master had taken away bad substances from me. I used to have digestion problems and dysmenorrhea, and both were gone from then on. I also saw a large door wide open. I couldn't help wondering, “How come this door is open this wide!”
It was on the second floor in a lecture hall where we practiced the sitting meditation. The lecture hall on the first floor was taken by people practicing other qigong. During the meditation, I saw people downstairs having more than half of their up-bodies possessed by animal spirits, which was very scary. Speaking of possession qigong, there were simply too many in the qigong community in the 1980s and 1990s. In 1996, I met a bookstore owner who was a very nice elderly man. He told me the following. When qigong was at its peak of popularity, he practiced one that was very popular at the time. Three to four hundred people were practicing together in a stadium. Suddenly, instead of seeing 300 to 400 people practicing, he saw 300 to 400 giant rats practicing. He was so frightened that he stopped his movements right away. His mouth became unresponsive, and he stood frozen until the end. As he walked home, half way home his body became unresponsive and he became paralyzed. He was carried home and was bedridden after that. Six months later, he was introduced to Falun Gong and listened to Master Li's lecture recordings and read the book. Then he could get out of bed and practice the Falun Gong exercises. Soon after he fully recovered. The incident was a big shock to his daughter, who then worshiped Master's portrait by burning incense, kowtowing, and offering fruits often. She told me, “I am too busy to practice Falun Gong, but I am convinced that Master Li is the Living Buddha, the real Living Buddha.” Since I practiced cultivation in Dafa, I have come to realize that many of the qigong practices that I had chosen were also possession qigong practices. I cherish having finally obtained the righteous Fa (after years of searching) and becoming a disciple of our Esteemed Master.
III. Large Golden Characters, “Going to Save People Now!”
Sometimes, as I read Zhuan Falun, the characters changed to gold with very simple strokes; or a bright energy current emerged from behind the characters. When I read out loud, colorful things similar to flowers would flow out of my mouth, and after looking closer, discovered they were Falun. One day, while reading Zhuan Falun, a big Falun emerged with a vast world inside. In that world were the arrangements for the attachments to be removed that day. Sometimes, an attachment is removed without us even knowing it, it is arranged with so much intricacy and meticulousness that every tiny detail is interrelated.
When reading Hong Yin, I also took a good look at the pictures drawn underneath each poem. They are all Buddhas, Daos and Gods with boundless radiance. I have come to know them by name: there is Pipa Goddess, whose Pipa radiates brilliant lights and produces pleasant heavenly sound that washes away dust and brings back light; Listening Buddha, whose ears are gigantic with a vast world in it, listens carefully to the sentient beings; Great Dauntless King; and Goddess of Spiritual Perception who holds the Flower of Spiritual Perception in her hand. There is also Buddha with a Flower, King of Mighty Virtues, His Holiness the Supernatural, etc. They have been following our Esteemed Master's arrangements and playing the role they are supposed to in Fa-rectification.
One day, I was looking at the first picture in Hong Yin III, and a lotus flower suddenly appeared on the Buddha, and then it turned into thousands of golden lotus flowers. Pavilions, towers, and temples swiftly emerged. It was so beautiful and magnificent that I cannot describe it with words.
Sometimes I could feel our improvements while sharing understandings of the Fa principles among fellow practitioners. One day I saw the sentient beings in my world cheering with joy. Oftentimes, I see Gods watching us, and sometimes they are moved to tears. The tears started out bright and clear, then became heavy and thick as they came down. While my fellow practitioner was reciting the Fa and I was holding the book to help ensure correctness, I saw heavenly beauties casting flowers about in midair.
One day, while sending forth righteous thoughts for a fellow practitioner who was going to distribute truth-clarification materials in the country, I saw evil beings in other dimension deploying a plot to interfere with the fellow practitioner. A rabbit-shaped devil mumbled while urgently delivering the message, “I must be careful. As soon as those fellows (Dafa disciples) come over, their strong thoughts will kill me instantly. I will bully a weak one, if I can find one.” I eliminated these evil beings. I then saw the practitioner's vehicle going fast and smooth, and large pink lotus flowers blossoming one after another on the road when the vehicle passed. Two flares shot up into the sky and exploded like beautiful flowers, with several gold characters appearing, “Going to save people now, going to save people now!”
One day we went out of town to visit a fellow practitioner who was suffering an attack of sickness karma. On our way back, the bus suddenly pulled over, and the driver got out and began tussling with someone. The other person was drunk and half-naked, holding his pants to keep them from falling off. A blue truck was parked in the middle of the road, of which he was the driver. One fellow practitioner suggested that we send forth righteous thoughts to let them stop fighting so we could keep going. Soon, the driver came back to his seat. I wanted to find out what had just happened; so I used a supernormal power to see a few minutes back. I saw that while our bus was traveling on the road, a truck was running toward it from a side road. The driver of the truck was controlled by bloodthirsty demons and was going to frantically crash into our bus. In a split second, a golden Falun shielded our bus and both vehicles were stopped. I thought, “We caught this bus in quite a hurry, what if we took the next bus?” I checked again and saw another truck going to crash that bus too at the same intersection. This is what demons do. It is Master who has protected the disciples as well as all the passengers on the bus.
I saw many Gods kneeling down in front of Master, and Master was gazing at the world solemnly, in silence.
IV. Everything Has a Soul
After practicing cultivation, one joy for me is being able to see a wonderful world in which everything has life and feelings. Master said in Zhuan Falun, “When your Celestial Eye reaches the level of Fa Eyesight, you will find that rocks, walls, or anything can talk to you and greet you.” (“Lecture Seven”) I have had real experiences of this during cultivation practice.
One day, I went to a fellow practitioner's home where truth-clarification materials were being printed. When he was having a meal, I sat by the printer watching it. At the time my stomach wasn't feeling very well. The printer opened its mouth, “You have an upset stomach.” I answered, “Yes. How did you know?” It chuckled, but didn't answer and kept working. I asked, “Do you ever have stomach problems?” It said, “No. But when my owner has xinxing issues, I become lazy.” I asked, “What attachments does he have?” It said, “He is a perfectionist and always wants to be perfect.” I pondered and started looking inside for my attachments and sending forth righteous thoughts. Soon my stomach problem was gone. The practitioner walked in, and I told him about my conversation with the printer. He laughed, “It's wrong. Dafa's truth-clarification materials must be perfect. It wants to slack off, because I'm using a high quality setting this time.” The printer blushed, and I couldn't help laughing. I know sometimes the printer gets tired and has a sore shoulder. If the fellow practitioner talked to it and encouraged it, it would become happier and work harder. After all, it is a life that came for the Fa, why not help strengthen its righteous thoughts?
A fellow practitioner's computer monitor had problems. We sent forth righteous thoughts toward it. I saw a beautiful girl in green was tied up by evil beings and trampled underfoot, and was begging me for help. I eliminated those evil beings and she got up, saying, “Now I'm feeling much better.” After sending forth righteous thoughts, the practitioner turned on the computer and monitor, and everything worked again. Sometimes when our Fa instruments stop working, it is because the evil elements are interfering. Practitioners tend to look for reasons technically, but the reasons may not completely be technical, they can be related to xinxing or evil elements' interference which should be eliminated with righteous thoughts.
I have some toys at home. They don't like to be boxed, so I put them on display. Sometimes they talk with me. Sometimes they watch the cartoons with my daughter seriously. When I blocked their view while cleaning the room, they became very anxious. Additionally, they can see Falun. They are no ordinary lives!
My family bought a microwave oven. I was studying the user's manual. It said to me, “I will bring you a lot of convenience.”
My family bought an automatic washing machine which was all new to me. I felt it consumes too much water, so I came up with an idea to save water. I first hand-washed the clothes in a basin, then rinsed them in the washer by hand, and took them out without starting the washer. Every part of the washer became very confused and looked at each other, and the bigger part asked me, “What is this program?” I told it I had already washed the clothes clean, that I only needed to rinse them here before hanging them up. They listened, pondered a little while and said to me sincerely, “You are very economic.” I was a bit embarrassed.
When I went out to distribute truth-clarification materials, cars parked along the street asked me for a copy. The two headlights of the cars are their eyes. The house's front doors also asked for a copy, and they looked a little different than the cars. One day, while passing a car, I heard its owner yelling in the yard, obviously drunk; so I wanted to skip him. The car sad, “Please give me a copy! My owner is a nice guy.” After I ran out of materials, when the doors asked for it, I had to apologize to them, “Sorry. Next time!”
When we went to distribute Shen Yun DVDs in the country, Gods rode a piece of cloud to follow and watch us. Walking on the country road, ducks got out of the water, lined up and wobbled toward us. The lead duck greeted, “How are you!” I told them to remember “Falun Dafa is good,” they said, “Thank you!” As we walked, we saw three cows eating grass, we also told them to remember “Falun Dafa is good.” A cow raised her head and said in a deep voice, “We know now. Thank you.”
One day, a fellow practitioner drove us in his car to the countryside to clarify the facts, distribute Shen Yun DVDs, and put up truth-clarification self-adhesive fliers. While I was putting a flyer on an electric pole, another practitioner was doing the same on another pole. The pole started talking, saying, “First came a short one, then came a tall one.” Looking at the poles from the car, the poles that had truth-clarification flyers on them suddenly looked very beautiful. They showed off to other lives around them, radiant with delight, “Look, I have truth on me. How pretty! I'm the wealthiest.”
When I was distributing Shen Yun DVDs in a residential area, there were three apartments on a floor. I gave my last two copies to two apartments and thought, “I'll do the third one next time.” Next time when I passed the door, it said, “You haven't given me a disc yet.” I said, “I don't have it today. I'll bring one next time.” I thought to myself, “How would you watch it?” It answered, “I cannot watch it, but I can listen to it!” When I put one on it the next time, it said sincerely, “Thank you. You are a woman of your word.”
I often visited a fellow practitioner and passed a wall on my way. The wall always greets me, “How are you!” One day as I was passing a building section and thinking about the wall that can greet, the section door said, “Who doesn't know how to greet? I can do it, too; you just didn't notice.” I passed an apartment door on the first floor, which greeted me as well. I asked, “Do you know where I'm going?” It answered, “I do. Isn't it so-and so's home?” One day, a fellow practitioner was under persecution, I passed the wall in a hurry, the wall yelled behind me as if trying to get me to turn back, “How come you're sad!” In winter, the wall won't wake up until 9:00a.m. When it wakes up, it exhales, turns back and forth, sometime stomps its feet and rubs its hands, sighing, “So cold!”
An incident reminds me to be attentive to little things. It is embarrassing to share. One day, I had some dirt on my hand but didn't have a tissue. When I was about to wipe it off on a wall, the wall asked me curiously, “What is it you're going to wipe on me?” I blushed terribly and I told myself I must pay attention to this in the future.
V. Seeing Through Predestined Relationships
Master said in Zhuan Falun, “Ordinary human affairs, according to the Buddha School, all have predestined relationships.” (“Lecture One”) Through the course of cultivation practice, I have found this perfectly true and seen that everything happens for a reason. Here are a few examples.
My fellow practitioner Xiuxiu (alias) told me that her husband hit her, lifted her up, threw her into the corner, and she passed out immediately. This left a bump the size of an egg on her head, which didn't go away until a day of bed rest. While she was telling me about it, I saw the predestined relationship between her and her husband in their previous lives. In one lifetime, she was an ugly-looking and stout man, while her husband was a weak and delicate woman, and they were also a couple. The husband often hit the wife and slept around outside. The husband hated the sight of the wife and every time he came back home, he often lifted her up and threw her into the bed, swearing. One day the husband lifted the wife up again and threw her toward a broken tile barrel, causing serious injury on her head. For the next half year, because of the injury, the wife felt dizzy as soon as she moved. But she still had to submit to humiliation and take care of the husband. In this lifetime, the situation has been reversed. If she didn't practice cultivation or didn't have Master's protection and bearing the tribulations for her, would her egg-sized bump have gone away in just one day?
Another fellow practitioner, Xiaoxiao (alias), complained that her mother-in-law is good to her husband's younger sister, and Xiaoxiao's husband is good to his mother, and doesn't care about her. And if she spent money, no matter how small the amount, her husband got very upset. I saw that during the Qin Dynasty (221 – 206 B.C.) when Emperor Qin Shihuang ordered the building of the Great Wall, she was a foreman in that lifetime. Under the scorching sun, the foreman held a whip with a ferocious expression on his face. A young man (who had lung disease and was coughing blood) looked very pale, but was still carrying a rock. He lost his balance, fell, and couldn't get up for a while. The foreman then whipped him, scolded him, and trampled him. The young man's father saw it, threw himself between the foreman and his son, and was beaten by the foreman to the point of broken skin and exposed flesh. In a few days the young man died of fatigue, and the father died of grief. The young man and his father are Xiaoxiao's sister-in-law and mother-in-law in this life time, and a cousin of the old man is Xiaoxiao's husband in this lifetime. In another lifetime, Xiaoxiao was a merchant and swindled money from somebody, and that victim is Xiaoxiao's husband in this lifetime.
One of my classmates (a non-practitioner) lost her husband in a car accident. She was frantic with grief. I saw that in a previous lifetime my classmate was a very rich man, but was heartless and sarcastic, and my classmate's late husband was a scholar. The scholar was hurt by the bitter sarcasm of the rich man, couldn't bear the humiliation, and died. These two became a couple in this lifetime, and the husband was very caring to my classmate. His sudden death left her in grief so deep that she wished to die. She was shattered so greatly by the loss that she was on the verge of collapse. She often read her late husband's diary, re-lives her memories, and is torn by the pain of missing him. What she doesn't know is, this is how her husband is claiming payment for his previous life by making her unable to lead a good life.
Everything in the human world is caused by karma and predestined relationships. How many can see through it in the maze?