(Minghui.org) I was very competitive when I was young, and self centered and arrogant. I also made sure that everyone at work knew what a great job I was doing, and I spent all my time pursuing fame and material wealth.
Towards the end of 1993, I collapsed at work and my colleagues took me to a hospital, where I remained in critical condition, paralyzed from the chest down. I felt as if I were going to die soon and prayed to Buddha and Bodhisattva to let me die without suffering.
I was discharged from the hospital after about six months. I could stand, but not walk. I was incontinent and had become disabled.
I saw Master's portrait and the Falun image while visiting a friend, and thought that they looked incredibly familiar. My friend then gave me the book Zhuan Falun. Upon reading this book, I felt my emotions welling up within me and I knew that this was what I had been looking for all my life! In this book, I found the answers to many questions that I had.
Just when I decided to become a cultivator, I faced a great adversity. My husband had an affair and wanted a divorce. This was hard to accept in my condition, as I was fully dependent on a live-in nurse. Also under existing Chinese law, he could not divorce me because of my condition. However, he pulled some strings and we were divorced anyway.
In despair, I picked up Zhuan Falun , thinking, “My suffering is so great. I must read this book more closely.” As I read, my heart began to calm down.
Although I hadn't truly stepped into the practice, I recovered from my paraplegia, which inspired friends and family to practice Falun Gong.
I started truly practicing Dafa in 1996, and invited practitioners to my home to study the Falun Gong books. I was very diligent in the beginning, but because of my physical condition doing the exercises was very difficult. Therefore, I gradually developed the thought of giving up.
One day when the thought of given up was very strong, someone behind me said, “My child, things are not easy for you. You must persist in cultivation to the very end.”
When I turned around, I saw that the voice belonged to an elderly practitioner. I was stunned. How did she know what I was thinking? Tears covered my face when I realized that Master was using this practitioner's voice to encourage me.
I therefore did not give up the practice. I persisted in studying the Falun Gong books, doing the exercises, and cultivating my xinxing. I participated in activities to help people understand Falun Gong, and I thought about how to be more diligent in my cultivation every day.
Without realizing it, my body was becoming stronger and stronger. After three months of practicing Falun Gong, I started regaining my sense of hot and cold, and could walk without assistance. After six months of practicing, my body was just like that of a normal person.
My neighbors and friends were amazed by my recovery. The said, “Can this be true? We have been worrying about you for so long! It's miraculous! You were able to recover from such a serious illness by practicing Falun Gong!”
When my ex-husband saw how much my health had improved, he said, “Falun Gong really works for you!” I replied, “It doesn't just work for me, it works for anyone who cultivates it, and makes the body healthy!”
After witnessing my recovery, my former husband ultimately understood the facts about Falun Gong and many of the people around me entered into Falun Gong cultivation.
Falun Gong was banned in China on July 20, 1999. I therefore decided to appeal for Falun Gong on Tiananmen Square in Beijing. My fellow practitioners said, “You must come back!” and I replied, “I will!”
I recalled what Master said,
"If you can let go of life and death, you're a God; if you can't let go of life and death, you're a human." ("Teaching the Fa in New York City" from Lectures in the United States)
I walked toward Tiananmen Square and recited in my mind what Master said,
“In life, nothing sought, In death, regretting naught; Washing away all wrong thought, Buddhahood, with less adversity, is wrought.” (“Nothing Kept,” from Hong Yin)
I went to the Golden Water Bridge and unfurled a banner with the words, “The Fa Rectifies the Cosmos.” At the same time, I shouted as loudly as I could, “Restore my Master's good name! Restore Falun Gong's good name! Falun Gong is good!”
At that instant, I felt as though my surroundings had come to a standstill. I felt like I was the only person in the entire dimension, and my body felt warm and as light as a feather. I shouted again and again, “Falun Gong is the righteous Fa! Falun Gong is good!”
About twenty minutes later, the banner was pulled out of my hands and I was arrested by some police officers.
I shouted to the crowd, “Master Li Hongzhi is not wrong to teach people to be good! Restore my Master's good name! Restore Falun Gong's good name!”
I was taken to a detention center where there were already over a thousand practitioners. We recited the Fa, and I signaled each time a new section was to be recited.
An officer then pointed at me and ordered me to come with him. I walked in the direction that he was pointing and continued walking until I reached the main road. Just as I exited from the center, I saw a taxi parked in front of the exit, in a no-parking zone.
I got into the taxi, and asked the driver, “Are you here to pick me up?” The driver replied, “Yes, I'm here to pick you up!” I said, “I practice Falun Gong, and was just captured and released.” The driver said, “The Party is so evil. All they do is bring harm to the people.”
I returned to a practitioner's home in the area. The practitioner was very shocked. “You went to Tiananmen Square?” he asked. I told him what had happened. He then said, “They [the police] didn't beat you?” I replied, “They didn't beat me.”
Because of the great changes that had happened to my body, I was fairly well-known throughout my district. As a result, I was often a target of harassment. One day, some police came to my home. I thought, since they were here, they must also have a predestined relationship with me. So I told them about my cultivation experiences. I talked to them for an entire hour and they listened intently. One officer said, “No one will arrest you. You are all good people.”
I kept telling people about Falun Gong and always had truth clarification materials and Shen Yun DVDs with me. The owners where I shopped kept asking me if I had any new information for them.
For example, one day, just as I was down to my final two DVDs, I saw a man on a motorcycle driving towards me. I smiled and greeted him. He got off his cycle and said with a smile, “You're wonderful, even from a distance I could see you smiling so kindly!” I gave him a Shen Yun DVD, and when he received it his face was radiating joy.
Also, one time, when the evil was still very rampant, I took a taxi, but didn't quite know how to begin a discussion about Falun Gong. Therefore, I began to recite what Master said:
“The evil ones should think twice about their flagrant savagery, When Heaven and Earth are bright again, down to the boiling cauldron they go; Punches and kicks do little to change people’s hearts, Violent winds usher in an autumn with even harsher chill.” (“The Chill of Autumn's Winds” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
The driver said, “That's a very good poem. Who wrote it?” I told him that it was composed by the founder of Falun Gong. The driver said, “That's extremely noble. So many people practice Falun Gong, it must be good.”
There was a period of time when the evil agents were hunting for me everywhere. Because of this, I was forced to leave home and become homeless and destitute.
When the agents couldn't find me, they began to place pressure on my child. Unable to withstand the pressure, my child asked me, “Mother, do you choose Falun Gong or do you choose me?” I responded, “I choose both you and Falun Gong. Falun Gong saved me, and you are my child, so I have a responsibility towards you. Don't worry, with Master by my side no harm will come to me.”
After living a destitute life for some time, my body began breaking down from the stress. Once, when I was washing my hair in the bathroom at a fellow practitioners' home, I collapsed. I felt like I couldn't make it and was unable to speak. My body later recovered, and I returned to wandering the streets.
Because I could not eliminate my attachments, I drifted away from the main body for some time. The evil took advantage of my loopholes, resulting in my being arrested and imprisoned.
I now understand that every one of us is in Master's palm. As long as we don't drift away from the Fa, we are in the safest state possible. The environment that Master has arranged for us is also the safest and best environment for cultivation. When we move away from Master's arrangements, we also move away from Master's protection. Master said, “Cultivate with the heart you once had, and consummation is certain.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”)
The persecution was the strongest shortly after July 20, 1999, but we were able to get through it because of Master's compassionate protection. How can we “cultivate with the heart we once had”? We have to study the Fa more, look inside, truly let go of attachments to self, and rectify ourselves according to the principles of the Fa.