(Minghui.org) I visited a fellow practitioner last year who didn’t live in my region. Before this visit, I didn’t know her well. However, to my surprise, on meeting me, she and another practitioner simply took me to purchase printing materials at a shop run by an elderly fellow practitioner. What is more, she then took me back to her home where the truth materials were stocked. I must say that it was not rational behavior, as she didn’t know me well. Because the persecution is still going on, security issues shouldn’t be ignored.
At her home, she was busy with printing, and even did not shy away from me. Towards evening, three practitioners arrived at her home one after another, and all of us then studied Zhuan Falun together. I accidentally turned to a page with Master’s image, but what I saw was Master shedding tears. I suddenly questioned myself why this happened, but I couldn’t find the answer.
After studying a lecture, she started to discuss with other practitioners how and what to do to clarify the truth. As I was watching her, I suddenly understood why Master had shed tears. I hesitated, "Do you know Master is shedding tears for you?" She was shocked and replied, "Why are you so sure it is for me, instead of for you?" I said, “Because I have now seen the way you are." The male practitioner and one of the female practitioners immediately said, "Tell us more about her. We all talked about this to her, but she didn’t care." It seemed that her problem was not only temporary but deeply-rooted as well.
Thus, I told them the problems I noticed and said, "I see you are very keen and enthusiastic about saving sentient beings. To be honest, I cannot be so fearless and involved like you. But I feel that you don’t pay enough attention to your cultivation, which is the basis of clarifying truth well. It seems you lack rationality, and ignore security and safety issues.
In addition, from what I heard from the conversation among all of you, I can tell the dependence and adoration that other fellow practitioners have developed towards you. This makes you unable to see clearly what your behavior is. If I am not wrong, you have overestimated yourself, which would push you into a dangerous situation. Your behavior reminds me more of human’s heroism, rather than a cultivator’s calm and mature behavior. I would suggest you work hard on your own character." She listened to me very carefully, and quietly started to look inwards.
In the evening, she, her parents and I together were doing the meditation, when I heard a noise. She was knocking on the floor. After the meditation, I asked her, "Why were you knocking on the floor all through the meditation? How can you calm down during the meditation?" She answered disapprovingly: "My parents were sleeping during the meditation. What I did was to simply try to wake them up." Throughout the meditation, what she focused on were her parents. My thinking was that her behavior not only wasted her time, but also interfered with others.
The next morning after breakfast, I was reading Zhuan Falun in the living room, while she was reading it in another room. After studying, our discussion was not very pleasant. I felt that I might have been too anxious to talk to her about her problems without having enough compassion, which aroused her resentment.
In our exchange of ideas, she talked about a phrase: affection between fellow practitioners. She said, "Who is the closest? It is our fellow practitioners." But I think, this is also a kind of human attachment, which should be abandoned eventually in our cultivation.
After getting back home, I tried to contact her many times, because I really did not trust her. But I was not able to reach her. Three months later, there came the news that she had been abducted by the police. I really regret that I didn’t visit her again.
In reality, she and her fellow practitioners made a lot of efforts to rescue the imprisoned practitioners, and produced a large amount of truth-clarifying materials. What they had done was really amazing. However, in achieving those things, it should be clear that it was only through Master's compassion and the Fa’s power that those achievements have been accomplished. We should also look at our own imperfections, and be more diligent in real terms, rather than only think about how amazing an individual or a group is, which leads to self-recognition or adoration of others.
Some time ago, the number of practitioners arrested in various regions increased significantly. In realizing the evil would be rampant towards the end, shouldn't we seriously reflect on ourselves? There is a saying, " Don't be carried away by success,’ but have we really "succeeded?" Are all the sentient beings saved? Our complacency reflects how strong our attachments are. In such circumstances, when facing the evil’s lurking around, will the persecution be resolved and changed simply by denying it?
We need to realize that sentient beings are waiting for us to save them. We can give up our lives, and give up everything that we should have had in this world, but we cannot give up the responsibility of saving sentient beings. Our missions have not been accomplished, and we cannot afford to lose.