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Resentment Melts into Compassion: Helping My Ex-husband and His Family Understand the Truth about Falun Dafa

Aug. 21, 2014 |   By Qingyu, from Liaoning Province, China

(Minghui.org) Having survived two years of abuse in a forced labor camp, I thought I had made it through the worst of it. As it turned out, the tribulation I faced next with my family proved to be an even greater challenge.

Tribulations Abound

After my release from the labor camp, I still suffered severe symptoms including dizziness and insomnia as a result of the beatings I endured there. When I just began to recover, I found that my husband was cheating on me. One evening, I found our bank cards and my new property certificate were missing. He had abandoned me and my son and only left us 4,000 yuan. It was a big blow, financially and emotionally. Not only that, I was fired from my job for refusing to renounce my belief in Falun Dafa and didn't have any income. I had sacrificed so much for my husband and yet this was how I was treated.

I thought: “I can't fall, I must remain strong. My four-year-old son and my elderly parents need me. And I must cultivate diligently. No one could block my cultivation path. I can't fail the test and forget my purpose of coming to this world.”

Three years later, nearly his whole family, including his parents, demanded that I agree to a divorce because I was affecting his future. They pushed the divorce through against my will. They even went to my son's school and fought to get custody of him, and tried to use my practicing Falun Dafa as an excuse. In the end, I had to transfer him to another school.

Reinforcing My Determination to Cultivate

The troubles they made for me reinforced my determination to cultivate. At the same time, I realized that emotions were the least reliable things. I read the Fa more, recited the Fa and copied the Fa. I also sent righteous thoughts to eliminate all my emotions towards my ex-husband, including love and hatred. I asked for Master's help to reinforce my righteous thoughts and clear all the memories of my husband. I tried to forget everything that happened to us, as I wanted a new life.

I also thought: “What did I come here for? I came here to cultivate, aiming to return to my original home. I'm a disciple during the Fa rectification period who has a historic mission, which is to assist Master to rectify the Fa and save people.” The words “what did you come here for” helped me to come out of the whirlpool of family tribulations. Now, no one can tell from my surface that I have family problems, because my heart is not moved by the problems. I am a cultivator who is walking on the path to divinity. This gives me the greatest sense of honor and joy.

My ex-husband was quite rich, but the money he gave to his son each month was very little, and he only saw him once a year. He hadn't taken his son out for a meal since we divorced, a decade ago. My relatives said that they had never seen a father like him. However, all these things have passed, as if it was just a dream.

Not Taking People's Faults to Heart

Being a practitioner, I can't take people's faults to heart. The reason I came here is to cultivate myself and save people, not to make enemies. They are the people who have karmic relationships with us and should be saved. So I was determined to let go of the resentment towards my ex-husband and his family, and suddenly my heart was filled with compassion of wanting to save them. I tried to find chances to approach them.

One time, my ex-husband came to see our son. I treated him as an old friend and pretended nothing had happened between us. I clarified the facts about Falun Dafa to him, and helped him quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). He had previously written and said something disrespectful about Master and Dafa, so he used his real name and wrote a solemn declaration that all he said and wrote was null and void.

Helping Former In-Laws to Learn Falun Dafa

At the end of 2009, my ex-mother-in-law phoned me and told me that her spine was hurting badly, so I should not bring my son to her place. Her doctor at the hospital told her to go home. The doctor said, “We can't cure this kind of illness. You won't die from it, but unfortunately you will suffer from here on out.”

I went to see her, but she wouldn't dare to invite me into her home, because she was frightened that her new daughter-in-law would throw a tantrum. Instead we had a chat in my car. I said to her: “How about you start cultivation? Look at the pain you have suffered.” I had taught her the exercises before the onset of the persecution and she used to go to the park to do it, but she stopped when the persecution started in 1999.

She felt much better after our conversation. Since then, I took her to the group Fa study and gave her copies of the Minghui Weekly to read every week. She also kept doing the exercises at home every day. I helped her buy a laptop and taught her how to go to the Minghui website as well. Within less than three months, she completely recovered and she could go shopping and do all of her household chores.

My ex-father-in-law was manipulated by the CCP over the past few years during the peak of the persecution, and helped his son divorce me. He also did some bad things to Dafa. But he saw his wife's changes since she started practicing again and now has different views about Falun Dafa. His mind changed when he read the Minghui Weekly. He once said to me: “We should have freedom of belief in China. Good things are forbidden! What sort of society is this?”

One time, my ex-father-in-law read a historic story from Pure Insight Weekly, which was about a man in ancient times who got punished from abandoning his wife and child. He then started to believe that doing good will be rewarded and doing bad will be punished. One day, he asked one of his relatives: “Isn't my family being punished?” because his new daughter-in-law only cared about money and was a tyrannical person. She would smash things if she wasn't happy, so the whole family was scared of her.

I suggested that my ex-father-in-law do the Falun Dafa exercises due to his poor health. I taught him exercise one and two. He read Dafa books sometimes. He came to fully understand that Falun Dafa is good and quit the CCP. He went to New Zealand and Japan last year for a holiday and saw Falun Dafa activities there. This confirmed what I had explained to him before.

Not only my parents-in-law keep in touch with me, but also all their relatives. They have all quit the CCP. I think Dafa disciples don't have enemies. We just have the role of saving people.

This is my personal cultivation experience with my limited understandings, please point it out with compassion if anything is incorrect.

Thank you Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!