(Minghui.org) I was sentenced to 10 years in prison before my child turned a year old. For over 10 years, I was held in a brainwashing center, detention center, and prison, where I was brainwashed, tortured, and forced to perform hard labor.
Yet, I felt that Teacher watched over me at all times.
When I first returned home, I felt that everything I did was related to the Fa and that it was so sacred. When I read Teacher's recent articles, the Fa cleansed me. I saw the big gap between my xinxing and the requirements of the Fa. I understood the requirements for doing the three things well, which made me feel that I needed to catch up as fast as possible.
I then began to participate in projects for saving sentient beings, which made me much busier than I was before I was imprisoned.
I felt that there was something that did not feel right after some time. My cultivation state seemed like what it was over 10 years ago, during the early stages of the persecution, which was the most evil period.
At that time, I was busy doing all types of things to validate the Fa, but with strong human attachments. I was going through the motions in my Fa-study. I even thought that if I did Dafa work, I would establish my mighty virtue.
Consequently, the old forces found a reason to persecute me, and I was imprisoned for more than 10 years.
I should never go back to my old path. Although I had just been released, the cultivation standard would not be lowered for me.
Teacher said:
“So in cultivation you must try hard to do the three things that Dafa disciples should do well, and at the same time save sentient beings and fulfill the roles that Dafa disciples should. In order to do these things well, you must study the Fa well. Make great efforts at studying the Fa, and you will be able to keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification, and you will in an impressive manner become a Dafa disciple who befits that name and is of the Fa-rectification period.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference,” Teaching the Fa at the Conference VIII)
One's righteous thoughts come from the Fa, and everything needs to be done in accordance with the Fa standards.
Therefore, I quickly adjusted my state of mind, and began to put my heart into Fa-study. However, I was a bit impatient. Sometimes to study more Fa within a short period of time, I ended up reading more than 40 pages of Zhuan Falun in an hour. An incident awakened me to the wrong mindset I had.
Every time before Fa-study, I burned incense to show respect for Teacher. One day, a small part of the incense, which was still burning, fell on a box wrapped with a piece of cloth and burned a little hole in the box. I was very surprised. How could this happen in something as sacred as burning incense to show respect for Teacher? I thought that I must have loopholes in my Fa-study.
When I burned the incense, I was in such a rush, which was not respectful to Teacher. Also, when I studied the Fa I was also in a rush.
We have come this far and have been told the principals of the universe. We know that without Teacher and Dafa, the universe would have been destroyed long ago. Think about it: For something as sacred as Fa study, if one does not pay attention from deep down, one's mind has gone astray.
In addition, my hidden understanding of Dafa was to obtain something from the Fa. I even wanted the universal Fa to provide what I needed. With such a deeply hidden selfishness, one would not be able to reach the standard of the new universe.
This was a big wake-up call from Teacher, which made me understand what cultivating one's mind meant. If I kept cultivating my mind this way, no matter how deeply my selfishness was hidden, it would have nowhere to hide.
I met with another practitioner by chance. When I shared with him, he talked to me about his cultivation path over the past 10 years. I could feel his righteousness cultivated from the Fa; in everything he did, he was trying to harmonize what Teacher wanted.
The requirements he set for his Fa-study was to study the Fa by using his true nature. He walked righteously no matter whether he was imprisoned or doing the three things.
I was shocked. When compared to this practitioner, I felt that I had not cultivated in the past. I had thought that I was a particle in the Fa, and I took it for granted. But did I truly play the role of being a particle in the Fa, or was I merely muddling along?
I felt as if I was hit by a big hammer. I had thought that I followed the Fa-rectification closely so I would not be left behind. I had a good feeling about myself. Now I realized that with this kind of mentality I was just like beings who did not know about the Fa—foolish, arrogant, and poor.
I decided that I must change myself by changing my state during Fa study.
I encountered the most serious interference to Fa study, however, far worse than I had experienced in the past.
As soon as I began to study the Fa, I would feel very sleepy. I knew that this was an invisible battle going on between good and evil. At times, I felt as if the evil was just in front of me. Besides sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it, I also needed to be enlightened on the Fa.
Teacher said in “Drive Out Interference,”
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Teacher has also told us in “To the Australia Fa Conference,”
“In order for Dafa disciples to walk their paths well and do the three things well, they must study the Fa well and take Fa-study seriously.” (The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
Actually, underneath it all were the old forces trying to interfere with me during my Fa-study. They wanted my thoughts deviated from the Fa.
At the same time, I came across a few articles about Fa-study on the Minghui website, which were quite enlightening. I understood clearly that this interference was to stop me from studying the Fa, to eat away my will, and to stop me from truly obtaining the Fa. What I needed to do was to dissolve and eliminate the interference. My mind must not be lax, I thought, and I must not leave any opportunity for the evil to persecute me.
I truly believe that no matter what kind of interference and in what format, it was all illusion. One needs to make a breakthrough. The more one is interfered with, the more one needs to study the Fa. The more difficult it is to study the Fa, the more one should continue.
Thus, I must study the Fa, one character after another. I must continue and I must keep my heart steady. With the encouragement of practitioners, my persistence, and Teacher's benevolent guidance, I overcame the interference.
I now study the Fa with righteous thoughts. This was also a process of cultivating my mind and proactively assimilating to the Fa. The Fa, therefore, began to display its profound inner meanings to me. What's more important is to have a heart of respecting Teacher and the Fa when we study.
For a while, when I was reading any paragraph of Zhuan Falun, I could find my fundamental attachments as well as all kinds of notions and human attachments. I thought that if I had studied the Fa like this from the very beginning, I would have taken a lot less detours.
It is now so much easier for me to understand why Teacher emphasizes the importance of studying the Fa. When I read the Fa and saw my fundamental attachments, I felt its compassion. Nothing forced me to study the Fa. It only helped raise my righteous thoughts so that I could quickly eliminate and dismantle those bad substances, immerse into, and be cleansed by the Fa.
I came to feel the wonderfulness of being assimilated into the Fa and the sacredness of that immersion.