(Minghui.org) I was employed as a sales director. Every morning, I had to announce the staff members' sales achievements. Everyone had to reach a certain sales goal, and whoever failed to meet the goal was punished. All we did revolved around fame and profit.
Studying Falun Dafa books made me realize that I needed to remove the attachment to pursuit. I felt a conflict between my work and my cultivation and was pained because I could not balance these things well. But, why did I feel that I was suffering?
Master said:
“Cultivation itself is not painful—the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain.” (“True Cultivation” from Essentials For Further Advancement)
My unwillingness to let go of the attachments to seeking fame and profit made me feel pain. Master allowed me to understand the profound meaning of the Fa, so I could resolve my feelings.
Master said:
“We don’t have you really lose any material things. But right here in this material environment you have to improve your character.” (Zhuan Falun)
Each sentence of Master’s teachings gave me more insight into cultivation. I realized that I needed to temper myself in the material world to improve my xinxing. Cultivation is about cultivating the mind and does not require me to really lose any material things. If I was not attached to material things, what pain would I feel? I must remind myself that I am a cultivator. I must use the Fa to check myself and make sure I am acting in line with the Fa. Only then will I be able to balance my work and cultivation.
My work was extremely busy. In addition, I took on work to promote Shen Yun. Difficulties and human notions prevented me from cultivating myself well.
As a Dafa disciple with the sacred mission to save sentient beings, my cultivation state was not up to par. I was confused about how to conform to the state of an everyday person and maintain my xinxing, while my work involved seeking fame, profit and other things.
I thought about quitting my job as a sales director and doing a regular sales job so I could have a more flexible schedule and be able to do the three things well. I could also host Shen Yun promotion activities.
It was easy to think about quitting my job, but it was a struggle for me to put it into action.
Master said:
“Clarifying the facts and saving sentient beings are what you need to accomplish. There is nothing else for you to accomplish. There is nothing else in this world that you need to accomplish.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference”)
Returning to my original place is my life's purpose, and clarifying the truth about Dafa is the most important vow that I made long ago. After I made the decision to quit my sales director job, I felt very light.
When I first started to host Shen Yun promotion meetings, few people purchased tickets. I was wondering why this was the case. There must be something that I did not do well.
I looked within and found that I cared too much about my appearance and my job title. Only with these in place was I able to have the confidence to face people. It was actually an excuse for my attachments to fame and profit.
Master told us:
“As for whether the result is good, don't look at the other party, it comes from your minds. If you want it to be good then it will be good.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Lantern Festival”)
I was only focusing on what status I had among everyday people. Was I validating the Fa or validating myself?
I had to cultivate myself well. I began to study the Fa diligently and send righteous thoughts well. The number of people purchasing Shen Yun tickets during the promotion activities I hosted grew every year.
I was hosting a tea party to promote the Shen Yun Symphony Orchestra in August this year. My mind drew a blank when I had to speak. Part of the reason was that I was not familiar with the introductory materials about the orchestra, and I did not have enough experience hosting this kind of activity. I left soon after the tea party was over.
I felt ashamed and kept blaming myself. I was thinking, “Maybe I was not suitable for hosting the tea party. My reaction was slow, my communication skills were poor, and my responses were so bad. I’d better not host it next time.”
Contrary to my expectations, the coordinator asked me to host another two tea parties, both on the same day in September, as if nothing had happened. But I still struggled with all kinds of negative thoughts.
Master said:
“If you regret it too much then that's another attachment. Once you've done something wrong, seen where it was wrong, and recognized it, then do it well next time, do it over. If you trip and fall, and just keep lying there instead of getting up, (audience laughs) then that's no good.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Lantern Festival”)
Master’s Fa washed away my human notions and encouraged me to let go of my depressed feelings.
This time, when I was asked to host a tea party for the Shen Yun Orchestra, I told myself to give my best effort.
I memorized the host information about the Orchestra. I studied the Fa more and sent righteous thoughts to get rid of all negative thoughts.
I felt nervous, so I sent righteous thoughts and asked Master for help. The event went smoothly. The attendees listened carefully. At the second tea party, attendees paid close attention to what I said, and many tickets were sold.
A man who attended the party told me at another event, “Your hosting was very well done at the last tea party. You're very well-spoken. I felt so comfortable watching you.” I knew Master was encouraging me.
I endured tremendous suffering to remove my attachments to fame and profit during my everyday work and while participating in various Dafa projects. I had to care less about what I could gain and what I could lose, be more considerate of others, and do the three things well.
A true cultivator does not lose anything materially as long as he or she truly acts based on the requirements of the Fa.
I now focus on promoting Shen Yun and other Dafa projects. My sales achievements are not the best, but they are much better than before. My living conditions have not been affected. I feel that true happiness comes when one lives without pursuit.