(Minghui.org) I was arrested two years ago for my belief in Falun Gong and incarcerated in several facilities. I had some difficult yet rewarding experiences, and I improved tremendously as a practitioner.
The police arrested me and several other practitioners in October 2014. I clarified the truth to an officer on duty as I was handcuffed in the police station that night. As soon as he understood the truth, he gave me a card that could open all the doors in the facility.
He told me that I could leave. I declined since I didn't want him to suffer the consequences, nor did I want to become a fugitive. He admired my courage, saying, “You are indeed a person who practices Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.”
At a brainwashing center, people who collaborated with the staff threatened that I could be locked up for more than ten years and that they would torture me until I gave up the practice. They also threatened to jail my family. I could feel the evil in the air. I realized that I had to let go of my fundamental attachments.
I frequently thought about my plans. I didn't want to die, but I would rather die than write a statement to renounce Falun Gong. I didn't want to be in prison and be tortured, but I'd rather be tortured than yield to the evil.
I felt awful that I would have to give up my comfortable home, car, pretty clothes, attractive face, admiration from others, good job, and the attachment to my younger brother. I tried to think about things based on the Fa. I knew that the choice I faced was the difference between human and the divine.
In the process of trying to think like a practitioner, I became confident and knew that I didn't live for myself, but for the beings who have high hopes for me. I had to be strong, even if that meant that I had to make sacrifices.
I told the captain of domestic security not to have the collaborators try to persuade me to give up my faith. “If you have anything to say to me, you can speak directly to me,” I told him, “Stop sending in those people. They are no longer Falun Gong practitioners. Besides insulting me, they have nothing else to say.”
The captain then ordered the collaborators not to bother me anymore.
I clarified the truth to people who took turns watching me. One of them was misled by the slanderous propaganda against Falun Gong. She told me, “I was so scared of you. I didn't dare to fall asleep next to you at first. I am talking to you now because you seem like a nice person who's well educated and reasonable.”
One of them began to talk to others about Falun Gong after she learned the truth from me. Some of them quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and some brought me food from outside.
The captain asked for names of other practitioners. I declined and told him that I wouldn't let him do bad things to innocent people. He said that I wasn't being smart and thinking straight. I said that I wanted him to be able to keep a clear conscience. He seemed surprised and touched.
The captain was polite to me and would tell officers to bring me water. He sometimes brought me food. One time I saw him take pills for hypertension, so I began clarifying the truth to him using examples of those who persecuted practitioners and eventually died of sudden heart attacks.
In the end he agreed that Falun Gong was good and started to sit with his legs crossed like he was meditating. He told me that he was just doing his job, but if Falun Gong was redressed one day, he would become a practitioner. He couldn't let me go, but he put in a good word for me to his superiors. Before he sent me to a detention center, he kept reminding me to be careful.
I told myself that I should forget about everything except for doing the three things well. I wanted other inmates to see the goodness of Falun Gong in me.
Not Letting Human Notions Get in the Way of Saving People
I often gave food I bought to the cell mates who were older than me. I didn't mind being hungry. The food provided there was meager, and one was bound to go hungry without money to buy additional food. I shared the clothes and shoes my family brought me with others, as well.
One person borrowed a thick jacket from me and never gave it back until the day she left. It was very cold at the end of the year and I had frostbite all over. I didn't mind.As people started to see how a practitioner could be selfless, I began to clarify the truth to them and help them quit the CCP.
One section chief gave me a hard time repeatedly, but I kept looking within, knowing that I wasn't compassionate enough at the time to defeat the evil. I knew that I had to clarify the truth to the chief despite her attitude.
I began by telling her that I had something important to say to her and if I didn't, I would regret it for the rest of my life. To my surprise, after she knew the truth, she quit the CCP with a smile. She became a friend who confided in me. It was my understanding that when a being wants you to save her, she doesn't necessarily beg or say pleasing things. Instead she may beat and scold you. I shouldn't let my notions stop me from saving people.
“Falun Gong Practitioners Are Different”
Each time after we made a purchase, I always let others pick first, knowing that they always took more than they bought. I never took more than I paid for and others began to do what I did. I helped change some unfair rules in the cell regarding the new inmates, so that they wouldn’t be bullied. It became an environment where everyone helped one another. Many new inmates said that it didn't feel like a prison here but more like a home.
In the weekly meetings I told others about how I measured myself against the principles of Falun Gong and found the shortcomings that I must get rid of. The head inmate of the cell always said that it would be great if everyone was like me. One time in the meeting I told them that I saw two people fighting. Master says,
“...when two people have a conflict and a third person sees it, even that third person should think about whether there are any problems on his part—“Why did I happen to see it?” (from Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference)
I said that I found my attachments to fighting and to winning, and I wanted to eliminate them because I didn't want to hurt others. Gradually everyone learned how to look within.
I wrote down the poems in Hong Yin and everyone was eager to read them. A little girl once saw two people arguing and quickly recited,
“He’s right,And I’m wrong,”What’s to dispute?(from “Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong” in Hong Yin III)
An older woman accidentally dropped a jar of pickles into the toilet. It was bound to block the toilet and cause inconvenience for two dozen people. The woman was terrified. I knew that it wasn't a coincidence that I saw it.
I stuck my arm into the toilet, all the way in, and found the jar. It was so slimy and slippery that I couldn't hold on to it. It took me a long time to finally get it out. My hand was hurting and I almost vomited.
A person who never liked me came up to me and said, “Falun Gong practitioners are different. I respect you.” She changed her mind about practitioners. That day I was given an apple, and it was the tastiest apple I've ever had. It was Master encouraging me.
A newly arrived drug addict didn't have money or a comforter, and nobody wanted to help her. I gave her my new comforter and the instant noodles that I had bought. One day she yelled at me in front of everyone, “I don't like you. You despise me. I won't have anything to do with you.”
I was caught off guard but quickly remembered that I was a practitioner. I apologized and told her that there must be a misunderstanding. She was embarrassed and didn't know what to say. One night I went and talked to her at length. I clarified the truth to her, and she quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
“Why Not Renounce Falun Gong?”
My cellmates suggested that I write the statements to renounce Falun Gong because it meant that I could go home. They called me silly for refusing to do so.
I knew that they wanted the best for me. I told them about my struggles and that I gave up my beautiful life in this world for the truth of the universe. One of them said loudly, “I support you. You touched my heart when you said that you were ready to give up your home, car, pretty clothes and comfortable life. I live for those things, and I admire you.”
Dreams of a Cellmate
One of my cellmates told me about a dream that she had. In the dream she suffered from herpes and recovered as soon as I touched her forehead and gave her a pill. I believed that she had a good foundation and had a predestined relationship with me. When I talked to her about Falun Gong, she told me that I was like family to her, and she often served my night duty for me without waking me up.
Another time the same cellmate said that she heard a loud bang in her dream. “Everyone was terrified and looking for a place to hide. I saw you wear graceful clothes, sitting with legs crossed in the sky. You looked so pretty. No one understood what you said except for me. I translated for you. You said that you came to offer salvation and that we shouldn't be afraid. The darkness shall pass and the dawn is ahead of us. Your voice penetrated the entire dimension.” I was overwhelmed and almost cried. I knew that it was Master encouraging me.
The More I Give, the More I Gain
There was a very rich woman in the cell who was an atheist and often argued with me. I looked within and wanted to find what I had done wrong. I talked to her, but she never believed in anything I said about Falun Gong regarding divine beings. As time went by, though, she found out about the persecution and saw in me the goodness of a practitioner.
When others took advantage of me, she told me that there was no way that she would put up with it. I frequently explained the Fa principles to her. She began to be able to control her urge to fight with others when conflicts rose. She said that I was the only person she respected there. One day she told me that she believed what I said about divine beings, and that she would read Falun Gong books after she was released.
Persuading her was a process of cultivation for me. I saw my arrogance and stubbornness from her and slowly got rid of these notions. Before she left, she told me that she gained something in prison and, if it weren't for her family outside, she would stay in prison with me for many years. I was so glad that I didn't give up on her.
“Everyone May Start Practicing Falun Gong Because of You”
I made a dessert from cobbled together ingredients for a cellmate's birthday. Everyone took two cookies each. When it was my turn, I took two like others, but then put one back. Another cellmate saw me and immediately declared, “I want to learn from you from now on.”
As I was in the field walking, I saw a few peanuts on the ground. I picked them up and cleaned them. When others asked me why, I told them that there wasn't enough food to go around. If I could eat the peanuts, or food people threw away, I could save my food for other inmates, especially the newer ones.
When things were broken and no one claimed responsibility, I would. They knew that it wasn't me and the arguments would end. I would use my money and offer to fix the toilet when it was broken. Many cellmates told me that they were glad to have met me in prison and that I was their spiritual pillar.
After a year in the detention center, I gained a better understanding of compassion and forgiveness. It was to embrace everything about the sentient beings, including their differences and their notions. I considered things from their standpoints. I accepted and encouraged them, regardless of who they were on the outside. Things on the surface don’t matter to me anymore. When they saw Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in me, they naturally assimilated to it and respected Falun Gong.
For a long time the cell was quiet and peaceful. Everyone cared about one another and talked about learning Falun Gong when they got out. Everyone knew the truth and over 50 inmates who came and went chose to quit the CCP.
On the day I left, they cried and waved good-bye at the gate. I felt sad, as if I was parting with family. As I told the story to people outside, one person told me, “Surely the authorities wanted to release you. If you had stayed there any longer, everyone would have been practicing Falun Gong.”
During the time I was incarcerated, Master didn't abandon me. I didn't lose anything. Instead I gained a lot and experienced the happiness of being a true practitioner. I let go of my attachments to fame, gain, and emotion. I no longer felt anger and hate, as if these things had no effect on me. It is true that everything that happens on our path of cultivation is a good thing.
A few days before my release, I could see and feel some colorful rays of light around me. A month after I was released, when I sent righteous thoughts and said the word “mie,” the word became a large transparent sphere. The word was made of Fa and filled with Faluns and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. My body expanded as the word “mie” did. The righteous thoughts were enormously powerful.
I want to thank Master for everything he gave me and fellow practitioners for their selfless help.