(Minghui.org) I spent one week memorizing Master’s new Lunyu, then another month studying it thoroughly to understand the meaning behind every word and sentence.
Committing Lunyu to memory helped me to truly understand what Master said:
“If every one of you can understand the Fa from the depths of your mind, that will truly be the manifestation of the Fa whose power knows no boundary...” (“Cautionary Advice” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
If we can truly have the Fa in our hearts, then Master can help us with anything.
When I first started practicing Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong), I hadn’t thought about asking Master for help when experiencing difficulties. But when I realized that we should do this, I set myself a rule: to give Master a daily report on the progress of my cultivation, to confess if I have made a mistake, and to promise Master that I will make amends.
I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over 10 years, and have greatly benefited from constantly involving Master in my life.
My heart is pained when I read articles on the Minghui website informing us of Dafa practitioners being arrested, sentenced and tortured.
I often send forth righteous thoughts in tears, hoping that these practitioners could use their righteous thought to negate the persecution. We really need to bring out our supernormal abilities that Master says each of us has to negate the persecution.
Whenever I talk to people about Dafa or hang up Dafa posters at night, if I have the slightest notion of fear, I remind myself that Master is by my side so no one would dare to harm me.
One time, I was distributing informational materials when I heard someone shouting aggressively, “Stop! Stay where you are! Are you passing out Falun Gong stuff?”
I panicked a little, but then quickly said to Master in my heart, “Thank you Master, for sending someone with predestined relationship over so I can save him.”
I said to the person, “Yes, indeed! Would you like one?”
His attitude seemed to change. “Yes! Yes!” he replied, “I just love reading Falun Gong materials.”
I offered him the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party booklet and DVD and other materials.
He put everything carefully away in his bag and told me, “I will go home now to read and enjoy what you have given me.”
Other people who happened to walk by seemed to be affected by his enthusiasm and accepted Dafa materials from me. Some of them even quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
Another time, I was on my bike waiting for the light to change at a crossroads, when I noticed a well dressed middle-aged man walking towards me. So I handed him a copy of the Nine Commentaries.
He ran into a rage, grabbed the handle of my bike, and yelled, “Don’t think of getting away. You dare to distribute this kind of stuff in broad daylight! You are anti-government, anti-Party and anti-China!”
I sent forth a powerful righteous thought to eliminate the evil's grip on him in other dimensions. I also pleaded for Master to save this poor soul.
Hearing this man shouting, his companion come over and, in a quieter voice said, “I've been looking for this booklet! Please, give it to me!”
Seeing his companion leave with the booklet, the man said, “I also want a copy! Please give me one.”
I reached into my knapsack and gave him a booklet.
My son is grown up and has his own family now, so I have been living alone for many years. This has made it possible for me to go out and validate the Fa without hindrance.
However, in 2012, my mother was diagnosed with heart disease and had a stroke. She asked if I could come live with her to take care of her.
I have an elder sister, also in poor health, who contributed 500 yuan of her retirement money every month to help out our mother financially.
I also have a younger brother and sister who are not yet of retirement age.
My younger brother and his son live with my mother in her small one-bedroom apartment. If I moved in with them, it would be quite a tight squeeze.
My younger brother is in his 50’s, yet he can't hold down a decent job. He spends most of his time reading novels on his cell phone or playing Mahjong. He also drinks and smokes. He contributes nothing towards the living expenses, but has no problem spending his mother’s money. He eats what Mother cooks but always complains about the food.
His son, in his late teens, is no better and spends his days on the Internet. He steals money from my purse, even though I try my best to hide it.
I wanted to move my mother out to live elsewhere but she adamantly refused, as she was afraid that her precious boys would go hungry.
So the four of us were packed into a small space. Squeezed in with a woman who's ill and needs attention, and two bulky guys who reek of smoke and drink, I was on the verge of mental collapse.
The agreement was that I only needed to look after my mother and didn’t need to contribute financially, but that soon changed in all aspects.
My attachments to self-interest, competitiveness, combativeness, resentment and grievances all surfaced and vexed me to no end.
I was fine when I was able to go out to talk to people about Dafa, but as soon as I returned home, I was at my wit's end.
I needed to study the Fa, but the TV was on full blast. I needed to do my exercises, but there was no suitable place to do it. Many a time when I offered up incense to Master, tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.
I lived like this for more than three years, until one day, it suddenly dawned on me: My family members are people whom I need to save. I must look at them the same as I look at others – with compassion.
I willingly did my brother and nephew's washing and helped them out where I could. When I treated them with genuine concern and compassion, I felt ashamed of how I treated them before.
A few days later, my elder sister invited our mother and me to live in her soon-to-be vacated apartment because she planned to move south with her son.
Her apartment is spacious enough for the both of us, and now I'm able to study the Fa in the morning and go out to talk to people about Dafa in the afternoon. My mother helps me put Dafa materials into my knapsack, and I prepare Fa lectures for her to listen to when I’m gone. We perform the same routine every day.
I've truly come to realize that one’s cultivation environment is a reflection of one’s cultivation state.
Practitioners are aware of the need to look inward when facing conflicts, yet when it really happens it's not that easy to overcome and is rather difficult to bear.
One time, a practitioner whom I often work and cooperate with commented that I have strong demon-nature, and that the more I worked, the stronger my demon-nature became.
I found her hurtful words difficult to take. She kept talking and berating me to the point where I was ready to burst into tears.
I kept reminding myself, “Forbearance. Forbearance. Forbearance…”
Master must have seen me trying my best to forbear, so he reinforced my righteous thoughts, and I thought, “It must be something that I did wrong to have caused the practitioner to be so critical of me.”
As I looked inward I sensed some bad substance leave my body at once, and then I felt extremely light.
From then on, every time I encounter a conflict, my first thought is, “I did wrong!”
This has now become a habit. I first admit my mistake, then I look for the root cause to weed it out.
Before 2012, I spent most of my time involved in the rescue efforts of detained practitioners, finding lawyers and traveling to different cities.
Meeting with and talking to lawyers in Beijing has drawn attention from the authorities, causing me to be monitored and having my phone tapped. Other practitioners also complained about me.
I looked inward to find out what was wrong on my part for these things to happen, and found that in the process of devoting my time and effort trying to rescue practitioners, attachments to self-interest, showing off, sentimentality, reliance on others, impatience and seeking results had surfaced.
As I was digging out my attachments a scene appeared in front of my eyes, so magical, solemn and pure that it is beyond the imagination.
The black substance that was pressing down on me was swept away by a golden beam of light. I sat stunned, as tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.
I was arrested and held at the local detention center in May 2005 for 50 days. I knew that I must fundamentally negate all arrangements by the old forces, and leave as soon as possible.
I did my best to look inward, recite the Fa, send forth righteous thoughts to negate any form of persecution. I also went on a hunger strike, and stopped eating and drinking. The guards tried to force-feed me, but without success.
I kept saying in my mind, “I will not acknowledge or accept anything that is not arranged by Master.”
I'd been locked up for 49 days before I realized that I could not just passively wait to be released, and should actively eliminate the old force elements and leave there, as there were people on the outside that I must save.
The following morning, the head of the detention center, who had already quit the CCP, made an urgent call to the 610 Office stating that I must be released immediately.
I returned home safely on the 50th day of my detention.
I was forced to leave home to avoid persecution several years ago, and many practitioners helped me out financially. One even had the courage to take me in, and I ended up staying there for almost two months.
There's no way I can return their kindness and generosity, but I did eventually offer to pay my debts.
When practitioners refused to accept my money, I donated it to the local materials production sites to help pay for the upkeep of the place and to purchase materials.
Over the past several years, I have paid a sum total of 20,000 yuan. I know this helps in some way to keep new Dafa informational materials available for those who are awaiting them.