(Minghui.org) A fellow practitioner told me, “Your words sound about right, and your ideas are good. However, they are not effective in reaching people's hearts.”
I wondered, “I don't have any bad thoughts, and truly want people to understand the facts about Falun Dafa. I am sharing my personal experience. Why am I not reaching people's hearts?”
Zhuan Falun Gave the Answer
Master said:
“In order to save one’s reputation, what’s on one’s mind while treating illness? ‘Please let me have this illness so that the patient can be healed.’ That is not out of compassion, as one’s attachments to fame and self-interest have not been given up at all. This person is unable to develop this compassion one bit. He is afraid of losing his reputation. He would rather have this illness himself in order to keep his reputation. What a strong attachment to fame!” (Zhuan Falun)
My answer came from what Master said in Zhuan Falun. I was talking about my personal experiences because I wanted to help people, but doing so condescendingly. I was showing off, and my motive was not out of benevolence.
After I realized this, I paused for a moment before I spoke. I looked at my state of mind to detect whether the mentality of showing off was at play. If so, I suppressed it.
This particular attachment of mine is quite strong. My state goes back and forth, because I haven't been able to completely cultivate away the associated bad substances. I still talk non-stop and enjoy the attention when I am off guard.
A similar situation occurred another time. A fellow practitioner heard my speech and expressed disgust, anger, and a little disdain. I was sad for two days, for I knew that my cultivation was still far from being solid.
How should I improve? For me, cultivation involves the mind and behavior. As I improved my cultivation, I formed a habit of evaluating the purpose of my remarks and my emotions before I opened my mouth. If I detected any selfish motive or negative emotions, I tried to keep my mouth shut, because I did not want to disseminate bad substances to fellow practitioners.
Master said:
“Dafa disciples’ true selves hail from high planes.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
“But, as Dafa disciples, you all have a true self, and whether its goal in coming down to this world was to obtain the Fa, to help Master rectify the Fa, to save the beings of that paradise where you previously dwelled, whatever thought brought you here, that true you has been protected, and that true you originally served as the driving force at the beginning. But, as you know, whoever enters the Three Realms is equivalent to having been buried in soil, and gradually, that [true self] no longer manages to play the lead role—or even any role at all.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
After I read Master's words, a pure, peaceful, and compassionate state emerged in me. I thought my true self might be behind it.
I realize that when my notions and the irrational side are dominant, my true self is sidelined. Accordingly, I display a lack of sincerity and righteousness. I should then control myself to restrain my words and actions, so as not to feed energy to the false self made up of postnatal notions and karma. My true self is dominant when I am in a good cultivation state, and my state of mind and appearance are righteous and carry powerful energy.
I can discern my true self and separate it from my false self sometimes even if I am not in my best cultivation state. My true self then observes my notions and karma as they act just like a clown.
Discernment is the first step, and cleansing follows. I have become a lot more grounded. But something else happened.
I recited the Fa during a group study while everyone else read together. I hadn't memorized the content well, so I was slower than others.
“Don't defend yourself,” said a fellow practitioner. “Why have you been half a beat slower than others during group Fa study? Look inward. You have human attachments.”
I did not think that I was showing off. However, as I reflected more upon it, I realized that I was indeed showing off by ignoring the overall effect on the group. I only wanted to highlight how unique I was. It was again the mentality of showing off. The fellow practitioner warned me not to defend myself. This showed me that I had been doing exactly that in my speech.
I found time on a Saturday and recited the section “The Mentality of Showing Off” in Zhuan Falun nine times. My brain buzzed as I reached the ninth time. I knew that some bad substances were removed. Some age-old hardened attachments in my field were shattered.
My desire for compliments has lessened. Even if it emerges, I am able to stop it right away.
I often refused to help fellow practitioners at the beginning of my cultivation because I enjoyed telling them that I had been busy with other Dafa projects. I deliberately stopped saying that after I realized that the mentality of showing off was driving my words. As the attachment diminished, saying it or not saying it no longer made a difference for me.
Even though all of the above xinxing cultivation is reflected in just a slight change of my way of speaking, I know that the changes are magnificent in other dimensions – this is the power of Dafa.