(Minghui.org) Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
After the persecution was launched in 1999, I was arrested and sentenced to a labor camp. After being released, I was interfered with by all kinds of attachments. I was afraid of being persecuted again. I was worried about my husband and child. I complained about my mother-in-law. I was jealous of my co-workers. I also had lustful desires and the pursuit of comfort.
Given all these attachments, I could not validate the Fa, and do what a Falun Dafa practitioner is supposed to do. After having cultivated for many years, I had lost the happiness that I had when I first obtained the Fa. I could not study the Fa calmly, nor could I send forth righteous thoughts earnestly.
I came down with severe sickness and thought karma. I did not want to talk to fellow practitioners, when they visited me. I did not want to visit them either. I often cried and wondered, “How did my cultivation end up like this?”
Fellow practitioners tried to encourage me to get out of the house. They told me to join them and be part of the Fa-rectification. They suggested that I set up a Dafa materials production site.
A practitioner told me in 2013 that we needed a production site for Dafa books and the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. They explained that practitioners from other towns had supplied them with these materials. I was told that we could not always rely on practitioners from other towns.
This was a sign that Master wanted me to get involved and that He had not given up on me. So, I said: “I am a practitioner. I will do whatever Master wants and whatever is needed for our mission.”
Back then, I was not a good practitioner, but Master saw my righteous thoughts. With Master's protection and righteous thoughts, I have been able to walk on this path smoothly.
I purchased the equipment and supplies needed for the production site with my money. I bought three printers and paper. A practitioner gave me a used paper cutter, and another got some book covers from another town. Another practitioner got me the necessary training for making books.
When starting on this Dafa project, I had a lot of confidence, because I had done some printing at my workplace. I knew how to operate a computer and printer.
However, validating the Fa is not easy, and I faced difficulties one after the other. The printers gave me a lot of trouble. Although I thought that I had fixed them, the paper showed ink stains. Consulting with other practitioners, and fixing the ink cartridge did not help.
After a few days of problems, a practitioner visited me and shared her understanding of the difficulties. She said the process of making Dafa materials is also a process of cultivating one's xinxing. She suggested, “You need to study the Fa diligently, and send forth righteous thoughts more often.”
Then, I looked inward after she left, and found that I was impatient. I got upset if things did not go as smooth as I expected. Moreover, I thought too highly of myself. I thought making Dafa book was a piece of cake. That is when I realized that it was not merely a technical problem, but a xinxing problem.
I read the Fa and tried to correct myself. I told myself that no matter what I ran into, I should stay calm and patient, and look for the reason. If the equipment did not have any problem, I had to look inward, should not be moved by any difficulties, and remain calm.
After I rectified myself, the printers' problems were gone, and there were no more ink spots on the paper. I thanked Master for His guidance, which I experienced after cultivating myself – without Master I would not be able to do these things.
The printers were working, but I ran into trouble with the book covers. I had never done that before. The covers sometimes were folded the wrong way or were not aligned. I wasted a lot of covers. I worried, because practitioners spent a lot of money and time on those covers. How can I waste them like that?
I looked inward and realized that I was too impatient. At the workplace, I was always the diligent one. When somebody slowed down, I would take over. I had developed a quick way of doing things and could not tolerate when people were slow.
This was a cultivation issue and had become a problem. This reflected my heart of self-validating and impatience. It was not aligned with the Fa. Thus, when I tried to do things fast, I ran into trouble. The more anxious I was, the more trouble I had.
When I calmed down, I realized that being anxious is an everyday people's state, which was a subset of everyday peoples' notions. Working on a Dafa project is sacred, and anxiety will do no good. So, my heart and state must fit Dafa's criteria.
When I enlightened to this, I was able to calm down. Amazingly, the book covers turned out alright.
There is no trivial thing in cultivation. Everything can be used to improve my xinxing.
As I am retired, I have the apartment to myself after my husband leaves for work. We live on the fifth floor, and there is no elevator. Thus, I need to carry the supplies up to my apartment. It takes time and energy for a thin woman to carry the printing paper boxes to the fifth floor. Although my husband is not against me working on Dafa projects, he is not very supportive.
The boxes are heavy. One practitioner tried once, and said, “I am not able to carry them one inch, much less up five stories.”
I asked Master for help. When I felt that I could not raise my feet, and my arms were heavy, I begged Master for help. “Master, I need to carry those boxes into my apartment before anyone sees me. Please give me the ability,” – and it worked out fine.
When I had to move more boxes than usual, my husband promised to help. But, he got angry over something trivial and quit helping. I figured, “a practitioner's task needs to be done by a practitioner.” After taking the last box into my home, I was exhausted.
Then, I put too many supplies into one big box and tried to take it downstairs. It was too heavy, but after asking Master for help, I could lift the heavy box on my shoulder. When I got to the building exit, there were two guys. I thought that I could not let them see me. With this thought, I quickly moved to my car, and put the box into the trunk.
When remembering this incident I thought that it was amazing. If it wasn't for Master's help, if I were not a cultivator, I could not have done this.
The old forces try to persecute practitioners, but how can they reach their goal? If we root our heart in the Fa, and conduct ourselves like cultivators, all the tricks of the evil forces' will fail.
Once, a fellow practitioner needed about 200 Dafa books, because there were many new practitioners. This was a chance for these people to cultivate. It is the result of practitioners' clarifying the truth about Dafa. So, I should not be the bottle neck.
I worked from early morning until midnight for many days. Very often I did not have time to take a drink of water until dinner time. My husband happened to be on a business trip, so I had one meal a day.
When I tried to put the covers on the books, I could not control my fingers and arms. I said to Master: “Master, I am really too tired. Please allow me to take a nap, and I will finish it after a nap.” After the nap, I finished the books.
My fellow practitioner said: “When practitioners saw the books, new and neat, they cried. They all expressed that we must cherish these books, for they were made in such a difficult environment.”
When I took some materials to a practitioner's apartment, a few policemen were checking every car. They checked every trunk and even asked the drivers to open all the bags in the trunks. I did not expect this, and my heart started to beat fast. My body felt numb, and I felt jittery. I was very nervous and wondered what I should do. I could not turn around, but I also should not run away.
I thought: “I am Master's disciple, and nobody can touch me,” and asked Master for help: “Master, please do not allow the police touch the Dafa materials.”
Two police asked me to approach them. They greeted me politely, and asked for my driver's license. I smiled, and handed them my wallet. They then asked me to open the trunk, which I did. They saw the boxes, which had the Dafa materials. One of them touched the boxes, and said: “OK, please move on.” I got my license back, thanked them and got in the car.
Once my hand touched the wheel, my face was covered with tears. I drove away, and shouted: “Thank you, Master!” Master protected me again.
On my return home, I wondered: “Why did I run into this?” I realized that I had a notion. I mailed the lawsuit against Jiang Zemin, the former head of the communist regime, who launched the persecution. I thought I held no fear. This incident showed me that fear still existed in my heart.
Cultivation is serious. I should not deceive myself. I must solidly cultivate and improve my xinxing.
For a long time, I cultivated by myself. I tried my best to follow the Fa, because I knew that Master and other gods were watching me – I was not alone. When I was making Dafa materials, I recited Hong Yin, listened to Master's lectures, or sent forth righteous thoughts. I kept telling myself: “Be pure and righteous, eliminate all human notions, and keep righteous thoughts.”
I used to think that I didn't get enough sleep. So, for a while, I used to go back to sleep after the morning exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. Later, I experienced interference. So, I intensively read the Fa, and changed my notions. Although I still get only three or four hours of sleep, I am always energetic. This is the power of a cultivator.
Now, I am mature in cultivation. I do everything that a practitioner is supposed to do, reading the Fa, doing the exercises, and sending forth righteous thoughts. I also cooperate with other practitioners and send forth righteous thought for those who suffer from sickness karma. I help practitioners pass the test by sharing my understanding of the Fa. I am also involved in rescuing imprisoned practitioners.
I realize that Dafa disciples form a whole body. I also see the selflessness and compassion of practitioners. Everybody has a good understanding of Master's teaching:
“The next person's things are your things, and your things are his things.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference II)
I am touched by practitioners' compassion, which has helped me to improve.
For the last few years, I have faithfully walked this cultivation path. I produced Dafa materials, purchased supplies, and maintained the equipment. Other practitioners just tell me what they need, and I produce high quality materials. If practitioners from other cities need materials, I finish the task on time, and deliver the materials.
I should do these things as long as Master's needs, practitioners' needs, and the sentient beings' needs are met. Since I am a practitioner, I should finish what Master needs unconditionally. I don't have other thoughts.
When I first started this project, my husband was very worried. So, sometimes he gave me a hard time. But, I do whatever Master and fellow practitioners need. Nothing can interfere with me.
My husband has changed. He used to hold fear and concerns. But now, he helps me at times with something he can do, such as making purchases, carrying boxes, and delivering the materials to fellow practitioners. Sometimes, he joined in when we are reading the Fa and doing the exercises. He even started memorizing the Fa. He told me that he also senses Master's compassion and power of the Fa.