(Minghui.org) I have not been able to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts attentively for some time. I felt sleepy while doing the Dafa exercises, and when I participated in the project to make phone calls to clarify the truth to people in China, the few people who answered my calls did not want to listen to me.
I noticed that the shower head in my bathroom would leak once in awhile and knew that it was an indication that I had shortcomings. I looked within and found the attachment of seeking comfort.
When studying the Fa at home, I always wanted to sit comfortably instead of sitting up straight in the double-lotus position. Sometimes when I did sit in the half-lotus position, I would still rest my chin on my hand. This was seeking comfort and not respecting Master and the Fa.
My shoulder and neck also began to feel sore after making phone calls to China, so I thought it was interference. I often slouched to make myself more comfortable instead of sitting up straight.
Although I realized that these were all reflections of the attachment to comfort, I did not want to overcome them or send righteous thoughts to clear out those bad substances. The pain lasted for a long time, and my cultivation state suffered. The more I sought comfort, the stronger the attachment grew.
When I finally sat up straight in the double-lotus position while studying one lecture in Zhuan Falun, my mind was calmer, and I did not feel as sore as before.
I used to get up at 3:30 a.m. to do the Dafa exercises without any issues. Recently, I would get sleepy when I began to do the exercises or I even failed to get up to do them at all. I knew it was a problem, but did not think too much about it.
Instead, I thought that I could get one more hour of sleep, then do the exercises at 5:00 a.m. Master said:
“Because of this body, everyday people will encounter this problem: They cannot stand being cold, hot, thirsty, hungry, or tired, and yet they will still have birth, old age, illness, and death. In any case, one will not be comfortable.” (Zhuan Falun)
I realized that only non-practitioners were afraid of being tired. Gods would not behave this way. I would still be an ordinary person if I acted according to their standards.
Most people seek comfort, but cultivators should not. Gong cannot be generated if one is always in a comfortable state. So I made up mind to get up at 3:30 a.m to do the exercises. I needed to completely eliminate the substance of seeking comfort!
My heart for saving people weakened as the attachment to seeking comfort became more prominent. My dimension seemed full of sticky stuff, and I felt tired. I wanted to rest more at home after working all day.
I made fewer phone calls to China and even fell asleep once during a call. I was also not motivated to promote Dafa; I felt ashamed of wasting time instead of helping save sentient beings.
The attachment also made it difficult for me to look within. I had many things to write about recently, but it was all blocked by laziness and tiredness. I was unwilling to catch those bad thoughts to eliminate them or dig out their roots.
I also found that my attachment to earning more money was connected toseeking comfort. My goal was to make my life better and more comfortable.
Everything I have is granted by Master, but being attached to everyday life was leaving loopholes for the old forces to take advantage of. I sent forth righteous thoughts more frequently to clear my dimension and completely eliminate the attachment of seeking comfort.
In thinking about how Master looks forward to our consummation and how sentient beings are earnestly waiting to hear the truth, I was very regretful for slacking off. I was stuck in the muddy pit of seeking comfort for too long and did not do the three things asked of practitioners well!
I then came across a video of practitioners validating the Fa in front of Tiananmen square. Tears rolled down my face. How did Dafa disciples from China get through that period of the “red terror?” How much they must have suffered!
Yet, I had been taking it easy in my safe environment. I had not only disrespected other practitioners' efforts, but also Master’s goodness. I told myself, “I can no longer lag behind like this. Time waits for no one!”
One might easily think that seeking comfort originates from one’s true self, but it actually does not. We need to break through it to reach the standard of a true practitioner!