(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa before April 25, 1999. I did not study the Fa well, and encountered many tribulations along the way. I eventually stopped practicing and went back to being an everyday person for many years.
I am thankful for Master's compassionate salvation, and the chance to come back to Dafa. With unselfish help from fellow practitioners I finally truly learned who Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa, is, and what Falun Dafa is all about. I started to practice again and am now solidly cultivating.
I had a large amount of interference from thought karma during Fa study. Thoughts of disrespect and disbelief emerged. Deep down in my heart I had the feeling that I shouldn't have such thoughts, but I didn't actively remove them either. This occurred because I did not truly understand the Fa.
With the help of fellow practitioners, and lots of discussion and Fa study, my understanding of the Fa gradually improved. I also came to understand that whatever Master said was real. It is all truth. I believe that Master is truly bringing people to high levels. As long as we follow Master's Dafa as a guide for our life, we will be able to return to our original, true selves.
I visit the Minghui website daily and read the cultivation experiences and understandings written by practitioners. This has helped me to understand that the practice of Falun Dafa is the only practice that can guide people to voluntarily cultivate virtue and selflessness, especially in today's society of moral collapse.
Once one steps through the door of Falun Dafa cultivation practice, they will strive to become better every day. How magnificent this Dafa is!
Then why did I still harbor doubt? To eliminate this doubt I started to suppress any bad thoughts that arose during Fa study. I knew it was not my thought, but a “self” forged by notions, intending to destroy me and prevent me from succeeding in cultivation.
My true self started to dominate and my main consciousness became strong. I felt that my cultivation state also improved.
It used to be very difficult for me to sit with both legs crossed in the meditation position, and I could never do it for a full hour. When I returned to Falun Dafa, I thought that sitting with both legs crossed was too hard, and I could feel the fear arise whenever I recalled my past experiences. So I decided to only sit with a single leg crossed, and only for half an hour.
It was Master’s compassion that pushed me forward, and I was eventually able to sit with both legs crossed for over an hour quite easily. I was so thankful to Master.
However, after some time I couldn't manage to sit for the full hour again. Feeling that sitting for an hour was too demanding, I only sat for 30 or 40 minutes.
After studying the Fa more and improving my xinxing, I became aware that it was my fear of suffering and attachment to comfort that was interfering with my progress. I realized that the Falun Data exercises are not just ordinary exercises, but part of cultivating my mind.
I committed myself to doing one hour of sitting meditation, and this time it was much harder than before. But I did not back down, and encouraged myself to keep it up. I was tempering my determination and strong will to bear the suffering.
When it was too hard I recited Master's Fa quietly in my mind:
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living or dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectification confident and poised”(“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions” from Hong Yin II)
“…‘Nothing is truly unbearable or impossible.’…” (Zhuan Falun)
Every day I complete the sitting meditation I feel very satisfied and relieved to have finally passed this trial.
I feel that I have really only cultivated for the last three to four years. For more than a decade previously, I did not truly understand Dafa and was not in the Fa. However, fellow practitioners told me that it shouldn't be thought of in this way, as that time was also part of my cultivation.
I am thankful to Dafa, and fellow practitioners who helped me and assisted me throughout my cultivation. I will treasure this opportunity, cultivate solidly, and return home with Master.