(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Gong in May 1998. After I looked within by following Master Li's teachings and my xinxing improved, my husband changed from opposing Falun Gong to supporting my efforts on behalf of Falun Gong.
I was busy at work and did not attend group Fa study sessions before the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) initiated the persecution of Falun Gong on July 20, 1999. I therefore knew only a few practitioners and lost contact with them. Then, in 2006, I met a few practitioners and started to raise awareness of the persecution.
I went out to raise awareness with another practitioner, Mary. Because our husbands were both non-practitioners, we did not dare tell them that we were clarifying the truth about Falun Gong. On my way home, I would come up with an excuse for going out.
Linda, another practitioner, said to me and Mary, “You are always making excuses for going out to tell people about Falun Gong. How long are you planning to keep that up?”
Although I was touched by her question, I could not come up with a response. But I felt I had no other option. My husband would be angry if I told him the truth, so I did not dare to let him know. I had not eliminated my fear.
I shared my thoughts with another practitioner. She said, “Do not be afraid. Face the issue bravely. Explain the facts about Falun Gong when there is an opportunity. Along with your breakthrough in clarifying the truth, things at home will change.”
Then, the police arrested Mary. I knew my cultivation state was not good and thought to myself, “If only there was a group I could study the Fa with.” To my surprise, Linda told me I could join the group that met in her home.
I told my husband about going to Linda's home to study the Falun Dafa teachings. He got angry and refused to let me leave the house.
His response surprised me. I did not know what to do but kept one thought, “I cannot miss this opportunity to study the Fa with a group.”
I talked to him again after he calmed down and asked him why he was worried about my attending the group. My daughter also tried to appease him. He compromised and told me that I could go now and then. I agreed, but said that I would go from Monday to Friday, and he did not object.
I continued going out to tell people about Falun Gong, but did not do well on the home front. My husband and daughter came home for lunch, but I didn't have their meal ready for them in time.
I thought that since I was out telling people the situation about Falun Gong, they should be able to eat lunch a little late. But I did not argue, and said, “I am wrong. I will have your lunch ready on time.”
I returned home late again the next day, and my husband said, “You know you are wrong. You need to change!” Because I did not think that I was in the wrong, I kept coming home late often after that.
My husband had bought a minivan to deliver packages to make a living after losing his job with a state enterprise. When he returned home for lunch on another day, a customer called and asked him to deliver some packages. I asked my husband to wait a minute, so I could make him a little lunch.
He said he had to leave, and chastised me, “You said that practicing Falun Gong was good. Yet, you don't come home to prepare lunch on time and don't change after you promise that you will. How can I believe that you are good?”
I felt bad, because he worked all morning and had nothing to eat when he came home at lunchtime. He is a kindhearted and reasonable man. I was in the wrong. I hoped that he would think well of Falun Gong, but I was not looking at the issue from his point of view. How could I show him that Falun Gong is good?
Master said,
“True spiritual practice means cultivating your mind, working on yourself, and reflecting on your role in things rather than blaming your circumstances.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I then started to truly look within and cultivate myself. I cooked cereal before I left home in the morning just like he liked it. I prepared food for the next day, and sometimes I bought lunch on my way home. I prepared the meals for my husband and daughter on time, and they no longer went hungry because I came home late.
I finally understood what Master meant by looking within. When I previously looked within, I looked for other people's problems instead of mine. Along with Fa-study and improving my xinxing, I enlightened that it was most important to look within unconditionally, because there must be some attachment I had to relinquish.
My husband told me one day prior to the Chinese New Year a few years ago that the transport police had fined him 800 yuan.
I said, “I asked you to donate money to print Falun Gong informational materials, but you refused. Now you've been robbed.” He said, “What could I do? I couldn't leave without paying the fine.” I said, “They are doing wrong by levying fines like that. You would be doing a good deed if you donated to the informational materials production site in the future.”
On New Year's Day, I told my husband that I was going to donate to the production site and hoped that he would, too. He has since donated 500 yuan every year and does not object when I do, too.
It was not easy for us, given that our earnings were limited. My salary was low, and he was laid off. We could not afford to pay our daughter's school tuition, so her aunt paid it for her.
Her aunt had a better income but did not agree with Falun Gong. One day she said, “You said Falun Gong is good. Who helps you? I help you.” I felt bad and decided that my husband and I would pay our daughter's tuition for next year.
We were fortunate, because my husband got a delivery job the next year. That meant we had enough for the tuition, and on top of that we could save some money.
In 2015 I used my real name to file a complaint against Jiang Zemin, the former head of the communist regime, who launched the persecution of Falun Gong. I did not tell my husband. A police officer called me to verify the complaint in October. My husband found out and complained that I should not have done that because it would cause trouble for the family.
After he calmed down, I explained why I had filed the complaint. I also asked a fellow practitioner to help explain. My husband said, “The police told you to go to the police substation.” I was fearful however, and did not want to go. He was afraid to go, too. Everyone in China knows that the CCP persecutes people for no good reason.
A few days later, however, his attitude changed completely. He said, “Fear cannot solve the issue. I have thought it over. There is nothing to fear. You stay home. I will go to the police substation for you.”
I was surprised, and admired his courage. In turn, I felt embarrassed, because I am a practitioner, but I was letting my non-practitioner husband face the issue for me.
When I calmed down, I said to him, “You are so kind. A few years ago, you didn't understand my cultivation. It wasn't your fault. I didn't do well when it came to following the Falun Gong principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I am gradually letting go of selfishness. I am apologizing to you.”
We agreed on protesting the persecution. I asked him to read articles on the Minghui website written by fellow practitioners about suing Jiang that night. It was the first time he had ever visited the website.
He went to the police substation the next day. I told to him before he left, “Remember to ask Master Li for help!”
When he returned home he said, “I told the police that Falun Gong is good. I told them that we no longer had any doctor bills, since you practiced Falun Gong. I said it was Jiang Zemin who persecutes Falun Gong.
“The police officer had a video camera on his shoulder, but I wasn't afraid. I thought, ‘Whether you take a video or not, I don't care.’”
I suggested that we watch the video of Master teaching the Fa in Guangzhou together, and he agreed. We did that every day.
He said his headache disappeared after watching the second lecture. I said, “You were rewarded for having the courage to go to the police substation to speak up for Falun Gong.”
We finished watching the video together. In the past, my husband had a fever due to inflamed tonsils every year, and had to go to the hospital for injections. He now no longer needs those injections.
I thought back on my path of cultivation. My husband initially objected to my practicing Falun Gong, and I went out to clarify the truth behind his back. We had many conflicts because of that. Compassionate Master gave me a hint to be righteous instead of stubborn.
I enlightened that stubbornness is a human notion, while righteousness is practiced by practitioners who cultivate well. I've since looked within. Along with improving in cultivation, my home environment changed, and my husband no longer stops me from telling people about Falun Gong. He changed from disapproving of Falun Gong to supporting my efforts on behalf of Falun Gong.
(From the 15th China Fahui on Minghui)