(Minghui.org) I would like to share my experience of passing the test of life and death. It has encouraged me greatly in my cultivation, and I hope that it will be helpful to fellow practitioners.
In August 2016, I suddenly noticed a hard lump on the right side of my abdomen under my ribs. When I slept or bent over, it was very painful. The lump was obviously a test for me.
Later, the symptoms worsened. I would get tired when I walked and chilly when I slept. The symptoms lasted for close to two months. I did not know how long I could hold out. I started to worry and thought I was dying. I tried to calm down and eliminate the bad thoughts. In my mind, I knew that I had not finished my mission yet, so I could not leave.
From the standpoint of the Fa, I knew that Master taught us that cultivators do not have illness, so I knew that the symptoms were an illusion. However, the hard lump was indeed there. I could feel it, and it hurt.
I was certain that it was not an illness, so I didn't think I should go to the hospital to give my body over to doctors. But I was suffering both physically and mentally. My condition worsened as the days went by. Within a month, I'd lost over 20 pounds. Fellow practitioners were all surprised to see me like that. I had to tell them that I was on a diet and was trying to lose weight.
I tried to calm down and tell myself to only walk a cultivator’s path by following Master’s Fa principles with righteous thoughts.
Master said,
“Somewhere in the body one may have a tumor, infection, osteophytosis, etc. It is because in another dimension there lies a being in that place. That being is in a very deep dimension.” (Zhuan Falun)
“After you remove that being, you will find that there is nothing wrong with the body in this dimension.” (Zhuan Falun)
I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil being behind the hard lump.
Master also said,
“Whenever there is interference of one kind or another in qigong practice, you should look for reasons within yourself and determine what you still have not let go.” (Zhuan Falun)
I searched within. What loopholes did I have? I did not handle the conflicts I had with a fellow practitioner well. I developed the attachment to resentment. Although on the surface I did not show anything, I still tried to avoid the practitioner and hadn't truly passed the test.
I also identified my attachments to comfort, to a show-off mentality, to jealousy, etc. I envied others who had happy families. I was devoted to my family, but I didn't have what I wanted. The more I pursued, the less I gained.
When I was in great pain, I thought to myself that, even if I died, I would identify all my bad attachments and eliminate them all. I kept on searching and made up my mind that, whatever the result, I would never go to the hospital. I would give everything over to Master and be a true Dafa disciple. I would let Master decide where I went.
After two months of the sickness karma, I finally found determination and was at peace. A miracle happened. I felt the urge to urinate, and, for the entire afternoon, I had to stay near the toilet. I had a human thought, “I wet my pants. Does that mean it's the end for me?” I immediately rectified that thought and sent forth righteous thoughts. I later passed some murky, pink substances in my urine.
That night, I noticed that the hard lump was gone and there was no more pain. I still had doubts until a week passed, and I realized that I had truly recovered. Master purified my body and removed the bad things for me. Thank you, Master!
After going through this test, I understood the Fa principles that Master taught us concerning illness. Master made me view this hard lump in this dimension with righteous thoughts. When we suffer, we still need to remain calm and determined and firmly believe in Master. We should follow the Fa principles to rectify our thoughts and actions. With Master’s protection, our life will be changed and elevated.