(Minghui.org) Since my arrival in a new country, I have been working on Dafa media projects. It has not been smooth sailing for me.
Today it dawned on me that everything I have encountered at work--be it technical issues or troublesome interpersonal relations--is all trivial. It doesn't matter whether I have been right or wrong. What is more important is that I learn from these encounters. Such tribulations enable me to expose my hidden human attachments so I can rid myself of them, make improvements in my cultivation, and save sentient beings.
When you work in a low-level position in a media company, it is like being the “junior monk:” You have to work very hard and are put under a lot of pressure. Over time, you will feel that it is unfair and want to quit. I myself had that exact experience. Actually, it was because I was too narrow-minded.
I am the only child in my family. I excelled at school and did well at work. Because of this, I have always been very competitive, thought highly of myself, and looked down on others. I was never one to take criticism kindly.
On occasions when my manager criticized me or pointed out my mistakes, I usually took it very badly. I thought I was right and that they were wrong due to their lack of professionalism. That, of course, was my feeling of superiority. I even harbored resentment against the people who criticized me. For some time, I lost my enthusiasm and became uncooperative.
After a few unpleasant experiences at one media company, I switched to another one. But the same thing happened again: When I was criticized by my manager, I was terribly upset, had feelings of resentment, and was overtaken by other negative emotions.
Why couldn’t I just deal with it calmly? Everyone makes mistakes, I knew. I should just correct my mistake when I discovered it myself or when others pointed it out to me. I felt upset only because my manager had pointed out my mistake repeatedly in a severe tone of voice and in the presence of many other people.
I read in Fa study:
“Getting an earful of other people’s flattery about how capable he was, he would also not respect qigong masters from righteous schools. If someone said something bad about him, he would be upset. This person’s attachments to fame and self-interest were all developed. He considered himself better than others and extraordinary. ” (Zhuan Falun)
I realized the cause was my attachment to fame and self-interest. I liked to hear only praise and could not bear any negative opinions about me. If I lost face, I would lose “fame,” and ultimately I would also lose the “self-interest” supposedly brought about by fame. I was resentful since I could not accept these losses. I know now that I must pay attention to ridding myself of these attachments, as they are what a cultivator must let go of.
I then realized why I previously had thoughts of leaving my job: I failed to look within when given the opportunities in my work environment. I tended to look externally, taking my manager’s criticisms as a form of Party culture, something akin to a public denouncement prevalent during the Cultural Revolution. My manager, in this case, might also need to get rid of human attachments, but I would not find the answers by looking externally.
We can only improve ourselves in conflicts if we look within for any shortcomings. Therefore, it’s crucial that we look at ourselves rather than pick on the other person’s failings. If I had taken the criticisms in a positive way—that my fellow cultivator was helping me to improve myself—I would have accepted the criticisms humbly and corrected my mistakes. If that had been the case, I would not have felt resentful. It would have been possible for me to continue working in that media.
While working in our media projects, if we not only do our jobs well every day but also cultivate ourselves by looking within at all times, we will indeed be following Master’s teachings:
“Study the Fa well, and, with a foundation laid by your having cultivated well, your righteous thoughts will naturally grow stronger and you will surely do well with what Dafa disciples are supposed to do.” (“Greetings” from The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
I vow to complete my mission and return home with Master.