(Minghui.org) As a former teacher from northeast China, I have cultivated in Falun Dafa, also called Falun Gong, for 21 years. The Dafa principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance kept uplifting my moral realm, and Dafa's powerful five exercises enabled me to become healthy and young-looking. When I clarified the truth about Dafa to people, it was difficult for them to believe that I was 57 years old and already retired.
I was very weak from the time I was a child. I also was weak when teaching students and had to change to an easier job with more time to rest, which later provided a good condition for me to study the Fa more.
I was diagnosed with pleurisy at the age of 30. My left lung was pressing into my ribs, and the liquid inside my lung formed an egg-yolk size growth. When I breathed deeply, yawned or coughed, my lungs would hurt a lot. When I got home after work, I immediately went to bed, so I could not clean my house, and it was covered with dust. I also suffered from kidney stones, severe gastritis, and bronchitis, needed injections, and had to take a lot of medicines.
I felt life was very hard. I didn't feel well but had to work to support the elderly and the young in my family. My husband was born when his mother was 46 years old. He was spoiled growing up and had no idea how to do housework.
I disliked many things that I saw in society and felt the world was very dirty, and that there was no clean place. So, except for going to work, I usually stayed at home to read books and magazines. The future seemed hollow and remote, and life had no meaning for me.
One day, a colleague showed me the book, Zhuan Falun, which caught my interest. This was the first book about cultivation that I had looked at. I thought, “This book is great! The principles of being a human are exactly how I feel; the author is very learned, and he mentioned things that even involved astronomy and geography.”
I felt different and in a good mood after reading Zhuan Falun. After I finished reading it, I read it again and understood that it was a Buddha school method to teach people cultivation! Zhuan Falun opened my mind and awakened some memory deep in my heart. I knew this was what I wanted, and decided to practice it! I bought a full set of Dafa books that had been published at that time. On my way home, I was thinking, “I want to cultivate! I have a Master!”
All my discomfort disappeared since that day. I had endless energy, and never felt tired. However, I could not eat meat. The smell of meat nauseated me. But I had only just finished reading the book and had not yet learned the exercises. I wondered, “How could my diseases be healed? This practice is amazing! This Master is so great!”
Only after I started to practice did I learn that Master had already begun to spread the Fa teaching six years earlier and that there were many people in my area practicing it. I was surprised that I had not seen or heard of it before.
Thus, I spent all my spare time on my practice, not wasting a minute. My job was only busy at the beginning and end of each year, so the rest of the time I could go to work early in the morning, get my work done, and then sit in the office to study the Fa for the rest of the day.
Housework is a must-do daily issue, including laundry, cooking, cleaning house and eating, requiring about three hours a day. I thought it was a pity to use so much time! So I bought a recording of Master's lecture and listened while doing household chores or eating. I concentrated so intently as I listened that I did not taste the food I ate.
I studied this Fa repeatedly, taking up to three days to finish reading Zhuan Falun once. Sometimes I finished reading the entire book in one day. If I was slacking off a little, I would dream of picking mushrooms or eating mushrooms at night. [The pronunciation of the Chinese character, “mushrooms” can also mean procrastinate to the Chinese people in the northeast.] Or I dreamed that a schoolteacher asked me to stay after school to study math. [The pronunciation of the Chinese word “math” can also mean speeding up to study faster.] I knew that Master was giving me a hint that I should study the Fa faster. I then read Zhuan Falun within one week, and then studied other Dafa books.
Dafa's principles nourished my heart, expanded my capacity, improved my character and uplifted my character. I learned that the purpose of life is to obtain Dafa and return to my original, true self. Therefore, cultivating in Dafa was the biggest and the most important part of my life. Every day I melted into the Fa; my mind was empty except for the Fa.
I got up at 3:30 a.m. to practice the five exercises. The fifth was the most difficult. At first, I could only cross my legs for half an hour; one week later, the length of time extended to an hour with a kind of pain that I had never experienced in this life. Sweat and tears were interwoven with the pain each time; even my conjoined hands were sweating.
Master said:
“Some people are afraid of the pain from crossing their legs, so they uncross their legs and don’t want to go on. And some people can’t stand it if their legs are crossed for a little bit longer. But when they uncross their legs the meditation was in vain.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun )
I thought I could not uncross my legs because Master also said, “The reason is, when their legs hurt, we can see that the black matter is attacking their legs. The black matter is karma, and suffering eliminates karma and turns it into virtue.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun )
I asked myself, “How much karma have you generated through life after life? Who lets you create karma? See if you have still made karma or not. Let me suffer anyway, I won't die because of the pain.” I kept repeating Master's Fa, “It’s hard to endure, but you can endure it. It’s hard to do, but you can do it.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
An hour later, still in the sitting meditation position, the leg pain made me afraid to touch my legs, let alone take them down. I had to wait more than one hour to stand up and walk. But I persisted in practicing the exercises like this every day and never took my legs down halfway through.
Before practicing Dafa, I could not endure suffering. My practicing of Dafa is different. Studying the Fa made me understand that our reincarnation into a human life is to obtain Dafa. We do not know how much suffering Master has borne for us, so I have no reason not to be diligent. What does this little pain matter?
This change in my world view also changed my attitude towards life. Understanding the true meaning of life made me happy and broadminded. At home, in the workplace, or out and about, I behaved strictly according to Dafa's principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I always treated people with a tolerant attitude, was not concerned about personal loss, and was kind to others. Falun Dafa's Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance was rooted in my heart.
A month later, when I got up in the morning to practice the exercises, I could not move my right side, and it seemed like I was having a stroke.
Master said, “Your body might suddenly feel unwell, and that’s because you have to pay for your karma. It’ll manifest in a lot of different ways.” （The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun）
My first thought was that I might be having a stroke, as my immediate family has had a history of high blood pressure: my grandfather, my father and his brother all died from high blood pressure, causing brain hemorrhaging. Also, my younger brother and my uncle's children all were diagnosed with high blood pressure.
I thought, “I am a cultivator – this is dissolving karma. Thanks to Master for dissolving karma for me, this is great! I have to get up to practice.” But I was afraid to wake up my husband. What if he took me to the hospital? Thus, I asked Master to help me and tried to get out of bed. I moved my body inch by inch to the door, opened it with much effort, and went to the living room to practice the sitting meditation.
Half of my body did not listen to my mind, so I could not sit too well. But, I was still happy without other thoughts or feelings. An hour later, the symptoms disappeared, as if nothing had happened. All was normal. I knew that Master saw my righteous thoughts and improved character, so he bore it for me. I was happy and grateful to Master from my heart. If I didn't cultivate, I would have had that ailment. Master really is always watching over us.
One evening, I was heading home in the shuttle bus provided by our employer to get to and from our workplace. A leader of our subordinate unit got on the bus and began to criticize someone. He may have been drinking because others said they could smell it. The whole busload quietly listened to his tirade, and then I realized he was insulting me! Although I wasn't yet 40 years old, I was a respected person in my workplace and in society. No one had ever insulted me from the time I was a child until then. I wondered what was the matter.
I figured it out that I had arranged the workload the previous day and had given some to him.
He was unhappy, and today he was venting his anger when he was drunk. He kept ranting at me until he got off the bus. I was calm and felt no immediate emotional reaction, as if he was not really upset with me.
The next day, he apologized when he saw me. I smiled and greeted him as if nothing had happened. I thought to myself, “I have to thank you because you are helping me to improve my character!”
I was working one afternoon, about four months after I obtained the Fa. I received an urgent call, asking me to go to my mother's home immediately. When I arrived, I saw my mother, who is also a practitioner, laying on the sofa, unable to move one side of her body. I was very calm, thinking, “Mother cannot read. She can only listen to Master's Fa recordings. I don't know how many Fa principals she understood.”
I asked her, “Do you think this is dissolving karma or that you're sick? If you consider it to be an illness, we must take you to the hospital. If you firmly consider yourself to be a Dafa disciple, it's not an illness, but karma dissolving. My younger brother [also a practitioner] and I will help you break through it at home. We have Master in charge, so we are not afraid.”
We, of course, didn't want to let Mother give up on passing the test and encouraged her. She didn't say she wanted to go to the hospital. My brother was on his holiday and could take care of her during the day. I worked during the day, so I stayed with her at night. My mother's whole body was puffy the next day. Both my brother and I were stable with no fear. We firmly believed in Master.
I told her about how I passed my illness tribulation to encourage her and we listened together to Master's Fa. I asked Master to strengthen her. After two days, she urinated a great deal. Her swelling was gone, she'd regained sensation in her upper body, and she was getting better. We both had more confidence.
That night I dreamed about Master for the first time. Master's huge body was sitting three floors high in the air, wearing the same yellow clothes as in his exercise instruction tape, with one palm pointing to the sky. It was dark in my dream, but I could see Master very clearly. His face was kind and serious. I ran to him like a child with hands conjoined at my chest, "Greetings, Master!"
At this time, a bus arrived and stopped in front of me. As the door opened. I boarded to see it was full of people, all unknown to me except our local coordinator, who stood next to me. I woke up and thought, “Is this Master encouraging us, or is he telling me something?” I knew nothing happened for no reason. I realized at that time that, no matter what happened, I should not sway from the Fa. Meanwhile, I looked inside to see if there were any improper words or deeds I may have said or done.
On the third day after I had that dream, my younger brother went into a coma without any warning. My youngest brother, who didn't cultivate, but supported Dafa, came home from a business trip and took Mother and our brother to the hospital. My younger brother died a few days later, at the age of 34. In just a few days there was such a big change in my family. Then I thought about the dream I'd had a few days before and I realized something.
I was helping to settle my brother's funeral. Friends and relatives around me were crying. I did not have any feelings, nor tears. My mind was abnormally calm, thinking, “It must be my brother's own problem; it has nothing to do with Dafa. People have their own lives!”
Master said, “You can’t interfere with other people’s lives, you can’t control their fates, be it your wife’s, your kids, your parents, or your siblings. Is that something you decide?” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun )
I understood that lives who obtained the Fa all had a good place to go. I suddenly felt my heart quivering, like splitting from the center outwards, then expanding outward. There was a slight pain, when even my chest quivered from the inside to the outside, making my whole upper body quiver slightly. I could not suppress it and that feeling was so strong that even now I still remember it. It lasted about 20 seconds. I didn't know what was going on at that time and didn't brood over it. I was just busy. Later, studying the Fa made me realize that it was my body's change on the surface, when my thought realm was uplifted.
After my brother's funeral, I was still thinking about what his problem was. I was new to practicing and had not studied the teachings that well. But I firmly believed that his life had been lengthened by Dafa. Otherwise, he would have died long ago because he had an incurable disease before he started to practice Falun Gong. The doctor had said then that he would only live for three months.
Practicing Dafa healed his sickness. He could work and had renovated his new apartment. But why did he die so soon? What on earth was his problem? Many people accused me, saying that I had not let my mother and brother go to the hospital; otherwise, my brother wouldn't have died. Someone else said it was due to his practice. I said to myself, “I don't care what you say about me, but I can't accept your saying bad things about Falun Gong.”
So I went to talk with a fellow practitioner who had obtained the Fa earlier than me. But she couldn't figure it out either. We studied the Fa together and read the following Fa.
Master said,
“But some people are older and they don’t have that many years left, so there’s a chance they don’t have enough time. Our Falun Dafa can solve that problem by shortening the cultivation process. And also, this is a practice that cultivates both nature and longevity, so when you keep cultivating, it keeps extending your life, and as you keep on practicing, it keeps on extending it. So this way the older folks among us with good bases will have enough time to practice. But there’s just one condition. The time that your life is extended for beyond your predestined, original course of life, that time is solely for you to practice. If your thinking goes even a little off track it’ll put your life in danger, because your course of life ended a long time ago. But this doesn’t apply to you if you’ve gone beyond Triple-World-Law cultivation. Then it’s different.” (First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Learning this, I understood that my brother felt his sickness was healed by his practice. He later moved into a new building and had a good life, so he let up in his cultivation. I remember that a fellow practitioner invited us to go and watch Master's Fa-lecture recording from overseas. I called my brother and asked him to come with us. He answered the phone and said he was playing poker with friends, and he was passing out under the table because he lost the game. Another time, I called him to study the Fa. He answered and said that he was playing poker, lost again, and was sticking paper slips on his face.
One morning, I called him to go outside to practice the exercises. He lazily answered the phone, “Sister, I don't want to get up today. I just want to sleep for a while.” I heard his wife urge him to get up, but he still did not go. I also remembered that he heard Master said many words in his ear in his dreams, but he could hear only “cherish.” I knew Master asked him to cherish the opportunity and take care of himself because obtaining the Fa is not easy. I didn't give it more thought. My studying the Fa did not go deep, and my understanding was shallow!
I understood this and then talked with my family members, especially my sister-in-law. They all understood. When quite a few people I knew in the community asked me or talked about my brother, I said that Dafa extended his life; if not for practicing Dafa, he would have died long ago.
A few days after my brother died, my mother recovered, but she gave up her cultivation practice. I thought, "Let it be. Master told us we can't force others to practice Dafa."
Experiencing this, I realized that studying more Fa is the key to walking each step well. Studying the Fa well enables us to have strong righteous thoughts, and one won't be trapped in emotion when encountering such matters. In fact, Master has arranged well the cultivation path for each truly cultivating disciple. Everything we encounter during the cultivation process is related to ourselves. This experience let me sense more strongly about Master's efforts. In order to let us walk well, he is protecting us all the time and helping us understand the Fa principles. What reason can we use to not cherish this rare chance?
After this matter was dealt with, I had another dream, and that scene seemed as if it just happened. I walked out of the hospital and saw a tree on the right. It had not a single leaf, just red fruits. It was very beautiful. I stood under the tree for a while, thinking, “How beautiful! How come I've never seen it?” Many people passed by, but none could see the tree. I walked over to pick a fruit to eat. It was incomparably delicious, and I had never eaten anything like it before. Then I went home.
I realized that Master was encouraging me. Heaven only knows how much effort Master has put forth to take care of his disciples. There is nothing I can do to pay him back except to be diligent.
My practice granted me a good body and a good temper. My husband was very happy. No matter how late I left work, he was waiting for me to come home and cook, and I was never angry. My mother-in-law was also happy to see me busy from morning to night, always full of energy. She smiled and said, “Isn't this child silly? How come she doesn't feel tired?”
My husband's personnel director at work talked with him after July 20, 1999, asking him to force me to give up my practice. He came home to persuade me, saying, “Please feel good and just practice at home. Don't go outside to talk about Falun Gong or contact others.”
I said, “What I am doing is not wrong, because Master teaches us to be good people. I have to tell others that Falun Gong is good and that we have been framed, so others won't be fooled. If I don't say anything, won't that be admitting their lies? You have also seen that I recovered from my illnesses after practicing Falun Gong. If I don't tell the truth, isn't that being ungrateful? You should not try to control me, and neither can you, even if you want to.”
He could not help but be angry, and sometimes he hit me. I told him not to bother. I was thinking, “Can you control me? The only person who can control me is my Master!” Then he asked, “Is Li Hongzhi your father?” I answered, “Closer than a father!” He said nothing but, “Get ready for a divorce.” I said, “Ok, let's do it.” I was thinking that he had benefited so much from Dafa--how could he turn around so quickly? It is not good to stay with this kind of person. I had no problem divorcing him.
Two days later, he came home to say that his supervisor asked him again. He said, “I hit her and scolded her, and nothing worked, only divorce was acceptable.” His supervisor chuckled and said, “She is so wonderful. What are you divorcing her for?” I asked him, “Do you want a divorce or not?” He said, “Divorce for what? Let's stay together for a while.” Since then, he had not interfered with me too much; only when he was in a bad mood did he criticize me.
I felt that it was not easy for him since not only his coworkers, but also his classmates, friends, and whoever contacted him for work all knew that his wife practiced Falun Gong. However, sometimes he was out of control. He lost face and came home to denigrate me. I turned a deaf ear to him. It was fine as long as he didn't interfere with my Fa-study and practicing the exercises.
Thus, I practiced without much interference, but I held myself to Dafa's standards more strictly. I made a decision that I had to act in accordance with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in everything and everywhere, showing people that Falun Dafa is good!
I had practiced Dafa for half a year, when, in May 1999, my employer received an order from the higher-ups that Party members and cadres were forbidden to practice Falun Gong. My supervisor came to me for a talk. I gave him Zhuan Falun to read. He read it, gave it back to me, and said, “Quite good, there is nothing wrong with it.” Because of the physical and mental changes I experienced through my practice, people around me witnessed the goodness of Dafa. They said I practiced well and was a good person. For this reason, a lot of my colleagues asked me to get a copy of Zhuan Falun for them. My supervisor did not give me too much of a hard time either.
Everyone in my work-unit and the subordinate unit leaders was notified to come to the conference room for a meeting on July 20. Arriving there, the supervisor said we were required to watch a program on television. After the TV was turned on, I saw that the program maligned Falun Gong. I was surprised and stunned.
I watched for a while and thought it was unacceptable, so I stood up and said loudly, “Isn't this a lie? I've practiced for almost a year; Falun Gong is not what they described. How can the Party turn black into white? If that's the case, I quit the Party!” I was a little excited when I said it. Everyone looked at each other dumbfounded, and no one uttered a word.
Since then, wherever I went, I would seize opportunities to speak about how good Dafa was, how I benefited from it, and how the TV program maligned Dafa, and it was all lies. But the evil momentum at that time frightened people and few dared to listen to me. Some said, “If it's good, just practice at home. You must not tell others.” Some left quickly as soon as they heard the words, “Falun Gong.” I was very upset, wondering how my mouth could compete with the media's extensive fabricated propaganda?
Among the local practitioners, some gave up, some began to learn a different qigong, some were detained in a forced labor camp, and some walked away. Whenever I was alone at home, I cried in front of Master's image. I don't know how many times I shed tears during that time. As soon as I thought about Master, my eyes were filled with tears. What was happening? How could I deal with such huge lies?
The invisible pressure in my heart made me feel very bad; one day seemed a year. From time to time I heard that someone burned Dafa books or that others not only gave up but also helped persecute Dafa practitioners.
I shed tears and said to Master in my heart, “How could this be so? How sad Master must be! May Master rest assured knowing that if there is only one person on this earth to keep practicing, that is me! My faith in Master and Dafa is as hard as a rock, and nothing can shake it!”
I slowly settled down and continued to study the Fa a great deal. As long as I did, my mind became clearer. I was pondering, “What should I do? I can't be so quiet. How can I make people listen to me?” There was no such expression as “clarifying the truth” at that time. I thought about talking to with friends and relatives who knew me well and also had witnessed my recovery from illnesses. Once they understood, I could talk to those that did not really know me.
However, what to do with those who dared not listen? I chose to talk with each person alone, not letting a second person see or hear, hence, reducing peer pressure on the listener, who could feel my trust. This proved to be effective.
Thus, I kept working, living, and studying the Fa and meanwhile, clarifying the truth with people around me. The surrounding environment was more relaxed gradually, and I didn't feel that big ideological pressure any longer.
My workplace had good working conditions as well as employee welfare benefits. Employee's medical expenses were reimbursed every year. In terms of medicine, as long as the receipt for it had the employee's name on it, whether written in the hospital or local pharmacy, our supervisor would put his signature by the end of the year for reimbursement. Before I practiced Dafa, I was ill a lot and needed to take medicine every day. My medical expenses each year totaled over 3,000 yuan, excluding hospitalization costs, which were paid directly by check by my work-unit.
After I practiced Dafa, I no longer needed to go to the hospital or had any drug expenses. I wasn't sick and saved money for my company.
My supervisor and colleagues were very impressed. But, then someone who had a good relationship with me said, “Why are you so foolish! You are not sick but your family members need to take medicine. Why not take some for them? Who else doesn't take free prescribed medicine?”
I told her, “I can't pretend to need medicine, as it would oppose my practice of Dafa. Wouldn't that make me untruthful? Besides, if I let my family members enjoy my workplace benefits, wouldn't I be taking advantage of the company and lose virtue? I could not cultivate anymore.” She thought it was unbelievable, because ordinary people live for personal gain. I would be the same as them if I had not been for practicing Dafa.
I ran my workplace library and had to buy books on a regular basis. There was a time when the booksellers from the South of China came to sell books and said that I could get a kickback of up to 30 percent of the cost, as long as I bought their books. Every time I saw that the books were in good quality and were what we needed, I would buy them at the original price and refused to accept a bribe. They were very surprised and said that they had never met anyone like me.
I told them that I was practicing Falun Gong, and that it was Falun Gong that taught me to be good. I was following its principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Some asked, “Doesn't the state forbid that practice?” I told them the truth about Falun Gong. They listened until they understood, gave a thumbs up, and said Falun Gong was good!
A bookseller found my home and dropped off a set of books and fruit, and left immediately. The set contained four or five hardcover books and was worth over 1,000 yuan. I thought that keeping them was not in line with a cultivator's standard, so I took them to the library and gave the fruit to my colleagues. My colleagues said, “Falun Gong practitioners are extraordinary!”
Then, my supervisor asked me to come to his office. He said, “The television station, newspaper, and all companies turned in reports slandering Falun Gong. How come we did not present such a report?”
“We can't,” I said. “Falun Gong is being framed, and we cannot do bad things." He told me that this is what our country requires us to do, that we could not be silent. I said, “That depends on whether it is true or false. If we help liars to do bad deeds, won't we be helping the bad side to do more evil? Besides, you also know I practice Falun Gong. In what area can you say I don't practice well?”
He said, “That's two different things. You must have a meeting with the staff and make a similar news film, then send the finished film to the TV station.” I refused. He frowned, patted the table, and said, “Doesn't what I say count for anything?” I responded, “Yes, you make the decisions! But I can't agree with this!”
I continued with determination, “Or you can run a meeting to cross-examine me. It doesn't matter how big the meeting is. Call all our employees to attend and put me in the middle to find what I have done that is not in line with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. You can do whatever you want to me, but not to Falun Gong!” I patted the table when I finished my talk. The supervisor did not utter one word and also did not push his idea. That matter was finished.
I wondered afterward, “How did I have the nerve to pat the table? He is close to 60. How could I not be polite?” But I could not allow Dafa to be insulted. I knew Master strengthened me to not allow my work-unit to do such things. How many people would have been harmed? This was also to test me to see if I had sufficient righteous thoughts or not when facing the principle issue.
Since the Party started the persecution, my work-unit has never done anything to denounce Falun Gong. I know this is Master's and Dafa's virtue. Master can do anything, as long as Dafa disciples do the right thing.
The persecution continued to escalate after 2001 and 2002. The 610 Office demanded that my work-unit “transform” me. They put pressure on my company by saying that I had been publicly promoting Dafa; the impact was huge; I must be “transformed.”
My work-unit has twice put me under house arrest for more than two months. Since I did not relent, they sent me home. One year passed, and I did not relent. They took away my official title and made me work in the lowest level of our work-unit.
I firmly believe that there is nothing wrong with my faith and cultivating Dafa – under the Chinese Constitution I have the freedom to practice my faith. No one has the right to interfere.
I still take care of my family as before, no matter how harsh they treat me. I show Dafa's goodness wherever I can. Thus, my relatives, friends, and people I know witness that Dafa practitioners forbear and are selfless and kind.
They began to admire, praise, and even envy me. No one said again that I was stubborn, stupid, or a fool. Things at my home gradually changed. As long as we act according to Dafa, we will see “the shade of willows, the blooms of flowers, a place to rest our head!"