(Minghui.org) My husband was recently hospitalized for 16 days, during which time I took care of him. Sharing the room were two other patients: Alan, who was 48, and Bob, who was 85.
Alan was a bachelor. He needed to undergo an operation the next day. His niece was in panic and signed a surgical risk waiver for him. Then, she randomly found a telephone number for a nurse from the bulletin board. She said she had to go on a trip the next day, and we never saw her again.
Alan was deaf but he liked to talk. Because he couldn't hear, he spoke in a loud voice. He also liked to mind other people's business. It was not surprising that people disliked him. I was sympathetic, however, as I am a practitioner who cultivates compassion.
Bob was also a bachelor and had a distant nephew to help him. He didn't have an operation yet but had a catheter attached. His nephew always had a long face. It wasn't easy for Bob to move around. He hunched over and walked an inch at a time, with one hand carrying a urine bag and another holding crutches. Other than having sympathy for him, I also respected him for his positive attitude towards life.
The night after my husband's operation, I couldn't sleep and just rested on a chair. I heard Alan mumbling that his portable urinal was full, but no one emptied it. It turned out he had fired his nurse during the day, so nobody would empty the urinal.
Looking around, I was the only person in the room who could help. But just looking at the bloody urine wasn't a pleasant sight. If I emptied it this time, how about next time? He came to the hospital to pulverize his kidney stones. Lots of water was needed to flush away the stone powder, which meant a lot of urine in a day. I resented having to do this task. I thought, “How dare you fire your nurse?!”
I couldn't decide what to do. As a Dafa disciple, my instinct told me that I had to think about others’ needs. So, I decided to empty it. While I was doing it, Alan was so touched that he couldn't even say thank you. The container reeked of both urine and medicine. After I was done with the job, I felt as if I had swallowed a hairy insect that I couldn't spit out.
When I was half asleep and half awake, I heard a nurse say, “Please don't ask anymore. It’s no use. We are under no obligation. You can solve it yourself.” Then, Bob came back to the room. After a while, it seemed that he went out again to look for the nurse. The problem was still not solved.
Time went by, but I didn't know how long. I heard Bob let out a tormented sigh. I asked what he wanted and how I could help. He said his catheter tube was broken, and he wet his pants. He told me to bring him a pair of dry pants and help him change.
Oh my gosh! It was just as Teacher said,
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I am a woman nad had been strict and conservative from a young age. How could I casually help a man to change his pants? Nevertheless, I decided to help.
During the brief moment while I was helping him, I thought of something else that Teacher said:
“From now on the problems you confront won’t happen by chance. So please be mentally prepared. By enduring some hardships, you will come to let go of all the things an everyday person can’t.” (Chapter III, Cultivation of Character, Falun Gong)
The room was my cultivation environment at this moment. What I faced with at the present was my tribulation.
Teacher said,
“... your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others—or even future generations—along with Dafa’s eternal stability.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
“Consider others first!” A strong righteous thought flashed in my mind. Consider others! Consider others! Yes, he was a patient who was physically challenged, and he had nobody to depend on. He was 20 years older than I was and was my father's generation. In this circumstance, I was the only person who could help him. If I refused, how was I different than the nurse? If I didn't help him, how soon could his nephew come tomorrow?
One's realm determines one’s state of mind and one’s conduct. When the realm of a Dafa disciple is elevated, he is serene and compassionate. Therefore, I calmed my mind. I asked Bob to carry his urine bag, and I carefully helped him change his pants.
I thought the tribulation was over, but it wasn't. Bob insisted that I wash his pants and hang them to dry. I said he could wait for his nephew to wash them for him. He disagreed. Since my character was already elevated at the time, I did what I was asked. The smell was much worse than the portable urinal. But somehow the light in my heart was bright.
Everything was done according to Bob's satisfaction. He didn't say thanks, but I saw tears roll down his cheeks. I didn't know whether his eyes cried for themselves or he was touched by my conduct. But, I felt that I had overcome the tribulations.
From that day on, for the next 13 days, Bob didn't wet his pants. As for Alan, he didn't finish washing yet, but the doctor unplugged the catheter the next day, so he could use the toilet by himself.
After these incidents, I understood that Teacher arranged for me to let go of the fear of filth. Before that, as soon as I saw bloody urine, I would vomit. It was arranged for me to empty the urinal, and I did it. I was still attached to avoiding filthy things, as reflected by the insect sensation.
My human notions made me think that I was degraded and cheap because a woman in her 60s emptied the urinal of a man in his 40s.
Therefore, I think it was arranged that I change Bob’s pants in order to improve in my cultivation. These examples made me see that cultivation is serious. Every level of cultivation has a set of standards, and it won't count if these standards are not reached.
I also saw other human attachments in myself, such as being attached to self, looking down on certain people, and so on.
These tribulations tested my cultivation and whether I was doing it for myself or considered others. I went through a practical experience between man and enlightened being. These are the tests that Teacher arranged for me so I could improve my character.
In fact, these tasks themselves weren’t difficult. The most challenging part was how I positioned myself mentally. When I perceived the issues using my human notions, my mind was full of “me”–I am a woman, I stand tall, and so on. Using human notions to eliminate human attachments is like a camel trying to get through the eye of a needle. It is impossible!
Therefore, I need to cultivate solidly. When I perceive things from the Fa using righteous thoughts, I am compassionate and kind, and I care about sentient beings. Everything I do is for others. In this case, I saw that Alan was physically challenged and had no one to depend on.
When a cultivator goes through a tribulation and reaches the standard, it is akin to seeing light at the end of the tunnel. The same tests won't come again. Looking inward for shortcomings is important. I blame myself for not studying the Fa diligently and not cultivating solidly. If right from the beginning I was in the position of a selfless enlightened being, it would have been easy to break through the tribulation. It is simple when we cultivate based on the Fa.
When I look back, I am grateful for the opportunities that Alan and Bob created for me. Thank you, Teacher, for arranging this genuine cultivation environment.
I wanted to clarify the truth about Dafa to Alan and Bob. The first time Alan heard me talk about this subject, he tensed up and kept looking around, seemingly worried.
The nurse liked to chat with me. When I told her that I practiced Falun Dafa, she stepped back in fright and leaned against the wall. She looked at me, and for a long time, she didn't dare to say a word.
I told her my experiences: I had a car accident and broke my arm, which seemed to be hanging on my body. I also had seven broken ribs in the right side of my chest. The doctor said I wouldn't be able to move for at least 100 days, but I could take care of myself within 37 days.
The nurse was shocked. She said she had never heard of such a quick recovery in all the years of her professional experience. In the end, she agreed to withdraw from the Young Pioneers using her real name.
Bob's nephew is Xiaoxu. I once gave him informational materials about Dafa, but he shook his head. He looked at me coldly and said with contempt, “I don't read this kind of thing.” He meant he was high-class. After I told him a story about myself and he saw how I conducted myself, he showed respect. He also withdrew from the Young Pioneers and the Communist Youth League using his real name. When we said goodbye to each other, I gave him informational materials and an amulet. He carefully wrapped it and put it away. He said he would share the story with his wife and let her see it.
After Alan was discharged from the hospital, I met Peng, a new patient. She had to have an operation that day and was scared. I told her not to worry. Then I gave her an amulet and suggested that she recite “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” when she went into surgery. I said that my Teacher will protect her. I took out two amulets, thinking of giving her one and saving the other one for someone else. But she wanted both, so I gave them to her.
Two hours later, the operation was over, and she came back to the room. I asked her if she had repeated the words. She said, “Yes, I did. I will say the words every day when I get home.”
These stories show that Teacher is immensely compassionate. Without these arrangements, I wouldn't have met these people, and they wouldn't have had an opportunity to hear the truth about Dafa. Many people in China turn pale at the mention of Falun Dafa. It is indeed hard to save people!
Today, when I think of Alan, Bob, and Peng, the gratification in my heart replaces the pity I felt at first sight. I am happy for them because they have chosen to connect with Dafa and will have a bright future.