(Minghui.org) I was quite successful and content with my life until three years ago when I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I was stunned and could not believe it. For many nights, I could hardly sleep. Although I decided to have surgery, I still couldn't accept the fact that I had cancer. I wondered why this had happened to me, because I was very self-disciplined and did not think I had any bad habits.
My wife is a Falun Dafa practitioner. After she started practicing Falun Dafa, she was seldom ill. Before that, she had many ailments and needed to sleep a lot. Now she sleeps only four to five hours a night. She became good-tempered, more gentle, thoughtful, and less concerned about personal gain.
She is a teacher. While the other teachers protested for higher pensions, she said it would be fine if the pension was enough to live on. The changes I saw in her made me start to support her Dafa efforts. However, I was still suspicious about Dafa at that time.
As I was recovering from surgery, my wife encouraged me to practice Falun Dafa. I decided to start practicing so she wouldn't worry about me. I started reading Zhuan Falun.
After I read Zhuan Falun, I understood that the karma in one's body is not simply the result of what the person did for the first half of his life but that it is accumulated over many lifetimes. I thought that I had “been good,” when, in fact, “being good” is judged based on one's moral character. Today, one goes along with society's moral level, which had deteriorated over time and has moved away from the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.
My wife told me that, throughout history, there were many people who could only obtain the true Law by sacrificing their lives or suffering a lot in their previous lives. Instead, I was very lucky, because I was able to start practicing Dafa after suffering just a little bit.
I enlightened that this was a chance for me to start practicing Falun Dafa. During my recovery from surgery, I didn't feel well. I always felt there was a gigantic stone on my heart, which made me feel heavy and uncomfortable.
I hand-copied one of Master's articles:
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.”(“Realms,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
While I was copying the first sentence, I realized that I was like the wicked person who complained about unfairness. Each person who has come to this world has brought different amounts of karma with him, and he should suffer to remove it. So, why should I feel that it is unfair? Suddenly, that big stone on my heart disappeared.
Master said,
“Once you upgrade your xinxing, your body will undergo a great change. Upon xinxing improvement, the matter in your body is guaranteed to transform. What kind of changes will take place? You will give up those bad things that you are attached to.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
I felt the vastness and the lightness, a disease-free feeling that I still remember even today.
After that, I had my regular check-up, and the doctor told me that I could apply for benefits as a person with a disability, such as tax benefits. I paused for a while and then told him that I was fine, that there were other people who were in greater need of the assistance. The doctor seemed surprised, as if he were thinking, “How could it be possible that someone doesn't want more money?”
After I returned home, I told my wife about it, and she agreed with me.
Master said,
“Ordinary people have their pursuits, and we don’t seek them. As for what ordinary people have, we also aren’t interested. Yet what we have is something that ordinary people cannot obtain, even if they want to.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I also felt that I’d slightly improved my xinxing.
After I started to study the Fa, I became aware of some things in myself. Sometimes I still felt discomfort, such as soreness on this side, pain on that side, dizziness, and so on. That made me scared and worried, wondering if this or that was the start of some ailment. It was hard for me to let go of feeling this way. At first, I tried not to think about it. Then I realized that I was just trying to avoid it and was not truly letting go of my attachments.
Master said,
“The reason for your discomfort is principally that you always fear catching some illness. In fact, the things that are developed in your body are quite powerful, and they are all gong, supernormal abilities, and many living beings. If they move around, you will feel physically itchy, painful, uncomfortable, etc. The extremes of the nervous system are particularly sensitive, and there will be all kinds of symptoms.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
It was explained very clearly in Zhuan Falun. So why should I always be afraid of feeling discomfort? While looking within, I realized it was because I did not truly believe in Master and the Fa. I always forgot that I was a practitioner and always judged everything based on human notions, which was why there were always tests and hints to try to help me to let go of my attachments through stumbles and falls.
When I woke up one day, my right arm hurt and it lasted for a few days. I continued doing the exercises and studying the Fa. A few days later, I felt a movement on my right shoulder, and then the pain in my right arm lessened. There was no more pain.
Every time I read Zhuan Falun, I gained further understandings. Sometimes I didn't think I gained a new understanding, but when I was faced with a conflict or dilemma, I easily found my problem as well as a solution from what I had read in Zhuan Falun. Isn't everything covered in Zhuan Falun?
To better assimilate the Fa, I started memorizing it. At first, I could only memorize one or two paragraphs. After a year and a half, I finished memorizing Zhuan Falun for the first time. Since then, whenever I face a conflict, sentences from the Fa appear in my mind, telling me how to correctly deal with the issue.
I still have not reached perfection in my cultivation and still think with, and am moved by, human notions. However, I believe that with continuous Fa study, different parts of my body will melt into the Fa, and I will continue to improve.
Everything I encountered, whether it was physical pain or personal conflicts, were all tests to temper me. They are opportunities through which I can let go of my demon nature, such as the pursuit of fame and profit, fear, comfort, jealousy, and lust. Through this process of cultivation, I can let go of all my attachments and improve my xinxing.