(Minghui.org) One of my colleagues at work is deeply poisoned by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture and is of poor moral character. He was downgraded because of a suspected relationship with a female boss. Later he was promoted to deputy head and transferred to another office. Two years ago, I was assigned to work in that office, and he became my colleague.
At first, I was very upset. I looked down on him, thinking that he was inferior to me. Instead of being dismissed or demoted for his misconduct, he was promoted. Moral character is of no importance in today’s China ruled by the CCP.
Because I refused to give up practicing Falun Dafa and distributing truth-clarifying information about Falun Gong (also called Falun Dafa), 18 years ago I was sent to a forced labor camp for two years. After I was released and returned to work, I was demoted and my salary reduced. I only worked as a general staff member, which this person knew.
Having to work alongside such a person, I was unhappy. I used to tell him about Falun Dafa and how important it was to quit the CCP and its youth organizations. But he refused to listen and was of the opinion that the CCP could benefit him. He thought I was ridiculous.
But nothing is accidental. I calmed down and thought: “Since I was assigned to work with such a person, perhaps some of my attachments have to be removed. At least my attachment of looking down on others must be removed.”
There were many forms to be filled out and submitted to the leadership at the time. My coworker always made unwise remarks or criticized by telling others how to fill out the forms, but he himself didn’t know how to.
I was so sick and tired of him that I could no longer be polite. Seeing that I was upset, he said, “Why are you in such a bad temper? Why do you get angry so easily? If you keep that up, you’ll die of anger.”
That made me even angrier, because I felt ashamed that someone like that had pointed out my shortcoming. I tried to cover up my anger, saying, “I’m not angry. There’s nothing worth being angry about.” But I was so angry inside that I looked down on him even further.
After every xinxing conflict, I feel bad and wondered with regret,“Why couldn’t I stay undisturbed? Why was I so upset?” When someone pointed it out to me, I would still try to cover it up by saying that I was not angry. But, when I told him “I am not angry,” I certainly sounded angry. From the tone of my voice and the look on my face, it could be seen that I was upset. So my trying to cover it up has also become an unnecessary explanation, which will make people think that I have no self-control.
I know that my anger is not in line with how a practitioner should be. Although I was angry in front of others, I did not admit that I was angry. I also argued: “I have not taken it to heart and it is not worth getting angry over.” This is the attachment to vanity and to saving face.
By looking inward further, I also found more attachments, such as seeking fame and profit, jealousy, competitiveness, and human sentimentality. Selfishness is behind these attachments. I fear losing face and my self-interests. When someone does not treat me well, I am resentful and want comfort and ease. I want to hear flattery or good words and want to work and cultivate in a tranquil environment.
Master said: “For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests.” (“A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
Only now have I realized that I have many stubborn attachments. When encountering contradictions, I did not really look internally, which has led to my having to face such a heart-wrenching test. In fact, Master has arranged this opportunity and environment in which I can remove my attachments and improve in my cultivation. I didn’t cherish this opportunity but regarded the things that made me unhappy from a human point of view—as trouble. I was not only angry, I was also resentful. I even looked down on others. Is that how a practitioner should behave?
Now, I am truly looking inward. I tell myself: “Whenever I encounter trouble or friction, I must remain calm. I must remove my attachments, such as looking down on others, feeling upset, competitiveness, vanity, and saving face. I must be beyond sentimentality and selfishness and treat others, including that colleague of poor moral quality, kindly. He may be someone with a predestined relationship, because there is nothing accidental for a cultivator.
“It is not always sunny on the path of cultivation path and not everyone I come across will be pleasing to my eye. I will encounter people who are not very nice many times. If I am kind to people like that, this will reflect whether I have achieved the standard of a true practitioner! I will treat them kindly with the compassion and tolerance of a practitioner.”
After changing my attitude, I felt relieved. Although he still does not listen when I clarify the truth about Dafa to him, perhaps his lucky chance has not come yet. I will keep on sending forth righteous thoughts. With the progression of the Fa-rectification, the evil factors will be completely eliminated. By then he will be aware of the truth and stay away from the evil Party.