(Minghui.org) I came down with a serious illness in 2013 and was hospitalized three times that year. The illness, however, was getting worse. This issue spurred me on to practice Falun Dafa again.
I made up my mind to memorize and recite the Fa teachings in July 2014. At first I told myself that I would recite one page of Zhuan Falun every day. I started with one paragraph, and read it many times, then recited it several times to learn it by heart. During those days, my thoughts were filled with the Fa. I recited the Fa before getting up, when walking, and before bedtime.
This allowed me to enlighten to Dafa’s principles. I measured what I said, thought, and did by the Fa. It helped me eliminate anything that was not on the Fa. During the process, Master Li Hongzhi helped me eliminate many harmful substances and a lot of thought karma. Many of my attachments and desires were removed, and my health gradually improved. I especially noticed that my attachments to showing-off, competitiveness, and jealousy were weakened, and my xinxing improved little by little.
It took me ten months to recite Zhuan Falun the first time around. I then started my second round of reciting the book, with a more earnest attitude. Reciting the Fa became a habit. The more I recited, the more I realized Master’s greatness, the power of Dafa, and the wonderfulness of cultivation.
While reciting the Fa I found that my worst attachment was selfishness. After finally detecting it, I became determined to get rid of it.
One day I went to a tailor shop to order a down jacket. On the way there, I thought that I would use the opportunity to eliminate my selfishness. When I was selecting the fabric, another lady began bargaining with the owner. I thought that my seeing this was not a coincidence, and that I should use the opportunity to eliminate my attachment. Without attempting to bargain, I made a down payment for the jacket and left.
On the way home, my selfishness began to bother me, and I thought, “I didn't bargain with the tailor, so others might think that I was dumb and clueless. I will lose money if I don't counter the tailor's price, and so on.” I then thought to myself, “Stop. Today I am a real Dafa practitioner, not an ordinary person. I just wanted to lose my interests knowingly.”
I calmed down, but the selfish thoughts returned from time to time, and I learned to reject them. I focused on practicing and reciting the Fa. I subsequently stopped bargaining when I bought something at the market. I have not let go of selfishness completely, but I now recognize it and can deal better with this attachment.
Lust and desire didn't seem to be a big issue for me, and I hadn’t paid much attention to it. When people talked about such things, I felt embarrassed and disgusted. I didn’t want to listen to what they were saying.
Master said:
“And this is the demon of lust, something very serious. Marital relations are normal for ordinary husbands and wives to have, as it makes successive generations possible. It allows the human race to continue on, and so feelings and emotions are basic to this world. So for ordinary people such behavior is perfectly natural in marriage. Counted among the feelings and emotions that people have are anger and happiness, love and hate, enjoyment as well as dislike, admiration and disdain, along with fondness and aversion. Ordinary people just live for feelings and emotions. Then, as practitioners who aspire to spiritual greatness, we mustn’t let feelings or emotions influence how we see things. We have to break free of them.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I discovered that my attachment to lust and desire was very strong, and hidden deep within me, so I decided that it was time to eliminate the attachment. When I tried to remove it, dirty thoughts popped up in my mind, and I didn't know what to do. I knew that I did not want these thoughts, and needed to get rid of them. When such thoughts came up again, I told myself that I was a practitioner and those dirty thoughts were not allowed to hide in my mind. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them.
The thoughts weakened after a while. It seemed that they came from a very deep dimension. Once the thoughts appeared in my mind, I shouted in my mind “eliminate.” With Master's strengthening and my righteous actions, the dirty thoughts became less and less. I knew that Master was helping me and had removed much of the attachment to lust and desire.
Master said,
“You put in the effort and your teacher will handle the rest.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I realized that it was not easy, however, when I encountered several tests of lust and desire. The first one was in a dream. The demon of lust approached me, pretending to be my husband, and I failed the test. I was very disappointed, got up, and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the demon of lust, and other rotten demons in my dimension.
The next test of lust and desire came after some time. In my dream, the lust demon showed up as my husband again. This time, I had the thought that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner, and would never do this again. I woke up right after this thought. I was thrilled that I passed the test. Later, however, I slowly let down my guard.
I failed the test again a year later when the demon of lust approached me as my husband in a dream. I was angry and upset when I woke up. I realized that my righteous thoughts were not strong at the time. I begged Master to help me clean my dimensional field.
After some time of persistent cultivation, the demon of lust whispered in my ear in my dream, “You won.”
I had a habit of talking without thinking first. After reciting the Fa for a while, I realized that this was a problem.
Master said,
“I’m the type of person who if he speaks must tell the truth.” (The Eighth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Because I am a practitioner, I need to follow Dafa’s principles. If something is not in line with the Fa, I should not say it. I knew that I needed to pay attention to what I said. Every day when sending forth righteous thoughts, I added the thought, “Don't say anything that is not in line with the Fa, and correct my words and actions according to the Fa.”
From then on, I paid attention to my tone of voice. For example, one day my husband was looking for something in my drawer. I was not happy about it and wanted to reprimand him. Right away, I realized I was wrong. So, I changed my tone and asked nicely if he needed some help. He told me that he already found what he was looking for.
I had a wonderful experience as my xinxing kept improving. For a period of time, I felt that my body was getting larger when I was doing the exercises. I grew very large, which was way beyond anything I ever imagined. I was huge. My feet were on this earth, but my body reached the top of the sky. There were foggy substances up there. My head was in those foggy substances. I was enormous, standing in the universe. It felt like there was a soft white shell surrounding that space. I used my head to make a hole and got out. I flew very far away, to a place where there were no humans.
Since then, I could enter that dimension when I was doing the sitting meditation. Later, this dimension became a big, round ball. Each day I was sitting on it when I did the meditation. I did not move, but the ball was getting smaller and smaller. One day I could no longer sit on it. It dropped further and further away from me. I was still sitting in the same spot, in the middle of nowhere.
Master said,
“His palm erected, the whole Cosmos shakes,A grand Buddha stands between Heaven and Earth.”(The Awakened One, Hong Yin)
I benefited greatly from reciting the Fa, and my cultivation moved forward. It changed me from an average person to a diligent practitioner. I now study the Fa by reciting it, and I measure my thoughts with the Fa. I work to remove anything that is not in line with the Fa. My mentality is very different than before.
I no longer watch TV since I started reciting the Fa. At first, I stopped watching TV to save time, but now I don’t want to add any human thoughts to my mind, which would harm my cultivation. I feel pity when I see people on TV fighting for personal interests. When I hear people talking about sex, I feel sad, as it is ruining them.